you and me
by bs13
Summary: Kara has just had a baby, moved into her ex's apartment, and temporarily left her job; it figures that she might as well add "realizing she's not straight because of the pretty neighbor next door" to the list. AU.
1. your eyes looked like coming home

**listen. kara literally named mon-el, dressed him, and fit him into her life. that's not romantic! she's basically his mother! so you know i had to write this baby AU bc of that. and also because katie mcgrath makes me weak and lena luthor is such a huge lesbian**

 **ships featured: lena/kara (though they officially meet next chap), alex/maggie, and james/winn. the last two are side pairings though, but i love them too.**

 **[find me on tumblr djsugar and ask me about this au. i would die for it]**

* * *

The moment they place the baby on her chest, Kara is done for.

He's so _small_ in her arms, his tiny body swaddled in hospital blankets folded twice; Kara blinks back a rush of unexpected tears as his little red face wrinkles up, memorizing every detail of his face through watery eyes. She brushes her fingertips over every part of him; over his soft tuft of brown hair; over his soft cheeks and small nose; over his little hands and feet that wriggle at her touch. He's light, weighing in at just six ounces, but there is a heavy feeling on her chest that won't disappear and for all Kara knows he weighs twice as much.

A wet cloth touches her forehead, reminding Kara she's not alone; Alex is there, ducking on the floor and wiping the sweat off Kara's brow with one hand while the other comes up to squeeze Kara's shoulder. Alex's eyes are heavy with exhaustion, but there is no mistaking the tenderness to her gaze as she, too, looks down at Kara's son in utter awe.

"He looks like you," Alex murmurs, and she lets go of Kara's shoulder in favor of brushing her thumb over the baby's hand. "Small, though."

"He's perfect," Kara says, voice hoarse from yelling as much as she did throughout the delivery. But every bad memory, every stab of pain delivered and every burning tear shed, has vanished. Now, her entire world has entirely shifted its axis, and every thought running through her head is centered around herself and her baby boy as if they're the only two people on earth.

The nurse comes around a minute later, helping to get Kara situated for the very first breastfeeding. Alex helps unbutton Kara's hospital gown, then untucks the baby's blanket a little so they're skin to skin as Kara directs Mike to her breast. He latches on easily enough, and Kara giggles at the odd feeling; the feeling of his small mouth sucking the meager milk she's producing makes her feel—strange as it sounds—like she's doing something important, being able to provide for her baby in a way everyone else can't.

As Kara nurses, Alex leans close and talks to her about anything and everything; she talks about work, about Maggie, about the lady that always walks into Maggie's precinct when her cat gets stuck in a tree. But eventually, as Kara finishes up, Alex asks,

"Did you and Adam pick a name?"

Just like that, Alex has shattered the illusion of Kara's new world. It really _isn't_ just the two of them, not just Kara and her new baby. There are so many people waiting—so many people _involved_ —and for a second, Kara looks down at her baby and selfishly wishes it wasn't like that at all.

Kara looks up at her sister, head dropping back on the hospital bed pillow as her own exhaustion hits. "Mike," she replies. "And we're going with Adam's last name."

Alex just nods, standing up and brushing a kiss to the top of Kara's head. "I'll let the doctors know, for the birth certificate," she says. "And I'll let the others come in to see him."

"Already?"

Alex pauses at the doorway, picking up on the slightly panicked edge to Kara's voice. "Maggie just got here," she says, and that's explanation enough. "Besides, I'm sure Adam would like to see his son."

Kara bites her lip. "Okay," she agrees, because that was _her_ idea, after all, to have Alex by her side at the delivery instead of Adam.

"I'll be back," Alex promises, and she leaves.

But she doesn't come back immediately; hospital rules say only two in the room at a time, and the first two to come visit are Adam and Cat. Kara feels slightly uneasy; she's been working for Cat for three years, and she's never felt as unprofessional as she does right now, dressed in nothing but a wrinkled hospital gown and with her glasses askew on her face.

"You look awful, Kiera," Cat sniffs, removing a pair of sunglasses off her face as she takes a seat in the hospital armchair by Kara's bedside. There's no real bite to her voice, though; her attention is kept only by Mike, who Adam gently lifts out of Kara's arms.

"He's cute," Adam says with a grin, obviously just as in love with the baby as Kara is. "Hi, Mike," he says directly to his son, voice softer than Kara's ever heard it to be (not that Kara knows him so well, anyway). "I'm your dad."

Kara feels her eyelids slowly slipping closed on their own accord. She's vaguely aware of Cat muttering something to Adam about how "two average people don't make cute babies, it must be my genes" before she drifts off to sleep.

When she wakes up, it's to the the blurry outline of James Olsen, whose smiling face comes into view as he slips her glasses on her face. Kara blinks and takes in her surroundings, noticing that Cat is gone, but Adam is sitting in the armchair she'd been in, a sleeping Mike in his arms.

"Hey, sleepyhead," James says, his wide grin staying as he squeezes Kara's hand. "Or should I say, _Mommy_."

Kara smiles, sleepy but genuine. "He's so small, James," she says dreamily. "So cute."

James chuckles in agreement. "Yeah, he's a real looker alright."

"Did you hold him yet?" Kara asks. "Wait, how long have I been asleep?"

"Just a few hours," James answers. "We'd have let you sleep more, but the nurse is suggesting you nurse him again. Something about routines?"

Kara knows. She's done research. She knows she has to try and feed him about every two to three hours, so her milk production can increase and Mike can easily regain all weight he'll eventually lose. So she agrees and holds out her hands for the baby, which Adam hands over to James, who then places him carefully in Kara's arms.

"I'll go get Alex," James says, after helping rearrange Kara's blankets so she can open up her gown in (limited) privacy; Adam helpfully looks away, at least. "She's been trying to fight the nurse to come back in, anyway."

"You'll be back though, right?" Kara questions, voice small all of a sudden. She hates to feel so needy, but the shininess of being a new parent is slowly dimming; suddenly, all she wants are the closest people in her life squeezed around this hospital bed telling her she'll be alright. People who aren't...well, _Adam_.

But James can only reply, "Of course," and brush the hair out of Kara's face gently, smiling in that safe, familiar way of his before he leaves. When he's gone, the atmosphere of the room shifts considerably; Adam seems slightly jumpy, bouncing his leg up and down, and Kara stares down at her chest and tries not to look over at him.

Then, "So how have you been?"

Kara looks up, and Adam's looking right at her, face serious but a tentative smile on his face. "I think it's a little too late to ask that," Kara can't help but joke, smiling a bit herself, "since I'm holding your baby and all."

Adam laughs, genuinely, and it's nice; Kara remembers how _easy_ it used to be with them. "I guess you're right," he agrees. "Sorry I didn't come back sooner."

"That's fine," says Kara. And it is. Adam doesn't owe her a thing; they'd parted, certain they would never see each other again, after an ill-timed fling and that _should_ have been the end of that.

"No, I should've—" Adam hesitates, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't want you to think I'm not in this as much as you are."

Kara decides to ignore the fact that _Adam_ was the one who stayed in Opal City—even after Kara had informed him of her pregnancy—and instead says, "It's okay. I know you have your whole life over there."

"Yeah." Adam doesn't seem too thrilled at himself, at least. "Listen, about that...I was wondering if maybe you and Mike would want to move in. With me." At Kara's bewildered look, he's quick to explain, "My mom has a spare apartment she's renting me here, in National City. It has some spare rooms you and Mike can stay in, and it's near your job..."

The thought _is_ slightly appealing. Kara's been living in Alex's apartment—in Alex's bed—since she found out she was pregnant, and her old landlord has already replaced Kara with a new tenant at her old apartment. But Kara doesn't _know_ Adam; they dated for all of two weeks before calling it quits, and they've only been communicating over text recently during the length of Kara's pregnancy.

"You don't have to," Adam is sure to add, looking nervously at Kara. "I just want to be there for Mike, and I know you've been staying at your sister's. My mom won't even stop by if you don't want her to. It's...up to you."

Kara thinks of Alex, of how she's been wanting to ask Maggie to move in with her for months already, and Kara knows she has to be able to step away from her sister sooner or later.

.

.

.

Kara's room feels as big as Alex's whole apartment does, and a whole lot emptier.

That is not to say the room itself lacks anything. It's wide, with high-reaching white walls and a giant bed against the left wall with matching white sheets (that seems to still take very little space). On the wall adjacent to the bed is a large window, as tall as Kara and only shielded by a set of transparent white curtains; Kara briefly peeks out of it, and is overwhelmed by how high up the apartment is. It feels more and more like she's being locked into a tower instead of moving into somewhere new.

"Just say the word," says a voice from the doorway, sudden and unexpected, "and we drive back to my place."

Kara turns around, body relaxing when she sees it's just Alex. "I've already made James and Winn take all my stuff inside," she says. "They'll hate me forever if I make them take it back down."

"They hate the idea of you staying here even more than I do," Alex negates, and she pushes off the doorway to start examining Kara's room as thoroughly as she must've done to the kitchen and living room. "You don't owe him anything, you know."

"It's not that." Kara takes the spot at the doorway instead as Alex starts to look inside the walk-in closet. From here, Kara can hear the others crashing around in the living room; James and Winn are trying to set up a TV, Maggie is yelling directions at them; Eliza, Kara's former foster mom, is holding Mike and scolding the others for being so loud while her grandson sleeps.

"Then what is it?" Alex reemerges looking less stern than before, her features softened to worry. "I know my apartment isn't as fancy as this one, but it's home. And I like having you there."

Kara grins. "And I like stealing all the covers when I sleep in your bed," she says, but she tilts her head to the living room; Alex steps out of the bedroom in time to see Eliza handing Mike to Maggie, to see the dimpled grin Maggie dons at the sight of the baby. "But you know I can't stay there forever. You have your own life."

Alex melts at the sight (predictably), but she's quick to keep arguing. "You're allowed to want me around."

"And you're allowed to be selfish and live with your girlfriend," Kara says, dropping her head on Alex's shoulder as they watch their family argue. "I'll probably call you twice a day."

"I'll probably let you."

Eliza comes walking up to her daughters, smoothing her hands over their arms. "If you two are done hiding away, come join us," she says. "The boys will never get this TV up if we don't intervene."

Alex shakes her head, sighing, but Kara just laughs and tugs her sister to where their family is. _This_ —this familiarity, in everything from James's smile to Maggie's laugh to Winn's insistent protests that he knows what he's doing—is already making Kara feel a little less overwhelmed, a little more at home.

Mike is awake, but barely; Kara seizes the moment to breastfeed him, taking him out of Maggie's arms and setting up to feed him right there on the couch. Alex fits herself at Maggie's side, and Maggie presses a kiss to her hair; Winn fakes a grimace at the PDA, but James kisses his forehead a second later and everyone can't help but laugh at how Winn blushes. Eliza playfully chides them all, insisting she needs quiet to call for pizza; Mike takes that moment to start crying, so Kara excuses herself from the sanctity of their familiarity and goes to her new room to feed him instead.

He settles in the darkness, dark little eyes gazing up at her as Kara coaxes him into latching on. He starts drifting off a few minutes in, so Kara lifts his feet to keep him awake, leaning back on the big bed and fondly smiling down at her baby.

"It's you and me now, Mike," she whispers, ghosting her fingertips over his neck. "Just the two of us."


	2. me niego a estar sin ti

**i** **finally introduced lena - and some really gay stuff, of course. let's play a game called "how many times can kara miss how gay she's being" before she realizes how bi she really is. lena on the other hand knows how gay she is. what a lesbian.**

 **note: i rely only on interactions with babies and online research, so i'm sorry if some of the kara & mike scenes seem too impersonal? it's hard to get in the groove of writing baby/mother interactions ngl**

 **other note: i am "keeping" maggie as latina in this story. i am latina myself and i recognize how damaging the casting of floriana lima was for maggie's character, and i don't count her character as latina rep myself, so just a head's-up if you don't like that (which i completely understand)!**

* * *

Mike is really quite a sleepy baby.

Newborn babies are supposed to sleep most of the day anyway, but Mike truly only wakes up to eat. He's even falling asleep right now, as Kara bathes him; he startles awake every time she presses the warm towel to his skin again, and then he looks at her sleepily and drifts off until the next second Kara wipes at his skin.

" _Mike_ ," Kara huffs, trying to be stern but breaking into a smile as he blinks up at her. "You need to stay awake!"

He's not very good at following directions, it turns out. But he does stay awake a little longer as Kara gently swabs the area around his umbilical cord stump, wriggling his little legs. It's not until his whole body has been throughly wiped and Kara prepares to wash his hair that he drifts off again, and even then he's startled awake when Kara pours a cupful of warm water over his shampooed head.

"There you go, all done!" Kara tells him cheerfully as she swaddles him up in a towel. She takes him into her room, abandoning all the washcloths she'd used by the bathroom sink for now, and focuses on getting him dressed; Eliza said he should fall asleep soon after he's changed, so it's a good thing Kara has already fed him.

The sound of the door opening and closing echoes, audible from Kara's room. Kara whispers to Mike that it's his daddy coming home from work, but Mike just wiggles unhelpfully as Kara wrestles him into some warm clothes and slips gloves over his hands. The clothes and the lingering warmth of the bath seem to lull him right to sleep, though, just as Eliza said; his eyes flutter shut just as Kara picks him up. She carefully sets him down in the bassinet by her bed, aware that in a few hours he'll be up and screaming, but right now he's peaceful and so _cute_ that Kara can't find it in herself to resent him for it.

Kara stares down at him for a minute or two before deciding to step outside and see if Adam's brought dinner. Neither of them are big at cooking, so Adam's been bringing home takeout for the past few nights; to Alex, Kara lies and pretends that Adam can cook pretty well, promising to one day have her over for dinner. (She'll deal with that reality far into the future.) But as Kara walks out, a question about his day on her lips, she doesn't make it two steps.

There's a _woman_ sitting on the couch, her legs curled beneath her up on the cushion; a pair of high heels are thrown haphazardly on the floor like she's kicked them off, and she seems to be staring blankly ahead at the dark TV screen, a glass of wine in hand. As Kara watches—mouth agape, by the way—the stranger sips at the wine, which must be from the bottle Cat had brought by as a housewarming gift (that Kara can't touch, and Adam hasn't touched either, in solidarity). The woman doesn't seem too interested in moving, shoulders drooping and head titling back as if she's about to fall asleep right there.

Kara panics. And instead of doing something reasonable—like calling Maggie, who is a police officer, or even calling up Alex the FBI agent—she squeaks, the sound jarring in the silence, loud and entirely like something out of a horror movie. The thought of horror movies makes her suddenly uneasy, and she staggers backward, her back hitting the living room wall loudly. (She's no expert, but alerting potential serial killers of her presence doesn't seem like a very smart move.)

The woman starts, nearly dropping the wine glass in hand as she swivels her head to stare at Kara. Kara blinks, surprised that the woman looks so— _ordinary_. And so—well— _pretty_. Kara feels frozen, eyes darting over every part of the stranger before her, taking in her intense green eyes, wide in surprise; her lipsticked mouth, open as if she's about to speak; her jawline, which looks sharp enough to cut glass; her dark hair, straight and long over her shoulders; her skin, pale and unblemished, as if cut from marble.

It takes a moment for Kara to get to her senses and stop gaping, because _oh gosh_ the woman starts speaking.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" the woman asks, eyes no longer wide, but narrowed; she looks suspicious of Kara, her gaze accusatory.

Kara finds her voice to sputter, " _Your_ apartment? This is mine! Er, well not _mine_ , but—I live here!"

"Surely you're mistaken, because I—" the woman's sentence dies off as she takes in the room once more, looking down at the wine glass in hand and then at the TV, and all at once her harsh demeanor fades and she seems to sink into the couch. "This...is not my apartment."

It's only then that Kara notices how _tired_ this woman seems, how sad and heavy her eyes are when they're not angry. The woman stands, a suit jacket over her shoulders dropping low; she looks like she's had a rough day, her white dress shirt wrinkling as she ducks down to tug her black pencil skirt back into place.

"I'm really sorry," the woman says when it's clear Kara isn't going to speak, her voice apologetic. "My brother sometimes leaves the door unlocked, and I was tired and didn't check the room number—and oh, I must have opened your wine."

Kara hesitantly moves closer. "That's...okay," she says faintly. "I mean, I just thought you were a serial killer is all."

"A serial killer?" the woman repeats, a bit of amusement creeping into her voice as if she's about to laugh any second.

"Don't laugh," Kara says, cheeks burning. "I-I didn't know who you were!"

The woman smiles, that lipsticked mouth quirking into something like a smirk only a second later. "You must be the mysterious new tenant that the elusive Cat Grant is renting her apartment to, then," she says, and there's something in her tone—something coy—that makes Kara inexplicably nervous. "I don't think we've met."

"Right, yes," Kara says, hands awkwardly going to adjust her glasses. "I do live here. In Ms. Grant's apartment. But she's not renting it to _me_ , exactly, just—to her son, and I live with him."

"Ah," says the woman, and her smile fades a bit, something akin to disappointment in her eyes. "I didn't know she had a son."

"Well, you know Ms. Grant; she never likes to let people know she likes anyone. But she has two sons! One of them is thirteen. Not the one who I live with, of course. I mean I like her thirteen year old son, and I probably know him better than her other son because I dated _him_ for like two weeks before we broke up, but...anyway Carter is thirteen, he can't even rent an apartment—"

The woman's laughter stops Kara mid-ramble, the sound delicate and pretty and...very not unwelcome. The disappointment is gone, replaced with dancing mirth, and she playfully notes, "I didn't get your name,"

"Oh! Right. I'm Kara," Kara introduces herself, an involuntary blush coloring her cheeks pink. She tugs at her shirt collar, both to give her hands something to do and because it's rapidly getting _warm_ in the room. (Or maybe that's her imagination.)

"Well, Kara, it's very nice to meet you," says the woman, and there is no mistaking the flirtatiousness behind it; Kara's eyes widen for a full two seconds before she pretends she'd done no such thing. "I'm Lena. I live next door, but I promise I'll try not to break into your apartment again after this."

Kara laughs, awkward and stinted, and it prompts a clear shift in atmosphere; Lena gives a brief smile as she ducks down to pick up her heels, setting down the stolen wine glass and fully putting on her suit jacket. She straightens, impeccable and authoritative, after putting on said heels; the only proof she's even human is her white shirt, still wrinkled at the waist and slightly untucked.

"I guess I'm overstaying my welcome," says Lena, polite as she steps away from the couch. "I really should go and see if my brother is at my apartment."

"Okay! And it's, it's not a big deal," Kara hurries to say as Lena moves to the door. "I mean, it's nice to meet new people. And you're nice. Um."

Lena stops a foot away from the door, an indescribable look lingering in her eyes. "Well," she says after a beat, "I don't suppose I could interest you in going for a drink sometime? As a way to make it up to you, for drinking your wine."

"I don't really drink," Kara says, a bit confused at how Lena's face seems to fall as soon as the words come out of Kara's mouth. She's quick to add, "But we should definitely meet up! For like, lunch? Or dinner. Or if you ever just want to stop by and we can order pizza and watch movies. It—it would be nice to have a friend, here."

Lena raises an eyebrow, quizzical but ever-amused. "Sure," she agrees, and there's a slightly confused tone to her voice as she finishes, "We should meet up. As friends."

Kara beams, and she's about to say something else when a loud buzzing sound startles her. Lena is unfazed, though; she reaches into her suit jacket pocket and pulls out her cell phone, frowning at the screen before looking apologetically at Kara.

"It's my brother," Lena explains, and she opens the front door. "He's probably looking for me. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah! Of course. Um, bye!" Kara waves, weakly, as Lena smiles one final time and disappears, the door shutting softly after her. The house feels a bit emptier when Lena is gone—because Kara is just that _lonely_ —and she sighs and decides she'll call Alex.

(After she tries to cook herself something for dinner, of course.)

.

.

.

Sleep is truly a blessing.

Kara doesn't realize how little she gets until one night—one night, the one night Adam moves Mike's bassinet to his room to look after him (for non food-related purposes, but still)—she's woken up from the longest night she's slept since Mike was born. A full three hours, anyway.

But Adam is freaking out, and Mike is screaming in the background because Adam has _left him alone_ , so Kara quickly gets up, worried and half-asleep and also sort of mad at Adam. (Okay, very mad at Adam.)

"The thing on his stomach fell off!" Adam says, very panicked and very un-Adam like. "I think he's bleeding."

"What?" Kara rubs the sleep out of her eyes, blindly following him into his room. "The thing—oh, do you mean his stump?"

"I think!"

Kara groans, picking up Mike carefully and opening up his loose pajamas to see that Adam's right, the umbilical cord stump has fallen off. It isn't a shock—Mike's already a week and a half old, at the right age for this to happen—but Kara lets Adam freak out anyway.

"Okay," she says after a moment, surveying the wound, "I think we're supposed to clean it. Or something."

Adam looks horrified at the prospect, but between the two of them, they gently clean the belly button with a Q-tip, redress him so the area is open and exposed to the air, and feed him once more before settling him back to sleep. Adam still looks slightly sick as he and Kara sit at the kitchen table afterwards, Adam with a glass of wine before him and Kara with a plate of pizza rolls.

"You're really good at this," Adam says after his glass is half-emptied, looking more relaxed but still apprehensive; he keeps staring in the direction of the hallway, as if forming a game plan for when Mike inevitably cries next.

Kara swallows a bite. Shrugs. "I call my mom every day," she confesses. "I'm terrified I'm doing something wrong."

"My mom doesn't even know what to do, sometimes," Adam chuckles. "She keeps trying to get me to get a nurse every time I bring up any questions. I think she just wants you back at work."

Kara is very fond of Ms. Grant, she will admit. Sure, she never gets Kara's name right and is very demanding and abrasive, but Kara can't help but feel a little flattered Ms. Grant misses her. Or misses her work ethic. Either way, it's sort of nice, because Kara misses her too. The job not so much, but Ms. Grant's become like a mentor—and a sort of confidant—and Kara misses having some who is impartial to her life. That won't ever be true again, because Ms. Grant's life has become intertwined with hers now; their sort-of-but-not-really friendship won't be the same.

"Oh hey, did you want some of this?" Adam asks suddenly, bringing Kara back to the present as he pours himself a second glass of wine. "I can get you a glass."

"I can't drink alcohol while I'm breastfeeding, actually," Kara declines. "But thanks." (Besides, she's satisfied with cramming three whole pizza rolls in her mouth at once.)

"...right. You told me that." At the very least, Adam looks disappointed he'd forgotten something so big.

"Do you want some pizza rolls?" Kara offers an olive branch of her own, and Adam lights up and takes a few, clearly glad she isn't upset.

They end up staying up the rest of the night, because Mike is awfully restless. He wakes up an hour later, so Adam tries to burp him while Kara turns on some lullabies; then, twenty minutes after that Kara caves and feeds him again, and they spend the rest of the night like that: one of them carrying him while the other dozes off until they trade him off.

(But Kara feels, for the first time in a while, like this might not be as hard as she'd thought.)

.

.

.

"He just feel asleep, but he only burped once and he usually burps at least twice so if he starts crying try to burp him, okay? And I just fed him, so don't worry about that, I'll be back before he has to eat again. If he wakes up but doesn't cry that's okay too! Just play with him a little bit, or take him out into the living room and open the blinds so he can see it's daylight because we're supposed to try and set him into a routine as soon as possible—"

"Kara," James cuts her off, gentle but amused nonetheless, "breathe."

Kara exhales dutifully, but her shoulders sag a second later. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I just haven't left him before like this."

"You haven't left this apartment in two weeks," James says. "Trust me, you're going to go crazy if you don't leave."

"But if he wakes up..."

"Then I'll be here to burp him or play with him," James assures her, reassuringly taking hold of her shoulders. "Now come on, Winn's waiting outside. You're ready for this."

"Okay." Kara nods, more to herself than James. "I'm ready."

"No running, though. You heard the doctor—walking only, and maybe light push-ups if you're ready," James warns.

"No running, got it," Kara agrees. "Besides, I'm sure even if I did, Winn couldn't keep up."

"Hey, don't badmouth my boyfriend. He's trying to help you."

Kara snorts. "He's just there to make sure I don't run," she says. "And I know you made him do this."

James just grins, neither denying nor acceding the claim, as he nudges her in direction of the door. Kara hugs him quickly—just because she can—and then leaves, taking the elevator to the lobby where Winn is likely waiting. Sure enough, he's standing there (in sweatpants), looking uncomfortable at how swanky and golden everything around him seems to be.

At the sight of Kara, he nearly doubles over in relief. "Kara, thank God," he whispers as she ducks close enough to hear. "Old ladies keep asking me to carry their bags to their rooms. Help."

Kara laughs. She's missed Winn.

They go for a walk around the park by the apartment building, the one that has a rather large pond and a running trail. Winn steers Kara obediently away from the trail, so they opt to circle the pond a few times. However, waddling around the pond are _ducks_ , and Kara can't resist; she lasts twenty minutes power-walking before she cracks, and she kneels down and pets the ones that will let her.

Winn looks relieved they don't have to do much, but he _is_ a little concerned for Kara's sake. "You sure you don't want to keep going?" he asks, a little out of breath. "I mean, you love to exercise. For some reason." (The last part is said under his breath, but Kara hears it anyway.)

"I will," Kara insists, but oh, one of the ducks has _babies_ and how can she resist? "Maybe tomorrow. Right?"

"Sure, tomorrow," Winn agrees, but he winces as he kneels down beside her on the grass. "I think I sprained something."

Kara giggles as he topples over a second later. She falls back on the grass too, the sun warm on her face but the fall air still cool enough that she doesn't overheat. The ducks waddle past her face, and Winn groans to her right about mysterious green goo on his pants; it feels like old times, hanging out with Winn and living for the smallest of moments.

By the time they get back to the apartment building—both of them with two ice cream cones apiece, Kara because she wants two and Winn because he's bringing one for James—they have only exercised about twenty minutes of the hour and a half they've been gone, but it was _worth it_ , just to have some time for herself. It makes Kara feel guilty, to crave time away from Mike; he's her baby, and she loves him to the moon and back, but lately it's been hard to differentiate being tired and being lonely and it feels like both are related to Mike's presence in her life.

"So what's Adam up to all day?" Winn asks as they walk to the elevator, frowning as he hits the "up" button with his elbow.

Kara licks at her cone before replying, "He's at work. His job has a branch forty-five minutes away from here."

"Huh." Winn ponders the information for a moment. "I guess that's pretty dedicated. Or whatever."

Kara rolls her eyes. "He's not a bad guy, Winn."

The elevator opens at that moment, but before Winn can reply, the distinct sound of heels clicking and a faint "Hold the elevator!" sounds. The rest of Kara's speech—mostly about how Adam is really trying and that's good enough—dies off when Lena, next door neighbor Lena, comes walking up.

Lena looks really nice. But it's about sixty degrees outside, and Kara lingers a bit too long on the gray skirt Lena is wearing that doesn't seem very practical in this weather. It is objectively a nice skirt, that goes very well with Lena's red shirt and black blazer, but it just doesn't seem like it would be very warm. A second later, Kara realizes she's staring, and she looks away from Lena's legs and up to Lena's face (who, of course, has by now noticed).

"Kara," Lena greets, a slow smile dawning as she appraises the girl in question. "Fancy catching you here."

"Lena! H-hey," Kara stammers. "Are you going up?"

Lena raises an eyebrow. "Yes, well, we _are_ in the lobby," she says. "It's the only option."

"...right." Kara quickly steps into the elevator, avoiding Winn's questioning look as she hits the button for their floor.

"So," Lena says once the doors close, directing her attention to Winn, "you must be Ms. Grant's son."

Winn looks half insulted. "Me? Ms. Grant's son? Um, no, she calls me Wit even though I've been working for her for three years." He squints at Lena, suspiciously. "Who are _you_?"

" _Winn_ ," Kara hisses. "This is Lena. She lives next door to me and Adam. I'm—sorry, Lena, this is my friend Winn. And he isn't trying to be rude, I'm sure." (This she says with a kick to his shin, which makes him cry out in pain.)

"No, of course not," says Winn faintly, voice pained.

Lena just nods, uncertainly, as the elevator reaches their destination. "Nice to meet you," she says anyway, and as they exit the elevator and walk to their rooms, she finishes, "You two enjoy your evening."

"Wait, Lena," Kara blurts out before Lena can get to her door.

Lena pauses before her doorway, hand halfway into her purse as she reaches for her key. Kara opens her mouth to speak, but she doesn't have anything in mind—anything that could explain why she doesn't want Lena to leave yet—and instead she holds out the ice cream cone she hasn't touched, the one that is a little runny but still good, and she says,

"Ice cream?"

Winn stares at Kara like she's crazy. Lena does, too.

"Oh. Sure," Lena says, taking the cone hesitantly. "I—don't remember the last time I had ice cream."

" _What_? That's so sad!" Kara exclaims, then falters. "I mean, that's...that must suck. But this kind is really good, so I'm sure you'll love it! If you like vanilla ice cream, of course. It's my favorite so that's why I chose it but it's yours now so..."

Lena bites her lip, unfairly amused. "Thank you, Kara. I'm sure I will."

"Okay! H-have a good night, Lena!" Kara says, shoving Winn in the direction of her door as Lena turns to open her door. Faintly, she's aware that Winn hisses "it's three in the afternoon," but she just shoves him into her living room and ignores that she can hear Lena chuckling quietly in the background.

.

.

.

Kara realizes how serious Maggie and Alex are by accident.

Maggie and her sister have been dating for about six months, and it's Alex's first ever relationship with a girl; the statistics say they shouldn't be as in love as they are, but the truth is they _are_. Maggie holds Mike and smiles so softly at him it's like she's yearning, and Alex gazes at Maggie in the same way. They're both strong people, stubborn and ragged around the edges, but they just _melt_ for each other and Kara's not sure how she hasn't seen this before.

It starts when Maggie goes to pick up Mike from his bassinet when he wakes up. Kara is grateful for the help, because she's dead tired today and besides, Alex brought pizza! So she immediately takes a slice, stuffing it into her mouth, when she hears:

"Don't get too attached, Sawyer. You know you can't take him home, right?"

Maggie chuckles. "Damn, Danvers, you sure aren't going to be aunt of the year," she teases, and she sits down next to Alex on the couch with Mike in her arms.

"Hey, I love the little guy," Alex defends herself, placing her chin on Maggie's shoulder as she smiles down at Mike. "He's just cuter than me. Makes him some tough competition."

"Mmm, I guess you're right. He _is_ cuter."

Alex pinches her side, and Maggie laughs. Kara stares at them for a while, at how comfortable they are. Mike looks like he belongs with them, the picture-perfect family tucked in with each other. Mike is even more awake than usual, blinking up at Maggie as she speaks to him in quiet Spanish.

Kara feels an odd feeling overtake her. It's not jealousy exactly, but it feels like it, a swirl of uncomfortableness in her chest. But it's not that they're together, because Kara loves that her sister is happy (even if it is hard having to share her sometimes). It's not even that Mike is so calm in Maggie's arms (though Kara would like to know how Maggie does it). It's more like Kara wants what they _have_ , but not exactly. She sort of wishes she already _had_ something like this, and that Mike had come later along the line. Something that would be easier than feeling so lonely all the time.

"Uh-oh, looks like he's trying to get to the goods," Maggie says as Mike turns his head towards Maggie's breasts.

Kara puts down her pizza and feigns annoyance. " _Mike_ ," she scolds as she hovers over Maggie, "you ate an hour ago! We are trying to set up a schedule here, mister."

Mike moves his head in the direction of Kara's voice, body wriggling excitedly as he recognizes it, his mouth making small sucking movements. Kara gently takes him from Maggie's arms, excusing herself to her room to feed him. She looks back at her sister and her girlfriend before she steps into the room, and she sees how they lean against each other so warmly—so comfortably—and she supposes she's missed human contact that isn't as small and sleepy as Mike.

"You love me, don't you Mike?" Kara asks Mike as she helps him latch onto her breast. He stares up at her and sucks, and really, it's not like he knows what she's saying, but it feels like he's judging her. Kara brushes his soft cheek with her thumb and sighs, the sound heavy in the room. "I love you. But you make me feel sad sometimes."

It makes no difference to him, of course, but Kara thinks about how undoubtedly in love Maggie and Alex are and she wonders if she'll ever get over this odd feeling of discontentment with her own life.


	3. my heart stops when you look at me

**sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out! it's been like over a month wow. i'd blame school but in reality i think it's the 349 other fics im working on lmao. anyway since supergirl is dead to me i think i'll stick to my alternate universe here and hopefully get the next chapter out quicker!**

 **and once again, i cannot write babies. i promise there will be much more kara/lena/mike interactions as he gets older, because friends to lovers is my shit and also there will be plenty of tropes that i plan to use...so get ready for some cliche stuff.**

* * *

"My mom's hosting a party this weekend."

Adam drops the news casually, just as he's spooning rice into two plates for dinner. Kara is spread out on the living room floor by Mike, both of them on their stomachs as she tries to get him to lift his head up by himself. It hasn't been working so far, though he keeps turning his head sideways and making small snuffling noises in Kara's face.

"She emailed me about it," Kara says to Adam, which is only half-true. Ms. Grant _did_ send her an email about it, but not so much as "I'm having a party and I'd like you to come"; it was more like "Kiera show up at this place at this time and dress _nicely_ for God's sake don't you dare be late."

"Yeah, she likes to show off whenever someone important moves into town," says Adam, shaking his head as he places both plates on the table. "I was wondering if you'd go with me."

Kara scrambles into a sitting position, glasses awkwardly shifting off her nose as she stares questioningly at Adam. Mike, at the loss of his mother's familiar face, tries to move his head to follow her movement but only succeeds in smushing his face into the stack of blankets he's laid over.

Adam seems to sense the question on Kara's lips, because he's quick to clarify, "Not as a date. It's just, I don't want to go if you can't. So I thought we could go together."

"I don't know," Kara says hesitantly, picking up Mike when he makes a distressed sound. "We'd have to take Mike, and it'll be cold, and he's really not old enough..."

"We don't have to go, then," Adam offers, good-natured as he takes two spoons out of the kitchen drawer. "Dinner's ready, if Mike doesn't need to eat."

Kara sets Mike down in his portable bassinet, the one they use to move him around during the day, before she continues, "I don't want to stop you from going though. I mean, it's your mom's party."

"Yeah, but she holds parties all the time." Adam shrugs. "She'll understand."

Kara's not so sure about that. Cat Grant, media mogul who once fired a woman for looking "early 2000s in a 2016 office," doesn't reason for anyone. Adam may be the exception—after a long, onset media scandal in which Ms. Grant formally introduced her son into her life—but even then Kara knows that can't last long.

"Maybe if we keep him in a stroller with a lot of blankets," Kara gives in, of course, because Ms. Grant is _Ms. Grant_ and no one says no to Ms. Grant without facing repercussions sooner or later. "And don't let anyone besides us carry him. Right?"

"It's your call," Adam says, but it's clear his eyes are smiling. "I can call my mom and let her know we'll go after all."

"Okay." Kara smiles, weakly, as Adam disappears into his bedroom. Once he's gone, she looks down at Mike and sighs. "Your grandma is going to be the reason you die of an early flu."

(Mike sneezes, and if that's not a sign from the universe Kara doesn't know what is.)

.

.

.

"Are you sure you just don't want me to babysit Mike?" Alex asks as she sweeps Kara's hair up into a bun. "Maggie and I can stay at your apartment if it makes you feel better."

"No, it's okay," Kara says, pouting at her reflection in the mirror. "I wish I could, but we'll probably stay late and I haven't even tried to pump milk yet."

"Ah," Alex says around a mouth full of bobby pins. "Are you going to be able to open this dress easily enough to feed him?"

"Yup! Look, it has a zipper down the front. Isn't that cool?"

Alex purses her lips. "It kind of looks like a stripper dress."

"Hey!"

Alex ducks out of Kara's reach before her sister can elbow her. "There," she says, brushing down the small strands of hair styled to look like they've fallen from Kara's otherwise immaculate bun. "You look great."

Kara leans into her sister's side and sighs as Alex's hands smooth over her shoulders. "Thank you for helping."

"You know I'll always be here when you need me," Alex says, somber but reassuring. "Besides, all I have to do is say I'm coming to your apartment and Maggie is shoving me in her car. I think she has a problem."

Kara giggles. "Then we'd better go check on your girlfriend," she suggests, linking her fingers with Alex's, "and make sure she isn't stealing my baby."

They find Maggie and Mike spread out on their stomachs, laying on the blankets that seem to permanently reside on the living room floor. Mike is in his little faux-suit onesie (Kara's idea) that Maggie must have dressed him in. Mike is valiant in his effort of keeping his head up, eyes fixating on Maggie's wide grin every time she tries to make eye contact.

"Aw, Mike!" Kara coos. "You look so cute!"

Mike hears his mother's voice and tries to turns his head; he only ends up startling himself as his face sinks into the blankets, confusedly turning back to stare at Maggie. Maggie cracks up, and Mike only startles further at the sound; Kara ducks down and picks him up with a small laugh of her own.

"C'mere, baby," Kara says, sure to lock eyes with Mike and smile as he makes an excited noise at the sensation of being lifted. "Let's get you fed before Daddy gets here, okay? We're going to go see grandma! Aren't you excited?"

"Whoa," Alex cuts in, both curious and in awe, "does Cat let you call her that?"

Kara hesitates. "I...haven't tried saying it around her?" she offers lamely. "I'm afraid of what she'll do."

Maggie snickers, rolling over onto her back. "Oh man, good luck," she says, pressing her hand to her forehead in her fit of laughter. "You're gonna need it."

Kara scowls. "You're not invited here anymore," she grumbles. Mike makes a small noise as if in agreement, but then he starts rubbing his face against Kara's dress and puckering his mouth, so he's really just hungry. Figures.

"Is Adam driving you there?" Alex asks as Kara sits on the couch to feed Mike, helping to unzip her dress as Kara gets him situated.

"Oh yeah, he is! He's just been at the venue all day, helping out," Kara explains. "He'll be here soon."

"Then I guess that's our cue to go," Maggie says, getting up off the floor and reaching into her pocket for her keys. "Your sister still wants to fight him, I think."

"Hey, I said I wanted to talk to him."

"Right, you say 'talk' and I hear 'I want to put gun to his crotch'." Maggie jingles her keys in Mike's face, because apparently she's not at all put off by the fact that she's two feet away from her girlfriend's sister's exposed boob. "I, for one, would like to avoid the police."

Alex rolls her eyes, fond but exasperated. "You are the police," she says, and she pulls Maggie's free hand into hers to pull her away from the couch. "I guess we will go, Kara. Are you sure you don't need us to stick around? Maybe even give you a ride?"

"No, you guys go home," Kara says, waving them off with the hand that isn't supporting Mike. "We'll be just fine on our own, won't we Mike?"

(They are, in fact, not fine on their own.)

Adam is very, very late. He won't answer his phone either, and Kara would be worried if she didn't know Cat Grant and her tendency to persuade people (and she suspects Cat's persuaded Adam to wait a bit longer until the press are satisfied). Kara picks at the edge of her dress and waits on the couch nonetheless, mentally going through the pros and cons of calling Alex to pick her up as Mike sleeps in the bassinet beside her.

Kara removes her heels an hour later. Then she wakes up Mike to feed him. And then she walks around with him, his front pressed to her chest and his body small but solid as she pats his back to burp him. (But she puts a cloth over her shoulder, because lately he's been spitting up.)

"See that, Mike?" she whispers into his soft hair, which smells like the baby shampoo she showered him with this morning. "It's nighttime. Which means you should be sleeping."

Mike's head is still jerky in its movements; he nudges his face into Kara's collarbone instead of facing the balcony window like Kara is angling him. He makes a small, dissatisfied noise at his own discomfort and Kara would laugh if she weren't more preoccupied with fixing his position.

"I'd turn off the lights," Kara murmurs, shifting him so his face is angled over her shoulder, "but we're supposed to stay up until your daddy gets back. I wonder where he is, hmm? Have any guesses?"

Mike's response is to burp soundly. And then spit up a little.

"Aw, Mike," Kara says, gently wiping his mouth with the edge of the cloth over her shoulder. "Don't spit out your food."

She waits a little longer, to see if she can coax another burp out of him, but he seems wide awake so she sits down with him and tries to play with him a bit. He doesn't seem very interested in the stuffed animals she waves in his face, though; his eyes never fix on any of them, and instead he keeps looking up at Kara's face. Even then, his eyes only lock with Kara's for a few seconds before he starts squirming and looking nowhere and everywhere all at once.

A knock distracts Kara from bringing out Mike's favorite toy (the red stuffed elephant Maggie got him that he seems to actually stare at), and Kara huffs out _finally_ and gets up. She's so preoccupied getting the stroller into place and setting Mike down that she forgets the most crucial information yet—that Adam has, well, a _key_.

So when she flings open the door, the first thing out of her mouth is, "Where have you _been_?"

But it's only James, and he raises his hands up in mock surrender. "Whoa," he jokes, "where's the fire?"

Kara deflates. "James?" she says nonetheless, taking note of James's tux and the camera hanging around his neck. "What are you doing here?"

"Cat sent me to pick you up," he says. "She won't let Adam out of her sight."

"Well, why didn't he call?" Kara grumbles, leaving the door open as she turns to get her shoes on.

James steps inside, helpfully taking hold of the stroller handle. "The press is hounding him," he explains, hesitant in his words. "It's...kind of bad."

"How bad?" Kara isn't even thinking about why the press is after Adam in the first place. She's more concerned with fixing the straps on her heels, which are harder than she remembers.

"They know about Mike."

Kara stops. There are a million questions running through her head—mostly _how_ , and _why now_ , and _what do I do_ —but all that comes out is, "Oh no."

James just nods. "Cat's furious," he elaborates further. "This party was bait for the press to see how in touch she is with the city's elite, but now they're trying to make it into a scandal. And they keep throwing around the word 'grandma.' I think she'll have a stroke if someone tries to print the word."

(Okay, so the "grandma" thing is definitely off the table.)

"But," Kara says, shaking the thought, "how do the press know this? No one knows except for us and like, two people at Adam's work!"

"The press say they have a source at the hospital," James explains. "There's not telling if it's true or not. Either way, we need to get you there as soon as possible."

"Wha—what can I do?"

James only looks at her. And he's so, _so_ apologetic when he says, "Ready for your fifteen minutes of fame?"

.

.

.

It's chilly outside, and Kara wishes she'd brought a jacket. She would take one of Mike's spare blankets to wrap around her shoulders, but alas, the press lingering by the doors seem to zero in on the stroller and a picture of Kara with a baby blanket instead of a sweater on the internet would be something Alex would never let her live down. So she tries to brave it, mechanically striding forward as she pushes the stroller, trying to ignore the camera flashes and questions being thrown around.

James is an absolute hero, doing his best to shield Kara from the cameras and even responding to the paparazzi with curt "no comment"s; Kara feels immensely grateful that it's James by her side now and not Adam. James speaks to one of the security guards, flashing some press pass that shows he has ties with Catco and no other network, before he and Kara are allowed in.

Adam catches sight of them instantly, and he breaks away from a crow of people with notepads and cameras to meet them halfway. "Kara, thanks for coming," he says in obvious relief, peering into the stroller. "Is he asleep?"

"Yeah, he fell asleep before we left, so—" Kara stops, and then frowns and punches his arm. "Hey! Thanks a lot for not calling me."

"Whoa, jeez, you hit hard."

"Oh. Sorry."

Adam rubs his arm, but doesn't seem too affected otherwise. "I'm really sorry I didn't answer your calls," he apologizes. "There have been reporters following me everywhere."

"Well, what are we doing? What's the plan?" Kara asks, and she looks at James first before she realizes Adam starts to speak.

"We're not going to say anything. We're just going to mingle with guests and pretend the press isn't here, unless they ask questions about anything else but Mike or our relationship. Tomorrow, Catco magazine is going to drop an exclusive on me and our son, but we're going to do our best to distance your name from us if you want."

"Distance?" Kara echoes.

Adam doesn't miss the questioning tone. "Not because you're not—I mean, I wouldn't be ashamed or anything," he hurries to add. "I just don't want you to be tied to my image if you date anytime soon. The best thing we can do is present as two co-parents, and hopefully this will blow over quick."

"Right, that sounds okay." Kara pushes her glasses up nervously, eyes darting around the ballroom-like hall Cat has booked for the evening. Various press people seem to zero in on her, and she swallows. Hard. But she has to play this like she would any other of Cat Grant's parties. So, "Where's the food? I'm _starving_."

If there's one silver lining to this night, it's the crab puffs that Kara nearly eats a whole tray of. Adam sticks by the stroller and talks to people—probably people Cat knows, who flock around him to see the sleeping baby—while Kara tries to do a little walking around of her own (all the while catching the passing caterers who have so many different dishes).

Ms. Grant pulls her away from the press half an hour in, and it's almost literally; Cat catches Kara's arm in a vice grip, yanking her out of the direction of an oncoming camera flash of what might've otherwise resulted in an unflattering picture of Kara mid-bite.

" _Kiera_ ," Cat says through gritted teeth, "have I taught you nothing? Never let your guard down when you're in the spotlight."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Grant!" Kara says as she nearly trips over her own feet, following Cat as the aforementioned woman nearly drags her somewhere. (Kara also silently bemoans that her crab puff has met its untimely death on the floor.)

Cat ignores the apology, instead righting Kara and pushing her forward to where two people are conversing. Both of them look up at the commotion, and Kara gasps. Is that—

"Lena! Hi!" Kara exclaims, hands falling to her side as Cat takes a spot beside her. "I didn't know you'd be here!"

Lena looks visibly taken aback, faltering back slightly as she takes in both Cat and Kara. "Kara," she says. "Of course. I take it you're here with Ms. Grant's son?"

"Well...yes?" Kara says, brow furrowing at how strangely Lena seems to digest the information, at the way Lena's jaw clenches just a bit.

Cat clears her throat. "Kiera," she says sharply, "you didn't tell me you knew Lena Luthor."

 _Luthor_. The name sounds familiar. But Kara doesn't dwell on it too long, because Cat goes on.

"Should I assume you've met her brother, too?"

The man standing beside Lena leans forward, offering his hand to Kara. "Lex Luthor," he introduces himself. "And no, Ms. Grant, I haven't had the pleasure. Would you look at that, my sister is more sociable than I am!"

"Hardly," Lena says, rolling her eyes good-naturedly as she lightly pushes into Lex's side. "Kara and I live next to each other."

Kara, for a second, dwells on the "sister" thing; Lex must be the brother Lena was talking about when they first met. And of course the last name sounds familiar. For months, Cat has been stressing about a company moving to National City that would gain a lot of public steam. By now, Kara's heard the name _Luthor Corp_ so many times it's come to her in dreams.

"Oh yes!" Lex snaps his fingers. "You're the future in-law of Ms. Grant's, right?"

Kara's eyes widen, and she turns to stare inquiringly at Cat, both aghast and terrified.

But Cat just tilts her head, and if she were any younger, Kara suspects she'd jut out her hip too. "I see the press have already chosen their headlines," she says dryly. "Rest assured, my son and Kara may live together—and they may be raising a child together—but don't expect us to ring any wedding bells."

"What a shame. I do love weddings," Lex says with a charming grin, raising his eyebrows at Lena exaggeratedly in what must be some inside joke. Lena looks almost flushed, her pale cheeks coloring pink as she brushes off her brother's comment.

"I'd better go drop a line to the press before they try to leave," Cat says, patting Kara's shoulder. "I just thought I'd introduce Kara. She's a great mother, you know."

Kara knows this is just Cat's way at seeming like she is a family-oriented businesswoman—just a hook to say "look, I have people that care what happens to me after hours"—but Kara can't help but feel a little flattered still, even if Cat wouldn't know if Kara were a good mother or not.

"Why don't I come with?" Lex suggests, throwing a wink at Lena as if confiding a secret. "I'd love to drop a line or two myself." Cat, charmed, lets herself be led away on his arm, already raising her head high with pride as the press seem to flock to the two of them.

It does mean Kara and Lena are left alone. And it feels...awkward. Lena feels like some part of Kara's life that was untouchable, the one person who didn't know about Kara's job or Mike or the severity of her broken relationship with Adam. All at once, it feels like an almost-friend has suddenly been pushed back into a stranger.

"So," Kara laughs awkwardly, if only to break the sudden silence, "you and your brother run the company then?"

Lena's eyes, which have been following her brother, snap back to meet Kara's. "You mean..."

"Luthor Corp," Kara clarifies. "I've heard great things about it."

"Ah." There's a small smile on Lena's lips, obviously pleased at the sentiment. "Lex is the acting CEO, actually. I'm formally the CFO, but I deal with anything that Lex wants me to."

Kara doesn't know what CFO stands for, but she nods along anyway. "Neat," she says brightly. "I'm just Ms. Grant's assistant. Not now obviously, because I'm staying home with Mike. But it was my job before I had him and I'm going to go back, so..." she trails off, the first time in the longest that her rambling hasn't increased, only because Lena is looking at her strangely. "What?"

Lena shakes her head. "It's nothing."

"It's okay, I know what you're thinking—it's _weird_ that I have a baby," Kara says, fiddling with the zipper of her dress. "Like, three other people have told me they can't imagine me as a mother. I don't know if I'm supposed to take it as a compliment."

"It's not that, it's—I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner," Lena says. "The walls aren't thin by any means, but I suspected you just woke up at strange hours."

"Oh no, do we keep you awake?" Kara asks, horrified, and Lena opens her mouth to reply, but suddenly a rather loud cry splits the air as Mike wakes up halfway across the room.

Adam picks up Mike, trying to soothe him, but then the cameras start flashing and he starts crying _louder_ and Kara's face falls. This is even worse than she could've imagined. She leaves Lena behind with a quick apology and hurries to get her son, ignoring the questions of the press and guests alike as Adam offers to lead Kara to the bathroom so she can feed Mike in some peace and quiet.

(Lena leaves the party early. Kara doesn't see her again that night.)

.

.

.

It still marvels her how much of a tiny person Mike is. Every time Kara bathes him and holds his wriggling wet body in her hands, every time she wipes at every inch of his skin, she feels love fill her chest in a way that can only be described as an overwhelming warmth. She's in love with every bit of him; his arms and legs that seem to get chubbier every day, his dark eyes that blink up at her and follow her face, his little fingernails and toes and the soft fuzz of his blonde hair that seems to get darker every day.

Mike is unusually awake tonight as Kara towels off his body, pressing kisses to his feet, to his stomach, to his forehead. Even after she dresses him into some warm pajamas, his eyes stay open, making small sniffling noises with his nose as Kara tries to put him to bed.

"It's night time, Mike, so that means it's beddie-bye time," Kara says quietly, rocking him in the darkness of her room on the rocking chair Maggie gave her a few weeks ago (and that Kara couldn't bring herself to turn away, no matter how old it made her feel at the moment).

Even in the darkness, Mike can't seem to close his eyes. He's going to be a very stubborn little boy, Kara thinks, and she tries to sing to him, some quiet lullaby she's heard Eliza sing to him whenever she's around. Kara doesn't remember her birth mother, but she likes to imagine she sang to her, too. It's nice to think about.

Someone knocks at the door. Kara knows it's not Adam; he's out on a business trip for the next two weeks. Kara sets Mike down in his bassinet with a sigh. If Alex has finally checked her texts and has brought dinner, Kara might forgive that she's an hour late. She shuts the door gently behind her, to make sure the light doesn't creep into her room. Then she turns on the living room light, taking off her glasses with a sigh as she flings the door open.

The blurry figure in her doorway is decidedly _not_ Alex. Alex isn't that short. Nor does she have such dark, long hair, or wear dresses on everyday occasions (and certainly not to Kara's house).

"I'm sorry to drop in on you like this," says the figure, and _oh_ , it's Lena.

"Lena?" Kara says, scrambling to put her glasses back on. With her vision clearer, it's easier to see the apologetic crease of Lena's brow; easier to see the nervous way Lena shifts her bag over her shoulder. "Hi! Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it just seems that I've, well, locked myself out of my apartment," Lena replies. "Lex keeps my spare key and he's working late, or else I'd wait for him outside..."

"Oh! Well, you're welcome to wait for him here," Kara says, throwing open her door.

"Thank you." Lena smiles, relieved, and moves inside as Kara locks up behind her. "I'm sorry to disrupt you and...Adam, right?"

"Adam's not here, so it's fine," Kara says. "Make yourself at home!" she adds when she sees Lena's reluctance to sit down; Lena lingers by the door, unsure of whether or not to sit down or not. "Can I get you some water?"

"No, that's alright." Lena sits down on the couch with a sigh, bending over to remove her high heels. "Thank you, though."

"Okay. Um, if it's okay with you, I'm going to get Mike."

Something like panic flits over Lena's face. "Your son?"

"Yeah, he's supposed to be sleeping, but he's very stubborn tonight," Kara says cheerfully. "You haven't met him yet, have you? I noticed you left Ms. Grant's party early."

"I had to do some work," Lena explains, not quite meeting Kara's eye. "It was a lovely party, though."

Kara nods even if Lena doesn't seem to notice, sensing that Lena doesn't want to say anything else about it. She heads back into her room to get Mike, finding him wide awake when she leans over the bassinet. This is going to ruin any chance of him falling asleep, the transition from utter darkness to the light of the living room. But at the same time, it'd be rude _not_ to take him out when Lena's there; Kara can't leave a guest alone.

Mike blinks uncomfortably when Kara carries him out, but doesn't seem otherwise bothered; he doesn't even cry, which is a miracle because he seems to be crying a lot more than usual.

"Lena, this is Mike," Kara says proudly, taking a seat beside Lena on the couch and angling Mike to face the woman in question.

Lena reaches out hesitantly, her fingertips grazing Mike's shoulder. "He's adorable," she says after a moment, and she smiles again, small but genuine. "How old is he?"

"Just a month, and then some," Kara says, watching as Lena's eyes seem to grow softer and warmer as Mike stares right back. "Gosh, I don't think I've ever seen him make this much eye contact. He must really like your eyes."

Lena gets bolder, tracing the edge of Mike's chin with her finger, smile only growing as he shudders and ducks his face into Kara's shoulder. "He has nice eyes," she says.

"That's all Adam, I think." Kara shrugs, coaxing Mike's face back up. "Do you want to hold him?"

Lena falters, hand falling back to her lap. "I'm not sure if I..." she trails off helplessly, and Kara's heart hurts at the obvious worry on Lena's face.

"Here, I'll help you," Kara says. "You can cradle him if you want."

She places her hand gently over Mike's neck to support his head as she lifts him off her shoulder, cradling him in her own arms before raising him over Lena's arm. Lena tentatively mirrors Kara's position, and Kara lays Mike down, careful to push Lena's arms close enough so Mike's head is supported.

"He's so light," Lena marvels. "And so...small." There's obvious wonder in Lena's voice when she gazes down at him, then back up at Kara, smiling in a way that's still anxious but much more subdued than before. "God, I don't remember the last time I even got this close to a baby."

"Don't worry, Mike's honored," Kara jokes, and when Lena's smile only grows, Kara realizes she's still holding Lena's arms. She quickly lets go, and a warm prickle of embarrassment makes her flush. She doesn't even know _why_ she's embarrassed. It's not like Lena said anything about it, but...well, Lena's eyes are really green when they're so close and her hair looks soft and she smells nice and—

"So you work for Cat Grant," Lena says, an easy shift in topic; it says _let's start over_ in regards to Ms. Grant's party, and Kara has never felt warmer in that moment. "How is that?"

"Oh gosh...how late did you say your brother was going to be? This might take all night," says Kara with a shake of her head.

Lena laughs, quietly. "That bad?"

"Not bad, exactly. But it's definitely something else," Kara says, and there's honestly so much she can say—that Ms. Grant is demanding, that Kara is the longest assistant she's ever kept, that sometimes it's hard to remember not to take it too personally when Ms. Grant fires another of Kara's friends—but she isn't sure where to start.

Lena leans back against the couch. "Come on," she says, corners of her eyes crinkling, "you're going to have to give me more than that."

(And Kara thinks, for the first time in a while, that this is what hope feels like.)

* * *

 **anyways you can find me over at djsugar on tumblr if you want to talk to me about supergirl, this fic, or how beautiful jaina lee ortiz is**


	4. you make me feel this way somehow

**im back home for spring break and i got to see two (2) babies so my entire trip back was worth it! sorry, again, for the wait for this chapter. it's moving slowly but surely from here on out! i don't intend kara's self-realization arc (aka where she realizes shes such a gay bi) to last that long tbh, this has never been that kind of story. it's more of a meaningless fluff sort of thing with random new-mom angst, which is clearly shown here in this one so /**

* * *

Adam's business trip is delayed another two weeks.

At first, Kara shrugs it off. It means Adam is going to miss Mike's second scheduled doctor visit (and his first vaccination shots), but otherwise, Kara manages just fine when Adam isn't there. Kara instead asks Alex to come with her, which Alex readily agrees to. Alex makes sure Kara knows she's offended Adam was going in the first place, which makes Kara laugh; she feels better, knowing Alex will be there for her no matter what.

But fast forward a week, and then Maggie gets hurt.

"She was shot at," Alex relays to Kara over the phone, half-worried and half-annoyed. (Kara faintly hears Maggie yell in the background that _it's not that serious_ , of course.) "It was just a graze, but she came home yesterday without getting it checked out and now it looks infected."

"Oh, ew." Kara crinkles her nose. "You're taking her to the hospital, right?"

"Yes, but...it means I can't come with you to Mike's appointment," says Alex, contrite. "I'm so sorry, Kara."

"Hey, no, that's okay!" Kara feels disappointment hit her anyways, but she tries to smile, because she's hovering over Mike and he's just begun to start smiling back at people. "Go and take Maggie. I'll just go by myself."

"Have you tried James or Winn? Maybe they can go with you."

"Yeah, maybe. I'll call them," Kara promises, smiling much more genuinely as Mike starts making small, soft noises that's not quite babbling—he's definitely not old enough—but it's like he's trying to hold conversation nonetheless. "Now go make sure Maggie's okay."

"Thanks, Kara. Say hi to Mike for me," Alex says, and hangs up after Kara echoes the goodbye.

Kara pouts down at Mike. "Aunt Alex can't come with us today, baby," she sighs, but Mike doesn't seem to notice the shift in atmosphere.

He seems satisfied laid out on his back, baby gym over him, as he bats at the toys hanging just in reach. He even hits one or two, though that's more luck than anything else. Kara drops a kiss to his forehead and stands up, keeping an eye on Mike as she sits on the couch instead.

It's moments like this where Kara misses having Adam around to help. She doesn't think it will be hard to get Mike to and from his appointment or anything like that, but—well, Kara has a rather big fear of needles. And she doesn't want to go into a hospital room alone and have to watch them inject her baby without some support. (She'd kind of hoped she could turn her back for that part.)

Kara thinks of trying James or Winn, but doesn't move to dial yet. Instead, she looks at her phone and at Lena's name in her contacts and wonders if maybe—no. No, she's likely busy. Lena probably doesn't even have weekends off, nor would she want to go to a hospital. They've been friends for such a short time; why would Lena want to do something like tag along to a vaccination appointment?

But Kara's fingers betray her, and she's dialing before she realizes it. Worse, Lena _answers_.

"Hello?" Lena says, distant as if unaware of who's on the other line. And maybe she is, because Kara's never called before; she's only ever texted.

Kara swallows, inexplicably nervous. "Lena?"

A pause. "Kara?" Lena's voice comes back stronger. And obviously surprised. "Did we have plans?"

"Oh no, it's—I was wondering if you were busy today," Kara says.

"No, not really," Lena replies, though Kara can hear the sound of shifting papers on the other line that would indicate otherwise. "I'm just looking over some numbers, but it can wait."

Kara feels her stomach twist. She doesn't know how to ask. She doesn't even know if friends _do_ this. She has half a mind to just ask Lena to meet her afterward for ice cream or something, but her mouth and her brain need to have a serious heart-to-heart soon because what happens is she blurts out,

"Do you want to go to the hospital with me?"

The papers stop ruffling. "Are you hurt?" Lena asks worriedly, and Kara can hear the squeak of a chair, as if Lena's just stood up from her desk.

"No! No, not me. Or not anyone. Mike has a doctor's appointment, that's all, and Adam's not here and I was wondering if you'd...come. But you're obviously at work, so um, forget I asked?"

"I'm not at work, I'm at home," says Lena before she pauses, then finishes tentatively, "Is it—is it alright if I come over?"

Kara's eyes widen. "Yeah, sure, but you don't have t—"

"Perfect. See you in ten minutes." Lena hangs up without another word.

Kara blinks, then gets off the couch and drops down on her knees by Mike. He startles at the sudden sensory overload and turns his head to stare unblinkingly up at her, wriggling his legs just the slightest.

"Sorry Mike," Kara says, pushing one of the hanging toys to redirect his attention to the display instead. "Mommy didn't mean to scare you." She plays with him for a while until the doorbell rings, and then she hesitantly picks him up to go answer it.

(She knows it's Lena, but somehow her stomach gets this weird fluttery feeling at the thought anyway.)

Lena is certainly dressed like she is supposed to be at work, hair up in a perfect ponytail and lipstick perfectly applied as if she's spent hours getting ready rather than a few minutes. She's also wearing heels and a skirt and white shirt combo that really should be overplayed but isn't; today, the shirt's buttons are undone masterfully at the top, and she wears a long, beige coat to cover it.

Lena smiles at the sight of Mike. She hasn't warmed up to carrying him much, but she—like most people—has seemingly fallen head over heels for his cute face. She's spent a lot of time with Kara while Adam has been gone, and Mike doesn't recognize her yet, but he smiles back and that's good enough for Lena.

"So," Lena says, eyes darting up to Kara expectantly, "when do we leave?" She says it with such confidence, such unquestioned comfort, as if they've been friends for years instead of about a month.

Kara feels instantly aware of the sweatpants and loose T-shirt she's wearing, even though she knows Lena has seen her like this before and it's no big deal (but it feels like it is). "You really don't have to come if you have stuff to do," she says, feeling instantly guilty she doesn't want to do this alone. She should be fine to. Single mothers have to do everything alone, and yet Kara can't even muster up the courage to watch her baby get a shot.

"Nonsense. I'd love to come." Lena raises her eyebrows until Kara gets the hint: that's right, she's supposed to let her in.

"Well, thank you," Kara says, shoulders sagging finally at the relief that floods her; she's so grateful she doesn't know where to begin. "Just let me go feed Mike and get ready."

Lena sits down at the couch without any reluctance this time around, and Kara feels that fluttery feeling again. It's not pride, exactly, that she and Lena are close enough friends that Lena feels comfortable at Kara's apartment, but it feels a lot like it.

And it's not a _bad_ feeling, that's for sure.

.

.

.

The anxiety lies heavily in Kara's stomach right from the moment the pediatrician comes in.

"Ms. Danvers, always a pleasure to see you," says Dr. Vasquez in that curt, no-nonsense way of hers that tends to make most parents wonder if she's in the right field. (Kara knows the doctor's a softie at heart and she aims to show it someday.) "No Mr. Foster?"

"No, he's out on work-related business. I brought my friend Lena, though," Kara says, gesturing to the woman in question.

"Well, the more the merrier," Dr. Vasquez says in a way that implies the opposite; she eyes Lena warily before she gestures to the car seat that Mike is still strapped in. "Get that baby undressed, and we can get started. I'll start by going through some routine tests first, and then we'll go over how he's doing at home."

Kara obliges, stripping Mike down to just his diaper before helping Dr. Vasquez by holding him up as the doctor checks his heart rythm and breathing pattern. Next come his eyes, ears, and mouth; Mike blissfully stays quiet as Dr. Vasquez checks him, eyes fixated on Lena who hovers by the doctor and helpfully tries to distract him by waving the toy Kara had brought along.

Mike is laid gently out on the exam table when Dr. Vasquez deems everything else alright. Now, she checks his head shape, his reflexes, his legs and hips, his genitalia. Kara is the one hovering, now; Lena steps back to give her room, but stays close enough that if Kara were to step back she'd probably end up pressed against Lena's chest.

"He's in good shape," Dr. Vasquez says. "How is he sleeping?"

"Better, now. He sleeps a little longer in the night, and less in the day. He still wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes, but he's getting better with a schedule."

"Good. How often does he eat?"

"Um. Mostly every three hours, but once in a while he wants to eat an hour earlier? Not often, though."

"How are his neck muscles? Is he strong enough to hold his head up when he's on his stomach?"

"Yes! He's been practicing a lot. He's very good."

"How are his bowel movements?"

For the next ten minutes, Kara answers the quick-fire questions the doctor asks with only a tinge of panic in her voice. She can't help that she's so _jumpy_ , nervous enough that one might think _she's_ the one getting a shot. (She's so jumpy, in fact, that she nearly elbows Lena in the face when Lena tries to rest a reassuring hand on Kara's arm.)

Dr. Vasquez finally finishes up the questions with a satisfied nod, only pausing to weigh and measure Mike and jot down the numbers on a sheet that, she explains, they'll use to document his growth.

"Eleven pounds, twenty-two inches," Dr. Vasquez says to Mike, pressing a finger to his bare chest and appraising him with a fond look in her eyes (she's totally a softie). "Not bad, little one." To Kara, she says, "A nurse will be here shortly to administer the vaccines, so you may pick him up for now. I'll see you back here in two months, I assume?"

"Yes, thank you, doctor," Kara says, picking Mike up and pushing her cheek against the top of his head. He squirms under her slightly clammy touch, his naked body only accustomed to a warmth her hands lack right now. But Kara doesn't relax her hold even after the doctor has left, her heart pounding when she realizes she doesn't want to let go.

"Kara?" Lena says softly, her hand slowly coming to rest on Kara's elbow. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." Kara inhales deeply, ashamed that her chest shakes. "Is it—is it okay to be scared?"

"It's okay to be scared," Lena promises, her other hand coming to grip Kara's other elbow so she can thumb Kara's arms comfortingly.

"It's just a few shots. Lots of people get shots. I've gotten shots," Kara says, and maybe she's rambling now, but it feels good to rush these words out. "But he's so small and—what if something goes wrong? He could be allergic. What if he's allergic?"

Lena's hands falter. It seems she doesn't know how to respond to that. But Kara doesn't even have a chance to apologize that Lena doesn't know anything about babies—hasn't researched vaccines and needles and allergies extensively like Kara has—and likely is more out of place than Kara is, because the nurse comes in.

"Ah, so this must be Mike Foster," the nurse says when she spots Mike. She's carrying a bag that Kara tries not to look at (but fails), and she slips on a pair of gloves from said bag a second later. "Alright mommy, I'm going to need you to sit up on the exam table with Mike in your lap. Hold him real close, okay?"

Kara shakily steps away from Lena, trying to even her breathing in hope that it might level her heart rate, but it only worsens as the nurse prepares the first syringe.

The nurse seems to finally take note of Kara's reluctance. "If you'd prefer, you can lay him down on the exam table," she offers, clearly used to anxious parents.

"Yes. Right." But Kara doesn't move. She feels rooted in her spot, feels the fear wash over her from head to toe, feels her skin hot and itchy as she helplessly holds onto Mike like he's a lifeline.

The nurse looks sympathetic, at least. "It's okay to be nervous, hon," she says. Her eyes flicker to Lena, who stands hesitantly by Kara's side like a fish out of water. "Mommy number two, want to step in?"

Lena's eyes widen. "Me? Oh, I'm not—" She jerks her head in Kara's direction, words dying awkwardly on her lips as her cheeks color pink.

Kara feels the hot embarrassment climb up the back of her neck. It seems Lena never gets a break of awkward moments when it comes to Kara's life.

"She's just a friend," Kara clarifies, and what _should_ be a confident, normal statement comes out weak and croaky. Her and _Lena_? That's unfathomable. Lena is rich and powerful and really pretty and Kara is just _Kara_ and also—Kara's straight, that's a pretty important factor that she should've thought of first—

"I'm sorry, I just assumed," the nurse says, nonplussed at the two blushing women before her. "Well, how about we give her a go at it anyway?"

Kara swivels her head to look at Lena. The other girl looks thrown at the implication of the nurse's words, and rightly so; Kara feels like the world's biggest idiot. _Who takes their new friend to a hospital_? (Alex is going to laugh her ass off.) It's a wonder Lena doesn't just excuse herself and leave at this point, honestly—oh God, and now she's _talking_.

"Kara, would you be okay with that?" Lena questions softly.

It takes a moment for the words to register. "Gosh, no, I couldn't ask you to do that!" Kara cries, mortified. "I can do it. I'm—I'm okay."

"Kara." Lena's voice holds no judgment, and her hand comes to rest on Mike's bare back. "I would love to help, if you'd let me."

So Kara shakily nods her head, and Lena sits up on the exam table so Kara can set Mike down in her arms. Lena looks a little stiff, so the nurse clicks her tongue and orders her to relax.

"Mike needs to feel comfortable. Helps ease the pain," the nurse says. "Cuddle him, okay?"

Lena relaxes only slightly, staring firmly at Mike in her lap and holding his arms together as the nurse instructs. Kara chews on her fingernail and tries not to stare, heart lodged in her throat, until the nurse gently touches Kara's arm and tells her it's okay if she doesn't watch.

Kara turns around and squeezes her eyes shut. She can hear Lena faintly whispering to Mike—something calming, maybe in another language—as the nurse announces the first shot. Mike's cries fill the room a second later and Kara's heart _breaks_ , but she digs her nails into her palms and stays turned around until the nurse announces the next shot.

"Okay, we're all done!" the nurse says cheerfully, and Kara finally opens her eyes. "I'll let you two comfort him a bit by yourselves. I'll come by in about ten minutes, just to check if his body reacts negatively."

The door clicks shut behind the nurse and Kara shudders and finally turns back around. Lena looks visibly distraught at Mike's crying, unsure of what to do, and all Kara can do is pick him up and hold him so, so close. Tears prick the back of her eyes as she rubs soothing circles on Mike's back, letting him slowly calm down as she tries to whisper soothing words of her own.

Then Lena catches her eye. Kara shakes and cries like a mess and says, tearfully, "Thank you so much."

Lena's eyes soften. "Of course," she says, and she gets off the exam table, hovering by Kara and Mike uncertainly before settling for placing a hand over Kara's, the one that rests right on Mike's back.

(They stay like that, long after Mike's stopped crying, until the nurse comes back.)

.

.

.

Mike gets sick a day later.

Kara calls Dr. Vasquez in a frantic, one A.M. decision that Dr. Vasquez surely resents her for, and calmly tells Kara that a slight fever is a common side effect of vaccinations and that it means they're working. Kara asks her a million questions until Dr. Vasquez sharply informs her that the office opens at eight and if Kara would like, she may call again at that time.

Kara calls Eliza next, but she doesn't answer. So her next best option is to call Alex, though she is only next best not because she is knowledgable about such things, but because Alex can come over without question and Kara can't do this alone.

Alex is at Kara's door in ten minutes, hair tousled and yawn hiding behind her hand, and Kara nearly faints out of sheer relief.

"Hey," Alex says, blinking the sleep from her eyes. "So what's the verdict?"

The baby monitor on the living room table lets both of them know the state Mike is in: the insistent crying hasn't stopped since Kara left him in his bassinet to answer the door.

But Kara tells her anyway. "He's fussy," she bemoans worriedly, "and he's warm and he won't eat."

"Okay. What can we do?"

They use some of the suggestions Dr. Vasquez had left; they press a warm compress to the area where the shots were administered, in case it's tender. They redress him in lighter clothes and wipe his forehead with a cool towel and try, with no success, to get him to eat.

He won't stop crying no matter what. Even when Kara tries to feed him, he turns his face away from her breast and screams and screams until Alex plucks him out of Kara's arms and tries to walk around the empty room with him. Kara is absolutely exhausted by the time three in the morning rolls around, when she changes his diaper and winces as he cries harder when she accidentally touches his hurting leg.

"Mom won't pick up," Alex says from the floor, half-asleep and mumbling into her phone. "What now?"

Kara bites her lip and finishes up, pressing a kiss to his warm forehead and gently angling him so her arms don't brush the inflamed part of his leg. "The doctor said we could try medicine," she says. "Infant tylenol."

Alex is already up off the floor. "I'll go get it," she says, rubbing her eyes. "Shit, wait, I'm in my pajamas. Give me something to wear."

"You're taller than me," Kara says. "Try and see if you find anything."

While Alex scrounges up clothes, Kara sets Mike back down in his bassinet when his cries fall into nothing but sniffles and, eventually, even breathing; he's cried himself to sleep. Kara sinks down into her bed, facedown on the mattress, and tries to pretend she feels calmer than she really is.

Her phone buzzes just as Alex finds something to wear, stumbling around in the dark to get dressed. Kara checks her phone, praying that it's Eliza, but it's just a text message from Lena. Wait—a message from _Lena_?

.

 **Lena**

Is Mike ok? I heard him crying earlier.

 **Kara**

oh my gosh im soooo sorry he woke u up! hes sick

 **Lena**

Oh no! Do you need any help?

 **Kara**

my sister's here, but thank you! :) go back to sleep its too early!

 **Lena**

Ok. Let me know if you need any more help!

 **Kara**

thanks, i will :D

.

"Is that Mom?" Alex asks. "What'd she say?"

"Oh no, it's just Lena," Kara says, powering off the phone so the room is enveloped in absolute darkness again. "She could hear Mike crying."

"Lena, your neighbor?" Alex says questioningly. "The one who went with you to Mike's appointment?"

"Yes. She's so nice," Kara sighs. "I feel bad she lives next to me. Do you think she only tries to help me because we're neighbors? What if she doesn't even like me? Do you think she thinks we're friends?"

A pause. "Kara, it's too early for this. I'm going to Walmart," Alex says, shuffling out of the room. "Call me if you need anything else."

Kara texts Adam while Alex is gone, informing him of the latest developments. He hasn't replied to any of her texts yet, likely because he's asleep. It's not like he can do anything about Mike's fever, but Kara thinks if she were in his position she'd like to know at least.

Kara eventually leaves the room for the bathroom, where she hunts under the sink for the baby pack she'd gotten with the portable bassinet: a little bag with nail clippers, a bulb syringe, and a brush. She takes the bulb syringe and wonders if she should wake up Mike; she can hear his stuffy nose while he breathes. But at the same time she doesn't want him to lose any sleep, so instead she dozes off on her bed until the front door bangs open loudly and wakes her up.

The living room is too bright when Kara exits her bedroom, squinting at the blurry outline of Alex before she remembers to go and get her glasses. Alex is struggling to open the infant tylenol when Kara comes back, and Kara giggles.

"Your shirt's inside-out," Kara says, pinching the edge of the T-shirt, and Alex just glares.

"Trust me, I know," says Alex through gritted teeth. "Do you have any scissors?"

They wrestle the package open without scissors after all, and then they fall asleep on the couch, Alex with her inside-out shirt and Kara with her glasses still on. Until the baby monitor on the edge of the TV goes off, of course, and then Kara falls off the couch and Alex sleepily grabs for the medicine.

(It's going to be a _long_ night.)

.

.

.

Kara invites Lena over for game night a week later.

("I promise my friends are nice," she had sworn earlier that morning. It had been a spur-of-the-moment invite to be honest, but not one that Kara hadn't considered before; since Mike's appointment, there was no doubt in Kara's mind that she and Lena were friends and at that point it was a no-brainer.

"Sure, I'd love to come," Lena had agreed, but there had been an edge to her voice, some hesitance she had clearly been trying to hide. "I'm afraid I'm not very good at games, though."

"That's okay, neither is Mike," Kara had joked. "Well, it's the first time game night is held at my apartment, so—see you there at five?"

"Five. Got it," Lena had said, smiling faintly, and that had been the end of that.)

Kara doesn't know why it feels different, knowing Lena is going to finally (officially) meet her friends. There's a nagging voice in the back of her head that makes her nitpick at every thing she does in preparation for tonight. She cleans the living room at least three times even though Lena's seen it in its worse state; she calls Alex and asks her to bring the chips Lena likes; she even stresses over what to _wear_ as if she's going on a date.

Which she obviously isn't, because this is game night. And there's no one Kara particularly wants to go on a date with, anyway. So.

Kara eventually falls down on the couch with a groan, sweaty and tired and feeling as unprepared as she did this morning. Without work to occupy her mind, hosting game night feels like the biggest thing she's done since Mike was born. She hasn't even left this building since Cat's party; she feels more and more isolated from her friends every day, now that she's not working in the same building as them.

Mike grins a gaping, toothless smile when Kara looks down at him, and Kara breaks out into a smile herself. He's been blessedly quiet in his baby bouncer, even if the toy Kara had placed in his hand has long fallen to the floor; she picks it up and shakes it, watching as he blinks and directs his attention to the object.

"Look at the dolphin, Mike! Isn't it cute? It's blue, just like your pants," Kara says, letting him bat at it. "Blue is your daddy's favorite color, you know. He's coming back today. Are you excited?"

Mike coos and kicks his legs, and Kara's heart swells. For all the trouble he's given her, she could never regret him. He's undoubtedly the best thing in her life now, and that's not even to be debated; nothing makes her feel better than to see her son happy and well.

Kara lets his hand curl around her finger and she studies him, long and still sort of thin in a gangly way that makes him seem more fragile than he really is. He squirms and waves his fists, one still holding onto Kara's hand, as he dons the usual serious look he has when he's not smiling. But for someone who looks so serious, he sure can't stay that way; all it takes is for Kara to grin at him and he starts smiling right back.

Kara's phone buzzes with a reminder to order pizza. She lets go of Mike's hand and checks the time, frowning at how late it's gotten.

"Come on, Mommy needs to get dressed," Kara says, picking Mike up. Once he's back in his bassinet, she finally addresses the issue of what to wear.

She always dresses casually. Sometimes she even wears sweatpants. But today she feels full to the brim with a relentless, thrumming energy, and so maybe she puts a _little_ more effort in it tonight. As in, her-good-jeans-and-a-new-and-cute-shirt effort. And she maybe lets her hair down from her ponytail, but only because her hair tie broke and she conveniently can't find another.

Dressed and with the pizza on its way, Kara lifts Mike out of his bassinet to put him back in his baby bouncer while she turns on the TV and waits. Alex texts her a minute later that she and Maggie may be a little late, but promises to bring all the snacks she'd promised, so Kara doesn't fault her for it.

Lena shows up earliest; just as five hits, the doorbell rings. Kara keeps Mike in her line of sight as she jumps up to answer the door, grin already forming when she notices that it's Lena.

"Lena! Hey, come on in," Kara says brightly. "You beat all my friends here."

"Well, the traffic sure was awful, but I persevered," Lena jokes, letting her coat be taken as she steps into the familiar apartment. She goes to duck down by Mike, to press a lipsticked kiss to his soft hair, as Kara watches with a melting heart. Lena is just so _kind_ it's unreal; she's so taken with Mike, and it's adorable to see.

They sit on the couch to wait for the others, Kara switching the channel to a half-finished _Jurassic Park_ after offering Lena a glass of wine.

"I don't know why you picked this movie," Lena says a minute or two in, wrinkling her nose. "It's so violent."

"It's a classic," Kara replies. "And dinosaurs are cool."

Lena just shakes her head and places her arm up over the edge of the couch, tilting her head playfully in Kara's direction. "Oh sure, the dinosaurs are cool," she says, accusingly. "You told me once that you're afraid of geese."

"Hey! That was a secret," Kara gasps, leaning over the couch to address Mike whose baby bouncer rests right between their feet. "Don't listen to her Mike. Your mommy is fearless."

"Except when it comes to birds, it seems..." Lena trails off, tongue peeking out between the wide smile that pulls at her lips when Kara feigns offense.

Everyone else seems to come all at once after that. James and Winn show up first, James carrying a pack of beer while Winn trails after him petulantly.

"I brought refreshments for the rest of us, sorry Kara," James says, winking when Kara rolls her eyes at him. His eyes linger on Lena, then, and he leans forward to politely offer a hand. "You must be Lena, Kara's friend. I'm James."

"Yes, hi," Lena says, equally polite as she lowers the wine glass in her hand. "Kara has told me all about you."

"Hi, I'm here too, you remember me, right?" Winn interjects, brightening when he sees Lena. "Winn, not Ms. Grant's son. I just want to apologize over the whole first impression thing? Because I'm pretty sure I came off as kind of rude, but don't worry, it was mostly because I was thinking of Ms. Grant's _actual_ son. Anyway, Kara told me who you are and I just want to say that your work in electromagnetic technology is all kinds of amazing, your brother's company is truly going to do revolutionary things and that research article you wrote two months ago on nuclear power was truly—"

James clears his throat. "What he means, Ms. Luthor," he says, "is that he's sort of a big fan."

"That's—hey, you don't get to butt in, I was about to get to that part," Winn says, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

James sets down the beer in favor of sitting on Kara's other side, leaning in to whisper, "He's mad at me because I made him leave without his lucky tie. He's convinced we're going to lose every game tonight."

Kara laughs and leans into James's side as Winn keeps talking a mile a minute to Lena, who nods and sips her wine quite seriously, eyebrows already raised in interest on whatever subject Winn's chosen to ramble on about.

Alex and Maggie come in ten minutes later, Alex holding all snack bags in her arms and complaining when Maggie immediately goes over to Mike instead of helping.

"Sorry babe, I'm busy," Maggie says, picking Mike up as everyone else cracks up.

Alex is setting everything down when she catches sight of Lena, and there's a curious edge to her look; something guarded, something unsure, which Kara notices.

"So, hey!" Kara says nervously, rocketing to her feet. "You guys, meet Lena. She lives next door."

"Oh yeah, the Luthor." Maggie nods Lena's way. "It's nice to see you outside of magazine pictures. You would not believe how many guys at the precinct crush on you."

"That's Maggie," Kara tells Lena quickly, throwing her sister's girlfriend an accusatory look while Lena just nods back, slightly confused as to what to do with that tidbit of information. "And this is Alex, my sister."

"Nice to meet you, Lena," Alex says, guard still up as she extends her hand Lena's way. "Kara's very lucky to have a friend like you."

"Nice to meet you, too," Lena echoes, smile dropping slightly at the obvious scrutiny.

Kara looks between the two of them and frowns; she doesn't like this tension, not one bit, so she squeezes her arm around Alex's shoulders and says, "Pizza should be here soon! What game should we start off with? Charades?"

"I call James as my partner, even if he ruined all our chances of winning," Winn declares, taking Kara's spot on the couch to squeeze up next to his boyfriend.

Alex snorts. "I'm pretty sure your poor acting skills already do that, so..."

"Hey! I was a theatre kid, Danvers!"

Mike starts to fuss in Maggie's arms then, and Kara rushes to take him. "He's sleepy," she apologizes to no one in particular, though her cheeks flush when Lena looks at her understandingly. "I'll be right back."

Maggie takes a seat by Alex, turning her attention to Lena. "Hey Lena, why don't you go help Kara?" she suggests mischievously, ignoring the curious look Alex gives her. "I'm sure she could use a hand."

Before Kara can even protest, Lena sets her glass down and gracefully stands.

"Sure," she agrees, catching Kara's eye pointedly. Once she and Kara disappear into Kara's room—a place Lena has never been in, and Kara doesn't know why her cheeks are staying so warm—Kara finally explodes.

"I'm sorry, this is really overwhelming, isn't it?" Kara says helplessly. "I just really wanted them to meet you, but it's—it doesn't seem like it's going well." She turns away from Lena to get the pacifier hanging on Mike's bassinet to quiet him, unafraid to gauge Lena's reaction.

"It's alright, Kara," Lena chuckles, and if she truly is overwhelmed, she doesn't show it. "I think it's going just fine."

"You do?"

"Of course. Your friends are very nice," Lena says reassuringly. "But make no mistake, they're going to crush me at at whatever games you're bringing out."

"Hmm, I'm not sure about that," Kara retorts. "You have to be my partner, you know. I'm not about to admit defeat so easily."

"Oh, I have to be?" Lena smirks.

"I mean—if you want to be? You don't have to be but I assumed since you don't really know anyone else here and I think everyone is partnering up already anyway—"

Lena cuts her off with an amused, "Kara. I'd love to be your partner." And she places her hand on Kara's shoulder, eyes alit with so much fondness that Kara feels dizzy. When did they get so close? And why has Kara never noticed just how _green_ Lena's eyes are? They're really pretty eyes. Objectively.

Mike chooses that moment to spit out his pacifier and whine loudly, squirming in Kara's arms so suddenly he nearly falls out. Luckily Lena is close enough to grab his legs as Kara tightens her grip on his torso, their fingertips touching, and suddenly Kara doesn't know if the frantic pounding of her heart is because of the fear of almost dropping Mike or something else.

"Oh God," Lena frets, helping to right Mike. "Should I rinse off his pacifier?"

"Oh that's okay, I've got it—" Kara begins, but Lena's already picking it up and walking out to the bathroom, and Kara's words fall flat. Her heart's still rushing with adrenaline, and she presses Mike to her chest with a careful exhale of breath.

This is certainly _not_ something the baby books prepared her for.

* * *

 **hey thanks so much if you read this! the amount of hits on this story is insane, it makes me feel so validated. also HUGE shoutout to Tear of Light, thank you so much for reviewing last chapter! you're the real MVP. you can find me over on tumblr at djsugar if you want to send me prompts and/or talk to me about this fic, you'll make my day**


	5. there's something lonesome about you

**late update! again! i'm the master at trying to make a schedule for myself as you can tell...lol. anyway it's still easter over here so happy easter if you celebrate!**

 **about this chapter: i'm trying to make sure you guys know the timing of this fic! right now it's fall, nearing late October. i'll try to make sure to keep mike's age updated every chapter, as well as the seasons/holidays around the time so it doesn't seem too rushed or awkward.**

* * *

"Do you like Lena?"

Kara whispers the question late at night, Alex's head on her stomach as they lay in Kara's bed. Mike sleeps soundly in his bassinet beside them, giving them a rare moment of quiet; he's been getting better at sleeping long periods of time at night, but there's always a few bad nights. Kara misses her big sister so much that she'd caved and asked her to sleep over, guilty as she feels since Adam is back and he's in his room, but Alex had said yes and Kara wasn't about to turn her away.

"Sure," Alex says tiredly. She's not asleep, not yet, but she's drifting towards it.

"But when you met her last week you were really...off," Kara settles on saying, and she frowns even if Alex can't see it. "You didn't look happy."

"I'm glad you found a friend, Kara. I mean it."

"But."

"But nothing. Go to sleep," Alex yawns.

Kara _can't_ , because lately she hasn't stopped thinking about Lena. Not in a weird way, but she can't shake the thought of Lena's smile or the way her hand felt against hers out of her mind. In a not-so-platonic, not-so-friend-like way. Kara feels the tell-tale flutter of a crush in the pit of her stomach whenever she thinks about Lena and that's not—that doesn't happen.

Kara thinks it might be just because she's so lonely, and Lena lives next door and they see each other a lot. And text each other a lot. And because, without her job to keep her occupied, Kara has latched onto the most constant stream of human interaction that isn't one of her friends, especially since Alex isn't around as much anymore. It would make sense.

"She is my friend," Kara says. "But she's not you, you know that, right? I still like you best."

For a moment she thinks Alex has finally fallen asleep. Her breaths are deep, even, but then a second later Alex speaks. "I'm not jealous," she says carefully. "I'm just worried about you."

"Why?" Kara asks, fingers toying with the short ends of Alex's hair. "I'm okay."

"It's not you I'm worried about," Alex says. "It's just that—well, Maggie said something last game night and it got me thinking that maybe Lena doesn't want to be your friend."

"She doesn't?" Kara feels the thought hit her hard, voice coming out small. "Oh."

"No, no, not like that. I just mean—" Alex stops to inhale, deeply. "Jesus, Kara. Maggie thinks Lena wants to be _more_ than just your friend."

"...like a _best_ friend?"

"For fuck's sake," Alex groans, batting Kara's hands away as she sits up. "She thinks Lena has a crush on you!"

"What?" Kara sputters. "That's—that's crazy, Alex! Maggie's wrong. Lena is a very busy person and she wouldn't...she wouldn't like _me_. Lena probably has a boyfriend. Or likes boys. Obviously."

"...you're aware Lena is a lesbian, right? Like. That's been in the headlines for weeks."

"Really? Wow, good for her," Kara says, though her heart speeds up at this news. _Lena likes girls. Lena could like_ —no, of course not, Kara bats the idea away. Maggie may be a cop but surely that's something even she can't detect.

"Kara." Alex turns on the lamp by Kara's bedside, face soft in the gentle light. "What if Maggie's right? I just don't want you to get hurt if Lena leaves."

"Lena wouldn't _leave_ ," Kara snaps, harsher than intended. "I told you, she doesn't like me. A-and even if she did, she'd still be my friend! I'm friends with Winn and he used to like me. That's proof."

"You have a point." But Alex doesn't look like she believes that, really, and she tugs Kara in for a hug. "Are you really okay?" she questions softly. "Lena aside. How are _you_?"

Kara shivers. "I don't know," she admits, body shuddering as the words finally leave her. "I love Mike. But I feel so tired and sometimes I wish...I wish I had my old life back. Sometimes I even wish I didn't have him, Alex, I'm—I'm an awful mother." She's crying now, a weight lifted from her chest, the hot tears burning her eyes as Alex holds her tighter.

"You're an amazing mother," Alex promises. "You get to be selfish about this, okay? You get to feel like you're in too deep. Motherhood is a big thing."

"I can't be selfish. I'm supposed to love this, right?" Kara asks desperately. "I don't even feel ready and it's too late. I feel so tired and I just want to sleep but I have live every waking moment for Mike and I don't—I feel so _tired_ , Alex."

"I know, I know," Alex murmurs lowly. "That's okay, Kara. Just sleep for right now."

"But Mike..."

"He'll be okay." Alex tucks a strand of hair behind Kara's ear as she lets her sink back into the mattress. "I'm here for you. So is everyone else. Let us take care of you for a little bit, okay?"

"Okay." Kara closes her eyes and hears the click as the lamp is turned off, cheeks wet and chest still heavy, but so tired she ignores everything. She feels like she's sinking, like her body isn't hers as she feels sleep overtake her, finally.

Alex stays the night, and even sticks around the next morning, where she suggests one thing as soon as Kara wakes up: that she switch to feeding Mike with a bottle instead.

.

.

.

It's a tiring morning when Mike hits his three month old mark.

Adam looks half-asleep at the kitchen table when Kara walks out of her room with Mike, bleary-eyed as he sips from a cup of coffee. "Morning," he yawns, brow creasing when Mike whines. "What's wrong with him?"

"He won't burp," Kara says with a heavy sigh, feeling very foggy herself. She lets Mike suck on her finger as she hunts for his pacifier in the sink, frowning when she realizes she didn't wash it yesterday.

"Want me to try?"

Kara finally looks at Adam, tie hanging around his neck loosely, and remembers that he has to drive to work soon. It's not his fault, but Kara feels annoyance hit her all at once because no, Adam can't try, and he knows that. He's trying to be helpful, but it rubs her the wrong way this morning and she just shakes her head.

"No. Just hold him while I get his pacifier." She sets Mike into Adam's arms, ignoring Adam's panicked look when Mike squirms. (It's not Kara's fault Adam barely has time to carry his son anymore. That's his own.)

Mike begins to cry. Adam stands up and tries to soothe him, hand awkwardly holding the back of his head, as Kara rinses the pacifier.

Kara rubs her eyes tiredly with one hand as she uses the other to stick the pacifier in Mike's mouth, not moving to take Mike back yet. "So I was thinking," she starts, angling herself in front of the open fridge so Adam won't see her biting her lip, "that we should start Mike on formula."

Adam doesn't look half as worried at the implications of the statement as Kara has been for the past week when she risks a glance at him. He just shrugs, frowning down at his watch.

"Sure, whatever you want," he agrees.

Kara blinks. She had a speech planned—a whole spiel on the importance of Mike bonding with others, her own reasons aside—and it's jarring to think that Adam genuinely doesn't think as much about this as much as Kara does. Which is understandable, considering Adam's not the one dealing with sore breasts and late-night feedings like she is, but still jarring nonetheless.

"Okay then." Kara finally takes Mike back, sensing that Adam is itching to beat the traffic and leave. "Alex and I are probably going to go to the store tonight to get some bottles. Do you want to come?"

"No, that's fine. I have a date tonight," Adam says, already fixing his tie into place as he prepares to leave.

This is the first Kara's hearing about this, and she lets that sink for a moment. Adam, who hasn't even been back long, is already dating. Adam, who spends most of the day out of the house, driving to and from work and sometimes stopping by Cat's. Adam, who Kara doesn't necessarily need around (because she has so much help from her friends it's wonderful), but for someone who claims to want to be there for every aspect of Mike's life, hardly makes an effort to stay.

"Oh. I didn't know you were dating someone," is all that comes out of Kara's mouth, clipped but polite.

Adam doesn't seem to notice. "Yeah, it's pretty new. We've known each other for a while, but we're seeing where this takes us," he says as he bends to drop a kiss on Mike's head. He smiles briefly, fleetingly, before looking back up at Kara. "See you later?"

"Yes, bye," Kara says, trying to smile back when Adam nods and leaves. (She goes back to trying to burp Mike as a means to distract herself from dwelling on her simmering annoyance.)

Alex calls around seven, likely just about to go in to work. Normally Kara loves these moments—early morning phone calls with her sister like old times—but Mike's so fussy even though he's finally burped and all it seems he wants to do is be held.

"Hey, are we still on for the store tonight?" Alex asks, car engine audible in the background. "I can pick you up."

"Yes, please," Kara sighs, pushing Mike's pacifier back into his mouth as it moves to fall out. "I need all the help I can get with Mike today."

"Speaking of _help_ , what does Adam think?"

"About?" Kara tries to set Mike down in his bassinet, but when his face scrunches up she hurriedly picks him up before he can start crying again.

"About you switching to a bottle," says Alex, voice far-off as she likely switches her phone to speaker.

"He's fine with it. I don't think he really cares," Kara admits.

"Hmm." Even over the phone, Kara can picture Alex now, lips pursed judgmentally and eyebrows raised like she gets when Kara talks about Adam.

"Alex. Come on, I swear he's trying," Kara says, even if she's trying to convince herself as much as she is her sister.

"I'm just saying, you can move back into my apartment if you need to."

"Yeah, no, because you need to ask _Maggie_ to move in with you. Which you still haven't done, by the way," Kara reminds her. "At this rate it's going to take you two years to even look at wedding rings.

Alex sputters at that. "Wedding—no! We haven't even been together that long."

"Alex. Trust me when I say that Beyoncé would want you to put a ring on it. Do you seriously want to let down Beyoncé?"

"...goodbye, Kara. I'll call you when I get off of work."

Kara sticks her tongue out at the phone when Alex hangs up. "What do you think, Mike? You want your Aunt Maggie to marry your Aunt Alex, right?"

(He spits out his pacifier. Kids these days.)

.

.

.

Kara meets Jess entirely by accident.

Okay, so maybe it's not an accident on Kara's part; she's the one who decided to go visit Luthor Corp because she's been so bored staying home. Lena has offered, after all, to give Kara a tour of her job; she'd sent it with a heart emoji through text and everything a few days ago. So _maybe_ Kara decides to bring lunch and make it a surprise. The only issue is that, without a key card and a fussy baby in her stroller, she is immediately singled out.

"Excuse me, miss? The daycare is three blocks down," says a voice behind Kara as she wanders aimlessly into the lobby. Jess appears from seemingly nowhere, name tag on her chest, stacks of files in hand and headset placed right by her mouth as though she's going to get a call any second.

"Oh no, I'm not—" At that moment, Mike starts to cry. In the quiet room, silent save for the occasional tapping of keyboards, it's startling. More so for Kara, because Jess doesn't bat an eye.

"Unless you are an investor or the reporter that was due ten minutes ago, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Jess says briskly.

"Um, I'm neither, but I'm here to see Lena? Lena Luthor, not some other Lena that might work here." Kara awkwardly tries to push the stroller in somewhat of a soothing rocking motion. It works a little at least; Mike settles for unpleased sniffling. (Kara makes a note to clean his nose later.)

"I'm afraid Ms. Luthor is booked for the afternoon," Jess says unapologetically. An audible beep sounds then, and she taps her headset, frowning as she turns away from Kara. "Yes, Ms. Luthor? No, the files are here. I'll bring them up shortly. There was a security issue—yes, there's a woman with a baby—" She stops talking and listens closely as Lena talks, slowly turning from professional to curious, and then she looks over Kara once again. "Are you Kara Danvers?"

Kara is thrown for a moment. "Uh, yes?"

"I'll bring her up myself, Ms. Luthor," Jess says into her headset, and then she taps it again and finally pushes it away from her mouth. "Follow me. I'll take you to Ms. Luthor's office."

"Oh. Thank you," says Kara, still sort of confused, as she follows Jess to the elevator. She winces as Mike starts to whine again, quickly opening the top of the stroller to give him his pacifier. He's already eaten, but he sucks away with such gusto at the pacifier Kara know he's probably still hungry.

Jess doesn't say a word to her as they reach—presumably—Lena's floor. Then they're off at a brisk pace, Kara hurrying to push Mike's stroller as Jess walks down the hallway.

"Your files, Ms. Luthor," Jess says as she pushes open double doors to a large, wide office. Kara follows, dumbstruck, and takes in every detail with wide eyes; there are large, towering windows that lead out to a balcony, a wide metal desk with a giant chair that Lena sits in now, even a couch complete with a small table by it that miraculously doesn't clutter the space. It's _that_ large.

"Thank you, Jess," Lena says, standing gracefully to take the files handed to her, though her professionalism melts the second Kara looks at her. "Kara, I didn't know you'd be coming by today."

"I did try to make it a surprise," Kara laughs, awkwardly, because Lena is looking at her knowingly. "Mike gave us away, I guess."

"Well you and Mike are welcome here anytime," Lena promises, smile so beautiful Kara sort of wishes Jess wasn't here to witness it too. "Jess, will you make a note downstairs that Kara Danvers is to be let in to my office at all times?"

Jess nods and walks away, leaving Kara reeling behind her.

"Wait, really?" she asks, just to double check.

"Yes, of course. I'd love for you and Mike to come see what I do. Sadly, it's pretty boring," Lena says. "I can take a break to show you the facilities, if you'd like?"

"I definitely want a tour," Kara agrees, "but I also brought Chinese food. So...lunch?"

Lena brightens. "I like the way you think, Kara."

They sit on Lena's couch. Kara sits with Mike against her chest, not quite siting him up, and Lena tucks her feet up on the couch and angles her body in Kara's direction.

"So what are you and Mike up to today?" Lena asks over chow mein and orange chicken, handling chopsticks with practiced ease.

"Just visiting you, pretty much," says Kara sheepishly, licking soy sauce off her thumb. "I'm sorry to show up unannounced, by the way. I should've asked you first."

"No, really, it's alright," Lena assures her. "I like spending time with you. You're probably...well, _literally_ my only friend in National City."

"What? No, that can't be true," Kara insists.

"It is," Lena laughs forlornly, shaking her head. "I don't make friends too easily. Lex has always been the social butterfly. I've always been somewhat of a recluse." She gazes off to the corner of the room, like just the thought of friends makes her uneasy, and Kara feels a pang of sympathy. She understands what it's like to be lonely.

"So does that mean you were the lame college student who stayed home and never went to parties?" Kara jokes.

Lena smiles, a small thing, relieved that Kara hasn't pressed further. "I was the tech nerd," she says just as jokingly. "Take a guess." She appraises Kara then, a dangerous glint to her eye. "You were probably like Lex, weren't you? Being invited out, making a million friends, probably braiding the hair of stray drunk girls at parties."

"Hey, that's...sort of true. But I was an athlete, okay? We had to be social," Kara insists.

"Oh, an _athlete_ ," Lena gasps, feigning amazement. "What did you play?"

"...well, I ran track. That counts, right?"

"It certainly explains why you look like that," Lena says, shaking her head.

"What? Like what?"

Lena tilts her head. "Can't you see it? I swear, you could be photoshopped," she clicks her tongue. "And you just had a baby, too."

"Um. Thank you?" Kara says questioningly. "I haven't really gotten back into getting into shape. I don't even have abs anymore, it's pretty tragic."

"I'll bet." Lena smirks at her over a sip of water and suddenly Kara freezes. Are they flirting? Is this how people flirt? (Was Maggie _right_?)

Kara coughs. "Anyway," she says to change the subject, "tell me more about your college days. I'm sure you have a story or two, right?"

"Nothing too interesting, I'm afraid," Lena says. "I do have some tales of Lex you'd like, though. He'll hate me for it, so you must be sworn to secrecy."

"Scout's honor," Kara promises. "I'm not even working yet, so Ms. Grant can't even force me to spill."

"Yet?" Lena raises an eyebrow. "Are you going back to work soon?"

Kara falters. It's a loaded question, one she's been avoiding and one Lena looks particularly interested in. Kara's ideal world have her working again by the time Mike turns four months, but Kara's real world reminds her she doesn't have a babysitter who can stay with Mike during the day. And he hasn't transitioned to a bottle yet. And Kara still needs to be here to breastfeed him. And Kara doesn't even know if she's ready yet. And the list goes on and on and on...

"Maybe," is what Kara settles for. "Nothing's concrete yet. Mike still needs me, so..."

Lena picks up on this hesitance. "Well, you'll cross the bridge when you get to it, right?" she says easily. "It works out well for me if Ms. Grant doesn't blackmail you into getting these stories. Lex won't even be able to look you in the eye when I tell him."

Kara giggles at the idea, relieved that it's easy to ignore the heavy stuff—the stuff she doesn't like burdening her friends with—with Lena.

"Okay," Kara says, shifting Mike so it looks like he's as engrossed as she is. "Hit me with the best one."

(On a related note, Lena animated and talking excitedly about her brother is the most beautiful Kara's seen her yet.)

.

.

.

It takes Kara a whole week to finally bite the bullet and ask.

"Maggie?"

"Yeah?" Maggie replies, half-obstructed by the tall box in the living room she valiantly is trying to open. Kara plays with Mike in his baby bouncer a few feet away, the question that's been running through her mind finally surfacing.

"How did you know you liked girls?" she asks shyly. She feels embarrassed even when Maggie hasn't replied, keeping her eyes locked on Mike's face.

Maggie pops her head up, a wide grin slowly overtaking her face. "Is this about Lesbian Luthor?"

" _Maggie_."

"Sorry, serious question." Maggie finally gets the top off the box and whoops loudly. "Okay, it's open! Time to get it started." She starts removing pieces of wood, brow furrowing at the sheer amount, before she looks right at Kara. "Right, so, liking girls. I don't know, it wasn't some life-changing thing. I just really liked this girl in high school like the other girls liked boys. And it was hard because I tried to ask her to a dance and she didn't—well. It wasn't a good coming out experience."

"I'm sorry, this is insensitive of me," Kara says, fidgeting nervously. "You don't have to tell me."

"No, come on, if you have the hots for the CEO of Lesbian Corp I want to know! Besides, it's water under the bridge. It was a bad experience but it happened and it's over. It's okay."

"She's not the CEO," Kara corrects, cheeks coloring pink. "I'm sorry to come to you and not Alex, but..." She stops, unsure what to say. That she's not sure she wants Alex to know yet? That she's afraid of how Alex will take it?

"Are you kidding? This is great. I'm always happy to help a Danvers when it comes to questioning sexuality," Maggie says cheerfully. "Of course, I draw the line at kissing. You're gonna have to find someone else for that."

Kara rolls her eyes. "Maggie," she whines, "I need your help. I've never liked a girl before."

"You don't need to figure out a label or anything if you don't want to, Kara," Maggie says. "Maybe you just like this one girl. Maybe you've always loved girls. I can't help you figure out what it is."

"I don't think I've liked other girls," Kara says, scrunching her nose as she tries to think. "I just know I've liked guys. I did some research on it, but..."

"Research? Jeez, you Danvers sisters really are alike," Maggie laughs as she goes back to the task at hand. She starts rummaging around for the bag full of screws, which she pulls out of the box with a frown. "So what'd you find?"

"I don't know." Kara shakes a rattle in Mike's face and sighs. "Bisexuality makes a lot of sense. But it's—shouldn't I have had some kind of sign?"

"Kara, your sister literally realized she was a lesbian because she fell in love with me," Maggie snorts. "I may be that irresistible, but also, it's because these things take time to realize. And it's never too late."

"Hmm." Kara takes that in for a moment, focusing back on Mike. He smiles widely up at her and she smiles back, shaking the rattle again to watch as his head follows the sound. "Thanks, Maggie," she says, feeling a bit better. It's still overwhelming—and she's adamant she probably still has a friend crush on Lena, not a real one—but she has time to figure it out. And that feels good.

"No problem." Maggie shakes the bag and watches as the screws in it get lost in the carpet. "Now can you come help me set up this crib already?"

"Is that why Alex sent you over? I won't need that for a while, you know."

"Seriously? Your sister is more worried than you are," Maggie complains. "Whatever, come help me. Your carpet ate these screws."

"Okay, but I really won't use this crib for months," Kara says, crawling onto the floor to help find the screws in question. "Do you even know how to set it up?"

"No. But lesbians are supposed to be great at building furniture. How hard can it be?"

(Famous last words—they end up abandoning the project an hour in.)

Maggie ends up becoming the first one to try bottle feeding Mike. The bottles Kara bought have stayed in their packaging too long, and Kara has been hesitant to try them out. She doesn't want to be the first person to feed Mike, and ideally it should be Adam but Maggie's safe and familiar and Kara thinks she's better suited. Maggie, of course, loves the idea.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kara frets as she fixes the bottle, squinting at the label. It comes out too hot when she splashes a drop on the inside of her wrist, and she nervously dumps it and starts over.

"I already said yes, Danvers, don't make me regret it by asking every two seconds," Maggie says. She's already sitting on the couch with Mike in position to eat, though he starts to fuss quickly when he realizes he's not getting fed yet. "Shit, he's crying."

Kara brings a bottle out that's just right to find Maggie rocking Mike, her standing up and him sniffling petulantly. She lets them get situated once more before she hands Maggie the bottle and awkwardly shifts off to the side.

"Try just resting it on his lips, first," Kara cautions. "Eliza said he should take it by himself."

Maggie nods and does exactly as instructed. Mike opens his mouth and curiously gnaws on the strange rubbery object, not sucking yet, before he turns away from it and starts to cry. Kara bites her lip and watches as Maggie tries, again and again, to coax him into taking it. But eventually Mike's face is nearly purple from how much he's screaming and Maggie looks so stressed that Kara gives in.

"Here, let me just," she says helplessly, taking Mike and letting him shift into the familiar scent of his mom. She nurses him (feeling like a failure) while Maggie squeezes her shoulder apologetically.

"Sorry, Kara," Maggie says. "I guess I'm not good with kids."

"No, you were great. Really," Kara insists. "I'm just—I'm not good at denying him what he wants, you know?"

Maggie only squeezes harder. "It's okay," she says. "I'd be the same."

That, at least, makes Kara feel a little better.

.

.

.

Her keys are _right there_.

They're at her eye level now, as Kara lowers herself on her elbows and peeks under the living room table. Her glasses are pushed uncomfortably against her face, but she endures it as she grasps at the keys in question, annoyed when they prove to be just out of reach.

"Do you only dress Mike in pastels?"

Kara knows she is in a rather unflattering position when Lena, Mike in her arms, comes walking out of Kara's room. Kara's head is still half under the living room table, but she forgets and of course tries to look at Lena, which only results in her banging her head hard on the table.

"Ow!" Kara flops onto the floor with a groan, keys forgotten as Lena stifles a laugh.

"Are you okay?" Lena asks, voice sounding closer as she walks over to the table. "Why are you on the floor?"

"My keys are under the table," Kara complains. "Just wait a second. I promise I'll get us out of here eventually."

"Okay," says Lena, though it's said amusedly, like she won't believe it until she sees it. "Do you need any help?"

"No." Kara remains stubborn as she props herself back up on her elbows and reaches back under the table. "And I don't only dress Mike in pastels, for the record."

"Well he looks like an Easter egg every time I come around."

"Hey, he looks very cute in soft colors," Kara says, fingertips just grazing the keys until— _there_. She triumphantly emerges from under the table, keys in hand, as she directs a bright smile Lena's way. "I found them! Oh, thank you for getting him. He's just so fussy today."

Mike seems peaceful now, head tucked over Lena's shoulder. He's got his fist stuck in his mouth, drooling enough that Kara fears for Lena's black coat. Come to think of it, maybe he _does_ wear a lot of pastels. His footed sleeper today is a bright, sunny yellow, a color much like the leaves falling off the trees outside. Sue her, Kara loves that color. (And okay, yeah, she loves pastels.)

Mike's hand slips out of his mouth at that moment. He whines at the loss, wet fingers smacking Lena's neck, and Kara grimaces.

"Oh, Mike," she groans, taking Mike out of Lena's arms as Lena discreetly wipes at her neck with her hand. "I'm sorry, Lena. There's—there's napkins on the kitchen counter."

"It's alright," Lena assures her, giving Mike's hand (the one free of baby spit) a quick squeeze before she retreats to the kitchen.

Kara frowns down at her son. "You're hungry, aren't you? I guess I might as well feed you before we leave," she says, opening up her shirt because she isn't about to wrestle with the bottle again today. They're already rushing as it is.

"Kara, your napkin holder is empty. I can refill it if you—" Lena stops, and the metal napkin holder hits the linoleum kitchen floor with a loud _clang_.

"Hmm?" Kara turns her head just in time to see Lena whirl around, cheeks an alarming red.

"I'm sorry!" Lena says, flustered, already retreating back to the kitchen. "I'll—give you some privacy."

Kara stares after her for a long moment, confused, until it hits her. _Oh_. Her torso is practically naked, her shirt open wide enough to leave absolutely nothing to imagination, and Lena _saw_. Kara's jaw drops open. _Oh God_. This takes the cake of the most absolutely embarrassing things she's ever done.

"Lena, wait, _I'm_ sorry!" Kara jumps to her feet, but Mike whines and she remembers she's supposed to feed him. Shit. She sits back down and hurriedly lets him latch on. "I—I didn't mean to flash you!" she calls helplessly in the direction of the kitchen. "I forgot you weren't Adam!" As soon as the words leave her mouth, her eyes widen. _Great, now Lena will think she just flashes Adam._

"It's fine," Lena says back, voice muffled from far. "Should I just bring the car around?"

"Uh, okay," Kara agrees, and she waits until Lena leaves—without daring to make eye contact, or even look in Kara's direction—before she frowns down at Mike. "What do you think she means, Mike? The car?"

.

.

.

"I didn't think you'd be the sports car type," Kara confesses, still slightly in awe as she unbuckles Mike from his car seat. Lena removes her shades and shrugs as she slides out of the car, slinging her bag over her shoulder masterfully.

"It's Lex's, actually," Lena admits. "I usually drive my bike. I didn't think Mike would appreciate it though, it doesn't have the space for a car seat."

"You drive a motorcycle?!" Kara sputters. "Why are you so cool?"

Lena laughs. "I usually end up using car services for most of my day-to-day routine though," she elaborates further, not addressing Kara's freakout. "I really should invest in a decent car someday."

Kara has no doubt Lena will do that. She also has no doubt Lena can afford that, because Lena is super _rich_. Power clothes and fancy cars aside, the store Lena has driven them to looks more like a Dolce and Gabbana type rather than the Walmart Kara expected them to go to.

"You know, Halloween shopping usually takes place somewhere that has to do with Halloween," Kara says as she picks Mike up and out of the way so Lena can slide the folded-up stroller out of the backseat. (One of the disadvantages to the sports car: no trunk.)

"It's a costume store," Lena replies, brow furrowing as she attempts to open the stroller. "How do you get this to fold out?"

"Click the button—oh there, you got it." Kara's heart flutters when Lena gives an excited _ha_ as the stroller folds out.

Lena is grinning proudly when she pushes the stroller over to Kara. "Shall we go?" she asks, eyebrow quirking playfully.

Kara sets Mike in and buckles him up, tucking a blanket securely around him. "Well, if you're sure this store will have baby costumes," Kara says, taking the handle of the stroller to direct them to the entrance of the store in question. "I'd still rather go to Walmart."

"There will be much more options at a costume store than a grocery store, Kara."

"Walmart is more than a grocery store!" Kara protests, but it falls on deaf ears because once they're inside Lena immediately zeroes in on the baby section. Kara has to admit, the store does look nice. The costumes seem less polyester and more quality, but at the same time Kara knows a well-made costume won't really matter; Mike will grow out of it in the blink of an eye.

"I have to admit, I'm not really into Halloween," Lena says as Kara and Mike catch up. Lena is studying a Batman costume intently, not looking Kara in the eye. "The kids in the building always go trick-or-treating on our floor though, so that's been a rather interesting change."

"Well," Kara says carefully, unsure how to broach the topic, "I love Halloween." It seems like Lena has some lingering insecurity—some kind of hesitance when it comes to the holiday—and Kara doesn't ever want to push. "Maybe Mike and I can help change your opinion."

Lena looks up then, a slow smile spreading over her lips. "How do you expect to do that?" she chuckles, clearly not taking the suggestion as seriously as Kara intended it to be.

"I don't know." Kara shrugs, but really there _is_ something and she finds herself jittery at the idea. "How about...you come trick-or-treating with us?"

Lena dismisses the idea with an idle wave of her hand. "Oh, I couldn't. Someone needs to hand out candy," she says, venturing further into the racks of costumes. "And isn't Mike a little too young to be trick-or-treating?"

"It's his first Halloween," Kara insists, following even though it's kind of hard to fit the stroller through the narrow aisles. "And I mean, I really just volunteered to take Adam's little brother trick-or-treating while he's still young enough not to be embarrassed."

Lena stiffens. "Right," she says after a pregnant pause. "And I suppose Adam's going to go, too."

Kara pauses. "Well, no. He's going to hand out candy." It's strange how Lena seems so put-off by Adam, even when they've never spent any time together. From what Kara has gathered, Lena only met Adam at Cat's party ages ago.

"I see." Lena crosses her arms, tilts her head, and then stares. Not in any way that's critical, just appraising. "You really do like Halloween, don't you?"

" _Yes_. And you will, too," Kara says, mirroring her pose and trying to lift her chin haughtily until Lena breaks. It works, sort of—Lena laughs at Kara's poor attempt at being firm, shaking her head and continuing on down the aisle.

"Okay," Lena throws the word of her shoulder. "I'll let you try. Now, what were you thinking of dressing Mike up as?"

"I don't know. An animal of some sort?" Kara suggests nonchalantly, though she's fighting the urge to grin ridiculously wide because Lena said _yes_. "Oh, like a puppy! Or a dragon. Or— _Lena_. Lena, they have dinosaur costumes!" Kara feels giddy all of a sudden, transported into a place of childish glee. She truly does love Halloween; it's always been one of her favorite times of the year, and this year she fears it will feel different since she has Mike.

Last year's Halloween was where Kara was young and carefree, where she dressed up as Batgirl and got drunk with Alex and James and Winn and threw up all the candy they'd eaten. Now, suddenly, this year's Halloween feels like they've all grown up. Winn and James are now steadily together, dating for two years; Alex has come out as gay and gotten a girlfriend; Kara has a baby. It's overwhelming and it feels like it's come out of nowhere even when it hasn't but something about being here, in this store, doesn't feel like an end to those fun Halloween nights. It feels like something new, something real, something that's just as scary as it is exciting.

Mike makes a small cooing noise at that moment and Kara lifts the top of the stroller to peek in at him. He's awake, dark eyes gazing up at her, gloved hands stretching by his head as he drools onto his chin and Kara feels that surge of emotion that comes to her sometimes just hit her. That emotional tug to hold him, to protect him, to love him; that's something that even the strongest fears and doubts she has will never take.

"Of course you'd dress your son up like a dinosaur," Lena teases, tearing Kara's eyes away from Mike as Lena pinches one of the dinosaur costumes between her fingers. "At least it'll be the darkest thing he's ever worn."

"Hey! I told you, he looks great in pastels," Kara says, feigning a huff. "Right, Mike? You like pastels, don't you?"

He sneezes and Lena laughs again, so freely and warmly, and Kara knows—she knows—that maybe Mike isn't the only reason why she feels so overwhelmed all of a sudden.

* * *

 **hey thank you if you read this chapter! over 100 ppl are following this story now, it's insane! you're all way too nice. come talk to me over on tumblr at djsugar or send me a PM or drop a review or something - i love it when you guys let me know what you think! either way though i appreciate every single person who reads this, thank u for validating me**


	6. hoy me doy cuenta que perdi todo sin ti

**late update again! sorry. this is the longest chapter yet but it drags the most somehow? idk it's a little too much fluff but i promise it's necessary for plot points to build the story up to where i want it. just hold on in there, i know it's super slow lmao**

 **alternate title is: jess and cat KNOW**

* * *

One downside of parenting with someone you're not dating: family dinners.

Cat and Carter have come to visit, as they so often do, but this time it's bearing Italian food and Adam is already taking out plates and Kara really can't say no. It feels strange for her, as the outsider to this family, to sit with them and listen to the things she doesn't know: how Carter's doing in school, how the latest semi-civil talks between Cat and Adam's father went, how Adam's commute seems to get harder and harder to do.

"So how's that girl you're seeing?" Cat asks Adam. "She hasn't broken up with you too, has she?"

Kara nearly chokes on a piece of bread. Adam just looks mildly uncomfortable, like this isn't the first time Cat has brought up his relationship with Kara.

"No, Mom," Adam says. "We're fine." He doesn't elaborate, but Kara senses a reluctance to talk about it. She doesn't know if that's because something really _is_ wrong with the girl he's dating or because he feels awkward talking with his mom about it, but it honestly could be either.

"Hmm." Cat doesn't look like she believes him, but she changes the subject anyway. "Kiera, how is your relationship with Lena Luthor?"

This time, Kara _does_ choke. "W-what?" she stammers, coughing until her eyes get wet. (Carter sympathetically slides her his glass of water.)

"Don't be daft, the press is in love with your friendship," Cat says. "They get pictures of the two of you every time you step foot outside. They seem to think she's raising Mike more than Adam is."

Adam frowns. "They really think that?"

"It's the press, Adam. As far as they're concerned, you've moved out of the city by now," says Cat. "It's the most positive gossip around Lena Luthor I've seen since her coming out. It's very _interesting_." She stresses the last word carefully, looking pointedly at Kara over the wine she takes a sip of.

Kara feels strangely like she's being judged. Or warned.

"I guess it is my fault I'm not here that often," Adam admits. He taps his fingers on the table slowly, pensive. He's about to add something else, but then the baby monitor crackles to life. "I'll get him," he says before Kara can move, pushing his chair out and getting up.

"Can I play with Mike?" Carter asks, perking up. He's much more thrilled about being an uncle than he is about babies in general.

"Finish your dinner first," Cat answers. "And stop slouching."

Carter shoves a forkful of pasta into his mouth. "Hey Kara," he says once he's swallowed, "is Lena Luthor really nice?"

"Yes, she is very nice," Kara replies slowly, unsure where the question is coming from. "She's a good friend of mine."

Cat hums at that in a way that gives Kara pause. That's how Ms. Grant always hums when some stockholder drops out, or when reporters ask her stupid questions, or when that place on 5th street doesn't have the salad dressing she likes. It's the hum that says just-wait-and-see, and Kara won't lie: it's intimidating.

"Cool," Carter says happily, stuffing a piece of bread into his mouth, ignoring the way Kara nervously won't meet Cat's eyes. "Can I meet her?"

Kara clears her throat. "Why do you want to meet her?" she asks, fully aware of the way Cat is studying her.

"My school wants us to do a project on powerful women in the media," Carter says. "I wanted to do Mom, but the teacher said I'd be biased. And if I get an interview with Lena Luthor everyone is going to be _so_ jealous."

"Well, why don't you ask her for an interview yourself?" Kara suggests. "She's going to come trick-or-treating with us next week."

"Trick-or-treating?" Carter crinkles his nose. "I'm too old for that stuff."

(Carter was singing a different tune two weeks ago, but Kara decides not to mention it.)

"Even to take Mike? Your nephew?" she teases instead, watching Carter fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

"...okay, fine," Carter agrees, digging back into his food with a renewed energy. "I guess if Ms. Luthor's going too."

Kara goes back to her own food, too, but makes the mistake of meeting Cat's eye.

Cat just sips at her wine once more, eyebrow raised. "So Lena Luthor is coming here again," she says again, something leery in her tone. "Interesting."

Adam takes that moment to come back with a groggy Mike in his arms, cutting off any chance of Kara asking what Cat means by _interesting_. "I changed his diaper," he announces. "Should I set him in his bassinet?"

"Sure," Kara says, shaking her head as she looks away from Cat. She tries not to show how disappointed she is that Mike has woken up again even though he fell asleep two hours ago, setting down her fork to prepare herself to leave her food behind. "I'll try to put him back to sleep in a little bit."

"Or I can try," Adam suggests.

"No, that's okay. I was planning to nurse him."

"I thought you said you were switching to a bottle," Cat interjects, regarding Adam carefully. "Are you lying to your mother now?"

Adam laughs. "Mom, of all the things I'd lie to you about, it wouldn't be that."

"He's just taking a little longer to adjust," Kara explains, lest somehow Cat think they're not trying. She doesn't know why she feels the need to prove herself a capable mother to Cat—who is just her boss, really—but Cat doesn't seem to care.

"Well, I don't know much about babies," Cat says. "It's been too long since Carter was that young. Have you thought about getting a nurse?"

"Mom," Adam says warningly. "We're doing just fine without a nurse."

"What's this _we_? Isn't Kiera the only one really around?"

Kara nearly spits out her water. Cat really isn't beating around the bush with this one; she keeps sipping at her wine, this time regarding her son with a curious tilt of her head.

Adam frowns. "It's not my fault I have to work, Mom," he says.

"No, sweetheart, it's not. But Kiera had to give up her job to have this baby. Couldn't you have done the same? Paternity leave is a thing, you know. It's 2017, it's time to get with the changing times."

Adam frowns. "Are you seriously judging my involvement in my son's life? That's rich, coming from you."

" _Okay_! Wow," Kara exclaims, clapping her hands so loudly Mike startles. "Why don't we get some dessert? We have ice cream in the freezer. Carter, you like ice cream, right?"

"I'm not judging you, Adam," Cat says patiently, though it's clear there's a little hurt in her voice. "I'm just worried about you and your need to hide your dirty laundry. Does your new girlfriend know you're a father?"

"Even if she didn't," Adam laughs bitterly, "she'd know in a heartbeat. The press sure loves that the bastard son of Cat Grant is a father. Add that with the apparent love affair I've been having with Lena Luthor's new girlfriend and yeah, _everyone_ knows."

"Um," Kara says, "when you say 'Lena Luthor's new girlfriend'—"

(She's ignored.)

"You didn't tell her, did you?" Cat sighs. "Adam. Why didn't you say something? I could have given the press a much simper story if I'd known."

"That's not the point." Adam shakes his head tiredly, rocking Mike as he starts to fuss. "She knows now, because of the whole mess with publicity and press and your need to have an ever-perfect media image. It gets tiring, Mom. I'm sorry. I just need a minute." He turns and leaves, disappearing into his room with Mike still in his arms even as Mike starts to cry.

"Adam," Cat calls after him, sighing even heavier than before, but luckily not moving to follow. She seems to accept that she's not needed right now, setting down her glass and pensively gazing after him.

Kara swallows. "Um," she tries again, "so when he said 'Lena Luthor's new girlfriend'—"

Cat groans.

.

.

.

"Adam, stop moving. You're ruining the picture."

"Hey, he's the one moving. I'm just the designated baby holder."

Kara rolls her eyes and snaps a few more pictures anyway. Mike, truth be told, is wiggling in his costume, unpleased at the little hood covering his head. But he looks absolutely _adorable_ , and Cat has asked that she get a few pictures of the Foster boys (she'd refused to come herself), so maybe Kara's being a little indulgent. Whatever. It's Mike's first Halloween! She's allowed to be excited.

"So when can we start trick-or-treating?" Carter asks, voice muffled by the fake fangs in his mouth. He's dressed like a vampire in a recycled costume from last year, because apparently costume shopping is just too uncool for a 13-year-old. "So we can take Mike," he adds, just in case they'd forgotten his true motives (as if they'd forget; he's been reminding them every two minutes).

"I told you we have to wait for everyone else," Kara says, playfully sticking her tongue out when he bares his fangs jokingly. "Lena's going to get out of work at six. And Alex and Maggie are going to get out afterwards."

"Is James coming? He's so cool. Plus he's a _real_ photographer," Carter says.

"Hey," Kara says, feigning offense, "is that a dig on my skills?"

"Well you did get your finger in like half of the first pictures," Adam says. "No offense."

Kara shakes her head. "Fine, no more pictures, you guys can step away," she says, holding out her hands for Mike.

Carter is all too eager to obey, jumping away from the wall they've been pressed against. "Can we do fun stuff now? Adam said he'd bring a pumpkin to carve," he says.

"It's in the car," Adam says. "I can go get it while we wait, if you guys want."

"Do you even know how to carve a pumpkin?" Kara says, slipping the hood of Mike's costume down when he fusses.

"I guess we're going to find out, aren't we?" Adam sing-songs, snatching his keys off the counter. "I'll be back!"

When he's gone, Carter immediately moves into Kara's space, peering at Mike through makeup-covered lashes.

"Can I hold him?" he begs. "I'll be careful!"

"Only if you sit down," Kara acquiesces. "And please don't get your makeup all over his face."

While Carter gets his uncle fix, Kara uses the time to get everything into place. She and Adam agreed no decorations except a few cobwebs on their door (mostly because they weren't sure how the landlord would feel about it), but Kara brings out some Halloween platters anyway because they're cool and they don't count. Sort of. She also gets out the big bowl of candy that's been sitting on the kitchen counter and steals a Snickers bar or two. (They're small, okay.)

"How come Mike's dressed like a dinosaur? You should've made him Superman," Carter says.

"He looks cute like a dinosaur," Kara responds. "And matching costumes are too much of a cliché." She's dressed like Supergirl for the evening, even if Adam's too much of a bore to dress up so they wouldn't even be a REAL matching family cliché. She feels a bit weird in such a tight outfit; the boots are too tall and the skirt too short for her liking, but the cape is awesome.

"My mom said she's a vampire in spirit tonight," Carter says. "Sucking souls of old, stuffy white men at the office."

"I'm pretty sure she does that every day of the year, but okay," Kara says, chewing on one of her chocolate bars for a second before she remembers to add, "Also, don't tell her I said that."

Carter snickers, but the sound is masked by the doorbell ringing. Kara shoves the last of the chocolate in her mouth and goes to get it, groaning when she notices that it's a giant pumpkin greeting her. Adam barely pokes out behind it, smiling sheepishly.

"I forgot how big it was," he says, squeezing past Kara to drop it on the kitchen table. "But it's a nice one."

"How are we going to get rid of that? It's _too_ big."

"I'm offended you want to already get rid of it, Kara," Adam teases. "Come on, I'll get a knife. Carter, you're on seed scooping duty."

"And Mike and I will just watch," Kara says, picking Mike up out of Carter's arms before Carter gets too excited and tries to stand up with him. She tugs Mike's hood back down on his head and grins when he immediately tries to jerk his head away, which of course only results in it settling over his forehead.

Adam sloppily starts on cutting off the stem, opening up the pumpkin wide enough that Carter can stick a spoon in to scoop out the pumpkin seeds. It's still a narrow hole; Carter's sleeve gets wet with pumpkin guts and Adam has to chop a little when the spoon gets stuck, but they're off to a good start. The pumpkin's so big that the task drags, so eventually Kara takes Mike and sets him on his stomach under his baby gym. He's much more excited to be playing than he is watching them do something he's too young to understand anyway.

Mike is doing an exceptional job of following the stuffed lion Kara moves in front of his eyes, head and neck quivering with the effort to follow it left and right before Kara takes one of his hands to touch it.

"Look, Mike, feel how soft the lion is," Kara says. His fist opens up, small fingers shakily stretching out as he smacks at the toy once. He remains unable to grasp it yet, but he's content to touch whatever he can, even if it's just the blankets underneath him.

The doorbell rings again.

"I'll get it!" Carter yells.

"Your hand is stuck in a pumpkin!" Adam yells back.

Kara rolls her eyes and pushes herself up. " _I'll_ get it," she says. "Keep an eye on Mike, please!" she calls over her shoulder, yanking open the unlocked door to find Lena on the other side. "Lena! You're here early."

"Someone had to make Jess go home to face those trick-or-treaters," Lena jokes. "I can go home first if you'd rather, I wouldn't want to interrupt anything..."

"No way. Come on, you can come see Mike's costume," Kara says, ushering Lena in with an expectant hand. "How come you don't have a costume?"

"I wasn't aware this was a costume party," Lena replies, at this point noticing Carter's costume and Adam's lack of one. She looks over at Kara, giving her a slow once-over for good measure. "Wait. Let me guess—Supergirl?"

"Yup! I get a cool cape and everything," Kara says, excitedly gripping the ends of it. Her hands stray to the ends of her skirt, and she tugs on it exasperatedly, drawing Lena's attention to the movement. "It's a little short though. I think I got a size too small."

The tips of Lena's ears go a little pink. "Is it? I didn't notice," she says, quickly tearing her eyes away to focus on Kara's face. "You're, ah, not wearing your glasses."

"Well, every hero needs a good disguise."

"A good disguise. Really," Lena echoes, amusement creeping in her tone. "Your good disguise is...taking off your glasses and letting down your hair?"

"That's—there's more to it than _that_ ," Kara protests, weakly, because when Lena says it out loud it sure sounds simpler than what Kara had envisioned. "If I was a real superhero you'd never be able to notice. I would just have to be a little tougher." She places her hands on her hips and tries to strike a heroic pose, jutting her chin out dramatically. "See? Tough. You'd never notice it was me."

"I'd notice you anywhere, Kara Danvers," Lena says, and she steps close—so close that Kara can smell her perfume—just to carefully outline the scar by Kara's eyebrow with her fingertips. Kara finds herself sucking in a breath, unable to think, unable to move, until Lena backs away and breaks into a wide, playful grin. "And it really is an awful disguise."

"That's," Kara blinks, "that's really rude, Lena."

Lena laughs. "So where's Mike?" she asks, changing the subject as if Kara isn't still slowly regaining the ability to breathe behind her. "I want to see how that dinosaur costume looks."

Kara gestures over to the baby gym, where Mike is still squirming on the blankets. "You can pick him up if you want," she offers when Lena immediately goes to kneel beside him.

"Oh no, that's okay." Lena leans down to whisper a hello and kiss his forehead, smudging red lipstick on his skin while Kara peeks back in the kitchen to check on the boys.

The pumpkin seeds must be gone by now; there's two big bowls full of seeds and pumpkin guts that are spilling over on the counter as the proof. Adam's already started to carve one of the eyes of the jack-o-lantern while Carter watches, transfixed.

"Hey, Lena's here," Kara tells them. "If you want to go say hi."

"She is?" Carter turns his head so fast it's a wonder he doesn't get whiplash. He seems uncharacteristically shy all of a sudden, hands going to grip Kara's cape. "Can you ask her about my interview?"

"You sure you don't want to do that? A good reporter is proactive. Gets the job done," Kara says, nudging him in Lena's direction. "Go on, she doesn't bite. You two can go bond over Mike."

Carter finally lets himself be shoved away with a quick ruffle of his hair, and Adam shakes his head.

"I don't know how you do it," Adam marvels. "You're magic with kids."

"Don't let Carter hear you call him a kid," Kara says. "I once babysat him and actually used the word 'babysitting' in front of him and he wouldn't leave his room all night."

"You're deflecting," Adam observes with a smirk, setting down the knife when Kara shrugs, not moving to fight the claim. "You make it seem so easy, you know. Taking care of Mike. Giving up your job. And I know it isn't easy. My mom was right, about me never being around." Adam's smirk fades away, replaced with a grim seriousness Kara's never seen on him. "I don't want to be that guy, you know? I want us to be a real family. So I want to be the one to take time off of work now, because I know how much you need your job to stay sane. So if you want to go back, you can. Either way, I'll be here. For Mike, and for you."

"Oh." Kara's mouth falls open a little. "That's—are you sure?" She doesn't even know what to say to that. For so long she's resolved to stay with Mike at least a few more months that she's put the idea of going back to work in the back of her mind.

"Like I said, it's whatever you want," Adam says. "I do want to run something by you, though." He hesitates a moment, prolonged enough that Kara wonders what could be so bad. "Would you—would it be okay if I brought my girlfriend over sometime? To meet Mike."

Oh. _Oh_. "Of course," Kara is quick to assure him. "I'd love to meet her, too."

Adam's shoulders relax, a careful smile tugging on his lips. "Yeah?"

"Yes." Kara squeezes his shoulder in a way she hopes is comforting, his ensuing laughter proof enough that they're in a good place now. "Now are you ever going to cut that thing? It'll never see the light of day at this point."

"You mean the light of...night?"

"...oh, because it's nighttime! That's a good one," Kara says thoughtfully. "I'm sure there's a pun somewhere about the actual candle light somewhere, too..."

"Can you guys stop being so _lame_?" Carter yells, distracting both Kara and Adam from their last conversation. "It's late! We need to go trick-or-treating."

"He's ruder than I remember," Adam mock-whispers, and Kara snorts.

"He's showing off for the pretty girl," she says knowingly. Lena is, after all, watching the scene unfold (and not without amusement, that's for sure). "Okay, Carter, let's go. Adam, you're going to hold the fort down, right? If the others come around tell them we're going to be out."

"Aye aye, captain," Adam agrees with a mock salute. "And I'll carve this pumpkin too."

"Okay, but candy giving is supposed to be your top priority! And remember to give them all some extra since we're stealing Lena for the night," Kara says, taking that time to pick Mike up and pull his hood down.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Lena protests. "I didn't even bring any candy of my own."

"Exactly. And that's how we're keeping it," Kara says. "Let me go get Mike's stroller. Lena, do you want to do the honors of carrying Mike's pumpkin?"

"Well, I suppose so," Lena says, gingery taking the plastic pumpkin-shaped basket as if she's handling a live grenade. "I'm going to look ridiculous, aren't I?"

"I think you look cool," Carter promises, eyes already shining up at Lena like she holds the stars.

 _No one seems immune to her charm_ , Kara thinks with a fond grin when Lena only laughs and tells him, "I'll take your word for it, Carter."

"Hey, do you guys want a picture?" Adam asks, coming out of the kitchen. Lena's smile disappears the second Adam reaches them, but no one except for Kara seems to notice. Adam is just too cheery, already holding his hand out for Lena to shake. "Lena, right? We met once."

"Right," Lena says, clipped but polite. "Thank you for having me over."

"Oh, that's nothing. Didn't you hear? You're dating Kara and I'm the poor sucker getting screwed over," Adam jokes, winking when Lena furrows her brow in confusion. "You might as well be living here with the rate I hear your name mixed into our family life."

Lena's jaw clenches. "Well," she says. "I guess I should apologize for that."

Adam's grin falters. "I didn't mean it in a bad way," he clarifies. "I just meant—" He looks over at Kara, floundering. "I mean it's sort of funny," he finishes when Kara just stares back, eyes wide and trying to convey that he stop talking.

Kara coughs. "Yup, hilarious," she says brightly, shoving Adam back towards the kitchen. "We're done with pictures! You go get ready for the trick-or-treaters while we get out of here, okay?"

They finally, _finally_ make their way outside ten minutes later. Other children are already milling about the floor with their families; Kara sees quite a few people dressed like Superman and she winks in Carter's direction when he points it out. (No other parents besides Kara are dressed up, but whatever. That's their loss.)

"Ready to make Halloween fun?" Kara asks Lena as they walk to the first door, bumping her shoulder against Lena's when Lena shakes her head.

"This is already fun," Lena admits after a beat, quiet in her admission like she isn't sure where she's taking it. "Thank you for inviting me along, Kara."

"You haven't seen anything yet," Kara promises as Carter knocks eagerly on the door. "Wait until we get to Halloween games. You're going to love it."

Lena smiles, slow and careful. "Then I guess you're going to have to blow my mind, Supergirl," she says. "I look forward to it."

(And if her words make Kara's heart beat a little faster, well, she blames it on the night's excitement.)

.

.

.

James is a complete softie when it comes to kids.

That in itself is old news, of course. James Olsen is a pushover when it comes to cuteness. But somehow it's more apparent whenever he comes over to visit Kara and Mike; he's always taking pictures of Mike, asleep or awake, and he's always the first to volunteer to try and help with the bottle feeding situation (which remains fruitless, but they're getting there).

"Do you want kids, James?" Kara asks him once when they're out at the grocery store, Mike in his car seat snugly fit atop the cart they're pushing. He's been asleep since the car ride, too tired to wait up to eat.

James seems in similar shape, to be completely honest. He's just left work and his eyes are tired and his walk is a little slow but every time he catches sight of Mike he just _brightens_ , smiling in that way that Mike would surely smile back at if he were awake.

"I do," James says after a moment of deliberation. He isn't thrown off by the question; he keeps walking as easily as before, stopping to yank open one of the freezer aisle doors to get the waffles Winn likes. "I can't see myself with kids too soon in the future, but yeah. Maybe someday."

"You'd be a great dad," Kara says, reaching over him to get some waffles for herself too.

James shrugs. "I mean, I'd hope so," he says, but it's not said jokingly. There's something pensive in his tone, something that gives him pause about the idea, and Kara immediately feels bad for bring it up.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes, biting her lip. "Was that—rude?"

"What? No, no," James says. "I've just been thinking about it a lot. It seems like we're all growing up after all."

"Mature adults," Kara sighs. "Our college professors would be losing their minds."

James grins. "Does it give you flashbacks?"

Kara shudders. "I don't want to think about it," she says, and James laughs.

"I've been thinking," he says. "Winn has never even formally moved in, you know? We've been dating so long and he's always over at my place anyway. I kind of want to—take the first step. Move us forward."

"You're going to ask him to move in? That's awesome, James! You're beating Alex to it," Kara says. "I mean, yours is long overdue, but..."

The waffles suddenly become super interesting, because James's gaze drops to them. "No, not just move in," he says. "I...want to ask him to marry me."

" _James_!" Kara shrieks. She's so loud that at least two people in the aisle turn to give her weird looks, but she doesn't care; she's too busy trying to hug the living daylights out of him.

He laughs against her head, arms coming to wrap around her waist when her own arms barely come up to squeeze his broad shoulders. "So you think I'm not crazy, right? I should do this?"

"Yes, yes, _yes_!" Kara cries, beaming so hard it hards. "I'm so happy for you. Oh my God."

"Kara, I haven't even proposed yet," James reminds her when they part, but his smile is so wide it's hard for them both to remember. "I don't even have a ring."

"Well get one!" Kara smacks his arm in her excitement, already overflowing with the idea of a wedding. "He's going to say yes. And cry. Maybe both."

"...are _you_ crying?" James leans in to poke at Kara's cheek.

Okay, yes, maybe she is. Just a little. But she says, " _No_ ," she bats his finger away. "And if I was, they'd be happy tears. Because I'm happy. And you're happy. And we're all—we're _all_ happy."

"Who would've thought, huh?" James says softly, placing an arm around her shoulders as they both look down at where Mike is still sleeping. James tucks Mike's blanket around him more securely and Kara strokes Mike's gloved hand—just because they can—and then they're off again.

"Okay, we still need to go to the baking aisle," Kara says, letting James push the cart as she pulls up her grocery list on her phone. "I'm going to make cupcakes tomorrow and I need liners for the pan."

"Why are you making cupcakes tomorrow?" James asks. "Please reconsider. Whoever you're poisoning doesn't deserve it."

"Ha ha," Kara deadpans. "This is for Carter's school's bake sale. Adam would do it, but he's still got some loose ends to tie up at work. He's going to go back for at least another two weeks."

James nods, because Kara's told everyone about Adam's plan. Still, "So why are you going to poison Carter's classmates?"

"...Alex is going to help," Kara argues weakly.

"Even worse." James grimaces. "I hope that poor kid knows what he's getting into."

"Don't be mean, James," Kara huffs. "Oh, wait! I forgot I was supposed to get some napkins. Mike and I are meeting Lena for lunch tomorrow and she never has any. Hey, maybe I should ask her if she wants to help with the cupcakes too..."

"If she's a good baker, then I say go for it," James says. "Maybe she can make them edible."

"I said don't be _mean_ , James."

.

.

.

"Why can't you make it, though?" Kara pouts even if Alex can't see it over the phone, juggling the flour in both hands and balancing the measuring cup on top of it. "Lena's coming!"

"Exactly. You won't need me there," Alex says. "And besides, Maggie and I haven't had a night to ourselves in a while."

"I'll still _need_ you," Kara counters petulantly. "How am I supposed to keep track of things? You're my recipe-reader!"

"You can take over my job. Maybe it's time for a change," Alex suggests. "Also, maybe Lena can make your cupcakes edible if she does the actual work."

"That's rude. You're a rude sister." Kara busies herself with taking out the bowls, pans, and spoons she'll need next. "I really needed you to try feeding Mike today. He's never going to switch to a bottle at this rate."

"You know, _you_ can just try to feed him with the bottle," Alex says.

"But I want someone else to do it first. How am I going to let him bond with other people otherwise?"

There's a rustle over the line, like Maggie's whispered something (because she's listening in, like she always does). "What if you let Lena try?" Alex asks. "You know. Since she's around a lot anyway."

Kara is just opening up the flour when Alex asks, and maybe she spills a little. Just a bit. "That's—no. I can't do that," she says, forlornly wiping her hands off on her shirt before she realizes what she's doing. "I wouldn't want to burden her. She doesn't come over to take care of my son, she comes over for—for me. Wait. That sounds weird."

"That's _exactly_ why she comes over," Maggie cuts in, midst Alex's quiet hiss of _Maggie._ "What? Am I wrong? That's what friends _do_ , Danvers."

Kara's phone lights up with a text. It's Lena, saying that she's just coming up. Kara smiles at the message, forgetting for a second that Alex and Maggie are still on the line until Alex says,

"Alright, I've got to go. Our reservation is in an hour and we're not ready. Call me if you burn down Cat's apartment, okay?"

"Rude sister," Kara reiterates before they say their goodbyes. Then Kara fixes her glasses and goes to get the door when Lena rings the doorbell, already accustomed to the easy way Lena smiles and walks in like she's done so many times before.

"I see you got started without me," Lena says, gesturing to Kara's shirt.

"I just spilled the flour a little," Kara defends herself. "It gets everywhere! It's not my fault."

"Oh, of course not," teases Lena. Her hand goes and brushes at Kara's shoulders, teeth catching her bottom lip as she surveys Kara in mock seriousness. "You do know your shirt is inside out, right?"

Kara pinches the corner of her shirt in dismay. "Wait, it is? Golly, I must have changed it in a rush."

"Did you...did you just say _golly_?"

"Uh. Yes?"

Lena shakes her head. "You are so _weird_ ," she says fondly, her voice so soft and warm that Kara feels herself blush. "So. Cupcakes, right? I'm more of a pie girl myself, but I dabble in cakes occasionally."

Kara follows Lena to the kitchen, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck when Lena notices the mess of flour. "So you bake?" she blurts out before Lena can ask about it.

"Sometimes," Lena says. She doesn't seem put off by the mess; she's already sorting through the ingredients Kara has set out. "I have a recipe I live by whenever I make cupcakes. Do you have one?"

"I usually just get one online," Kara admits.

Lena clicks her tongue. "Well," she says. "Mine it is. Do you trust me?"

"I trust you more than I trust me," Kara says. "I'm not that great at baking, so..."

Lena smirks. "Then I guess it's lucky I'm here, isn't it?"

They get started soon after. Kara does the measuring of everything (Lena says she hardly takes exact measurements when she does this alone, but she counts this as a teaching exercise and instructs Kara to do as she's told) while Lena mixes and sets things aside and, well, does everything else.

Lena is mixing the batter while Kara watches, chin in her hands and struck with the thought that she _is_ so lucky that she gets to see Lena like this, with flour dusted on her cheek and hairs escaping her ponytail. Kara's forgotten what it feels like to just _memorize_ someone, but at the same time, she feels like even if she only got to know little bits of Lena that would be okay too. Lena is just _Lena_ and she's interesting and witty and kind and Kara wonders how the rest of the city doesn't seem to realize how great she is. Kara already knows so many things about her (she's horrible at sewing, refuses to do karaoke, drinks wine more often than she likes to admit, can read a large novel in a day, and so much more), but every day Lena manages to find ways to surprise her.

"Hey," Kara says. "Can I ask for your advice with something?"

Lena looks up from the bowl in her hands. "Sure," she says. "With what?"

"It's...about Adam," Kara says. This time she's sure she isn't imagining it; Lena seems to bristle at the mention of him, but the discomfort passes as quick as it came.

"Oh?" is all Lena says, simply. It's unassuming in a casual way, but Kara wonders—again—what issues Lena has with Adam.

But Kara doesn't voice that yet. Instead she continues, "He's decided to take some time off of work so he can be around more for Mike. I know we've been in a good place for a while, but it's still been pretty hard. We barely even dated before Mike was born and now suddenly I live with him and I'm supposed to trust him but it's—it's only been four months. I barely _know_ him. Am I selfish? I really don't know how I feel about this. I should be happy but it just feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"You're not selfish," Lena promises, quick enough in saying so that Kara's barely finished speaking when she chimes in. For the rest of Kara's rant, she takes a minute or two of pondering before she says, "I don't know Adam very well either, but I think you should give him a chance. You've got nothing to lose, right?"

"Right," Kara echoes. "Plus this means I can go back to work. If I want."

"Is that what you want?" Lena studies Kara's face carefully. "You don't seem too excited about that."

Kara sighs. "It's complicated. Mike's still so young...and he needs me. The whole bottle thing isn't sticking."

"Ah," Lena says, catching on. "He still hasn't been able to drink from a bottle yet."

"He won't take it from anyone. Not Adam, not Eliza, not Alex or Maggie or James or Winn..." Kara exhales in frustration just by thinking about it. "I don't know. He'll just cry until I give up and feed him. He's such a stubborn baby."

Lena goes back to mixing, humming noncommittally as she does. "What," she says after a moment, hesitating, "what if I give it a try? I don't mean to overstep, but if I can help in any way, I'd like to."

"You would do that?" Kara is touched—she _is_ —but at the same time it's hard to believe that Lena doesn't-carry-babies-if-she-can-help-it Luthor would willingly suggest something like this.

"Of course," Lena says with a shrug, still not looking up. As if fate, the baby monitor suddenly crackles to life and Kara looks over at Lena hesitantly, afraid to even say a word until Lena's absolutely sure. Lena looks up at the sound, a strange half-laugh, half-huff escaping her mouth. "Is that my cue?"

"You don't have t—"

"Kara. I meant it. I want to help any way that I can," Lena says, setting down the bowl. "So what can I do?"

Unsurprisingly, Lena manages—despite being stiff in holding him at first—to get Mike to start to suck on the bottle. Kara stays behind them, far enough so Mike can't see her and fuss for her instead, but she can see the way Mike seems to relax in Lena's arms. Lena strokes Mike's hair and speaks to him so softly Kara can't hear but it _works_ and maybe it's just a coincidence but maybe it's not; that marvel over Lena Luthor's existence hits her again.

(And Lena's even smiling by the time Mike starts to suck away, eyes so soft and smile so serene that Kara wishes she could immortalize the moment forever.)

.

.

.

Mike is oddly calm this morning.

Kara has foregone the stroller this time when she goes to meet Lena for lunch, opting instead to carry Mike's car seat. It's nice that it doubles as a baby carrier because she's able to hold the handle with both hands and still balance the pizza she's brought on top of it (though one of the security guards, Hugo, has to open the door for her).

"Thanks, Hugo!" Kara tells him gratefully. "Are you going to lunch yet?"

"On my way," he assures her, tipping his hat because it always makes Kara laugh. (Lena has the _nicest_ employees.) He even waves hello to Mike, who is awake and sucking on his pacifier.

Kara goes up the elevator with only a little more of Hugo's help. She knows the way to Lena's office by now, but she's always reassured when she sees Jess's desk there. But when Kara gets to Lena's floor, she is met with a uncharacteristic sight: Jess is sitting at her desk. Her headset is off and she seems to be glaring a hole into Lena's door, fingernails tapping so insistently on the wood it's as if she's sending out an urgent message in Morse code. She doesn't seem to be doing anything else, which is very unlike her; Jess is always active, moving around the building doing anything and everything.

"Hey Jess," Kara calls out, cautious as she approaches. "Is Lena done with her twelve o' clock yet?"

Jess seems to blink out of her anger in an instant. "Kara? What are you doing here?" She just looks confused now, staring up at Kara blankly as if she's staring at a complete stranger.

"Um. It's...Lena's lunch hour, isn't it?" Kara asks slowly.

Jess's hands come up to cup her mouth. "Oh no. I forgot—I meant to cancel with you on Lena's behalf," she breathes disbelievingly. "I'm sorry, Kara. Now isn't a good time."

"Oh. Is she...busy?" Kara finds her gaze wandering to the exact spot Jess was glaring at earlier, though it's much more wistfully. She'd wanted so bad to tell Lena all about the success of Carter's bake sale, and about Mike's now-successful transition to a bottle because Kara hasn't breastfed him in a whole week.

"Busy. Sure," Jess snorts. "I'd say go and check for yourself, but..." She gestures to the baby carrier slash car seat and rolls her eyes. Kara watches, confused, as Jess turns to her computer and starts it up like nothing's happened.

"Can I?" slips out of Kara's mouth before she can stop herself. There's something Jess isn't telling her and at that moment nothing but bad scenarios are running through Kara's mind. Is Lena sad? Is Lena angry? Is Lena _okay_?

Jess stops typing. Something seems to occur to her because suddenly her eyes brighten and she says, "You know what? I'm sure she'd love that. Why don't you leave your...son here. I'll watch him for you."

"Oh I couldn't ask you to—"

But Jess is already taking the baby carrier out of Kara's hands and setting it atop her desk, pushing back the top. There's no doubt in Kara's mind that Jess isn't fond of kids (she nearly grimaces at the sight of Mike drooling over his chin) but Kara's worry for Lena is what leads her to relapsing and leaving Mike there for the moment. She trusts Jess, after all. (Well, she trusts Lena's trust in Jess.)

Kara tries knocking on Lena's office door first. But the door sort of just...falls open and Kara's not about to knock on an opened door so she's not proud to admit that she walks in.

"Lena?" she says, about to apologize for the intrusion when she sees something that makes her freeze in her tracks.

Lena is standing in the middle of her office with a woman. No, Lena is backing _away_ from that same woman like she's been burned, even though just seconds ago—seconds Kara was there for—she had had her hands wound in the other woman's hair. _Kissing_ that same woman.

"Kara?" Lena says. "I—what are you doing here?"

Kara feels a strong, nagging _something_ in her chest, an emotion bubbling in her throat that makes her unable to form words. She is as dumbstruck by the situation as she is sort of _upset_ , but that makes no sense. Lena and the mystery woman have their own business and that's no right of Kara's, to feel weird about it. It's jarring in itself to see Lena so undone, lipstick smudged and hair falling out of her bun, jaw slack in her own confusion as she waits for Kara to speak.

The other woman in the room laughs suddenly, the sound sharp enough that Lena and Kara both swivel their heads to look. "This is the girl the press is so sure you're dating, right?" she says. "Well. I never thought I'd get the chance to meet her. Veronica Sinclair," she says to Kara, holding out her hand. "And you must be Cat Grant's protégée."

"Uh, sort of? I—I'm Kara. Danvers," Kara tacks on belatedly, squeezing Veronica's hand harder than intended in her nervousness. "I am _so_ sorry to barge in like this. I'll—I'll go."

"Oh no, you don't have to go," Veronica says, smirking. It's a look Kara's seen on Lena's face before—a coy, teasing smirk—but it seems haughty when Veronica does it. Veronica reaches over and thumbs a smudge of lipstick off the corner of Lena's mouth almost absentmindedly, and Kara feels a nagging urge to look away. "I was just on my way out."

"No, that's—" Kara staggers backward, tripping on nothing. "I'm sorry. I just, I didn't know." She tries to meet Lena's eyes to convey her apology, but Lena is just looking at Veronica in a way that Kara can't quite decipher. It's something akin to indecisiveness, something bordering on worry, but Veronica doesn't seem fazed.

"That's okay," Veronica says. "You wouldn't have known I was here. I did stop by unexpectedly, after all." She goes in for a quick kiss with Lena, but her lips only make it to the flush of Lena's cheek when Lena angles her head away. Veronica looks hardly disappointed when she draws away, directing a cool smile in Kara's direction as she makes her way towards the door. "Enjoy the rest of your day, you two."

The door closing shut behind Veronica is enough to spur Kara into action, and she begins to apologize a mile a minute.

"I really didn't mean to barge into your office like that. I just thought you'd be alone, and the door was open, and—"

"Kara," Lena cuts her off, so simply but so desperately . "It's not...it's not what it looks like. Veronica, she's—she's my ex. And I—"

"You don't need to explain! No. Yeah. That's—whatever you guys do is your business," Kara interrupts, waving Lena's explanation away. "Like I said, I shouldn't have walked in. That was weird. Uh. I actually...I actually was going to go see James. So I should go, too. And Jess is watching Mike so I should make sure he's okay. Um."

"Right," Lena agrees weakly. "I'll, I'll text you."

"Yes. And I'll...text you back," Kara says, already fumbling to get the door open as she shouts out a nervous goodbye and makes a beeline for Jess's desk. _This is not jealousy this is not jealousy this is not jealousy this is not—_

(It is absolutely jealousy and she's screwed.)

* * *

 **i changed my url but i didn't want to go back and edit the last chapters so if you want to find me over on tumblr you can find me at pippytmi now! come talk to me about this fic. or like, supercorp in general**


	7. and for sure you're way too cool for me

**this chapter is a bit longer but coincidentally lacking a part i had to cut. hopefully next chapter will wrap up this beginning half of the story and lead into the much gayer second half lol**

 **HUGE THANKS to my beta Katie. you can find her on tumblr over at theycallmetablemama. she's a lifesaver! and the reason why this is even readable!**

* * *

Eliza catches Kara sneaking a glance at the clock again.

"Sweetheart," Eliza says gently, one of her hands coming to cover Kara's over the kitchen table. "Don't worry. They'll be back soon."

The clock ticks innocently in the background, a quiet but constant reminder that it's been an hour since Adam and Mike left for Mike's second round of vaccinations. And Adam hasn't once contacted Kara.

"Kara," Eliza says, squeezing her daughter's hand. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Kara feels foolish all of a sudden, pulling her hand away in favor of tracing the edge of the wooden table. "I wish I went with them," she admits when Eliza keeps looking at her imploringly. "But I would've felt awkward because Adam's taking his new girlfriend. And since he didn't go last time, I figured I could stand to do the same. But it's—it's killing me, not knowing how they're doing."

"I know, honey," Eliza says, soft empathy in her voice. "He's your baby boy. You're allowed to worry."

"It feels stupid," Kara sighs, pushing her chair out. She goes to the dishes drying on the rack and starts to dry them manually, just to give her hands something productive to do. (Something that's not check her phone every two seconds, anyway).

"There is nothing stupid about it, I promise," Eliza says, getting up to follow. Then she's right there next to Kara, shoulder warm and solid against hers as she reaches for a second dish towel to help. "Now come on, get your mind off it. Tell me what your plan is with your job."

Kara's been sleeping on this for days. Weeks, even, when she thinks hard enough about it. But she feels like she's finally going in the right direction.

"I'm going back," Kara says. Breathes it, really, hesitant to finally say it aloud. "I've been gone too long. I love Mike and being here for him but it's—it's _boring_. And I miss it."

"I'm so glad," Eliza says, a patient smile forming on her lips as she expertly wipes at a plate. She doesn't look surprised at the news, which makes sense; she's always been perceptive of what occurs in her daughters' lives, and Kara's restlessness at being home so often surely did not go unnoticed. "You know, if you ever need a babysitter, I'm here. I know Adam has you covered, but just in case."

"Thank you, Eliza," Kara says, biting her lip to keep tears from spilling. "I'll keep that in mind."

Eliza smiles. "That's what grandmas are here for," she says, but as soon as the words leave her she feigns a grimace. "Oh God, it sounds worse aloud. Maybe we'll just have him call me Eliza too. Keep my gray hairs away."

"Too late, you said it," Kara laughs, batting away the towel when Eliza flicks it at her playfully.

"Now tell me what's going on with you," Eliza says. "I see you in the news every other week, pictured with that girl...what's her name, Lana or something."

"Lena," Kara finishes, her cheeks flushing involuntarily. "She's my friend."

"Oh, that's right. Lena," Eliza says. "Your neighbor, right?"

"Yes, even if the press seems to think otherwise," Kara sighs. "It's ridiculous how much they fixate on her love life. Lena doesn't care because she says they're just trying to showcase positivity and stuff, but it just feels so... _invasive_. Plus, she has a—a— _someone_ in her life, so the press should focus on her instead!"

"Now that I didn't know," Eliza says. "Do you know her?"

Kara shrugs. "We've met," she says. "I wouldn't say I know her very well. Lena doesn't even talk about her." It's with a sick sense of satisfaction that she says this, because surely Veronica would have been more important to Lena if Kara knew about her, right?

(At the same time, it could also be very telling if Lena didn't trust her enough to confide in her about Veronica. It's a toss-up that Kara honestly hopes leans towards the former.)

"Whereas you mention Lena all the time," Eliza says. It's not judgmental, just a simple statement. When Kara turns her head, Eliza is gazing right at her, head titled openly, sympathetic for a reason Kara doesn't realize at first. "It's okay to want to date again, you know."

"Eliza," Kara whines. "Lena's just my friend."

"Who said anything about Lena?" Eliza teases, smiling even when Kara rolls her eyes. "I went through this with your sister, you know. I feel like I should be a relationship guru by now. What do you think?"

" _Elizaaa_."

"I'm just saying that you should follow your heart, sweetie," Eliza says, setting down the towel and reaching over to cup Kara's face between her hands. "I like seeing you happy. And I know you're happy with Mike in your life now. But I haven't seen you this hung up on anyone since Adam left."

"I wasn't even hung up on him," Kara protests. "I was more hung up on not having the picture-perfect family stuff. It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it _does_." Eliza's grip tightens, forcing Kara to look her in the eyes. "Do you remember when you first came home? You were thirteen and you and Alex clashed heads right away because you brought a Cinderella poster and she hated fairytales. But you, you _loved_ fairytales. You were already a little romantic."

"Alex just hated life because she was an angsty teenager," Kara says. "I'll never forgive her for her punk rock phase."

"The point is," Eliza says, ignoring the jab at her eldest daughter, "that you're allowed to want your fairytale even now."

Kara snorts, breaking away from Eliza's hold. "I'm a little old for that," she says, going back to the dishes. "I don't even know if I like her. Or girls in general. Maybe I just like that she's here and she's my friend. Maybe I just like the idea of someone who loves Mike as much as I do so we can be a family."

"If that were the case, you'd already be dating Adam," Eliza says, ever so patient even when Kara feels tired of the conversation. "You don't have to do anything you'll regret, Kara. But what's wrong with trying?"

 _The probability of failure_ , the treacherous voice in the back of her head whispers.

Kara shakes her head. "I don't want to lose her," she says instead. "She's new to town and she just wants a friend. I want to be here for her anyway she wants me. And trust me, she doesn't want me like that."

"Well, if you're sure," says Eliza. "But I've seen the pictures. The way that girl looks at you..." She trails off, shaking her own head. "It reminds me of the way your sister looks at Maggie."

Kara focuses on drying a cup and tries not to digest the words. But she fails, because hope is a dastardly thing. She imagines a perfect world: a world where she can stroll right into Lena's office and ask her out. But she's never asked anyone out. And she's never had to deal with a third party. The last time she dealt with such intense jealousy over someone else was when she fell head over heels for James in college; even then, the jealousy had abandoned her the minute he and his girlfriend broke up. Mostly because Kara had found a new crush in her fickle young-college-days (that actually aren't that far off), but still.

"Let's talk about you instead," Kara says, changing the subject. "How's the retired life treating you?"

It's easy to lose track of time when Eliza's here. It's comforting to hear about what she's been up to, the people she's been talking to, the books she's been reading; it's enough to even distract her from the absence of Mike.

Until, of course, the front door bangs open.

Adam is carrying Mike in one hand, carseat in the other, and poor Mike is screaming his head off. Kara jumps up from the couch she and Eliza had migrated to after the dishes were done, rushing to take Mike before Adam can even say a word.

"I don't know what he wants," Adam says helplessly. "I fed him before the appointment, and he burped, and his diaper isn't full, so..."

"He's probably just in shock, poor thing," Eliza says. "Here, Adam, let me help you with your things."

Kara presses her cheek to Mike's head and strokes the back of his neck with her thumb, lets his small body quiver with sobs. "It's okay, Mike," she whispers into his hair. "Mommy's here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Behind her, Eliza helps Adam unpack the baby bag and put the carseat away, but they're the least of Kara's worries. She focuses on _Mike_ , on the reassuring weight of him in her arms, on the warmth of his body, on the brush of his hair against her neck.

Eventually he slips into sleep. Adam leaves the house with a hasty apology, saying something about his girlfriend being downstairs, but Kara doesn't care. Eliza doesn't, either. They're both content to gaze at Mike once he's asleep in his bassinet, peaceful and small chest rising with each breath. Kara's eyes keep flickering to the bandages on his leg. Eliza's keep flickering to his head.

"Looks like he's got cradle's cap," Eliza notes. "Alex had that, too."

"I thought it was dandruff," Kara says. She's done her research on cradle's cap by now, but it's reassuring to have Eliza here to ask. "What should I do about it?"

"Nothing, if you don't want to. It won't bother him and it'll go away soon enough," Eliza says. "Shampooing more frequently might help, though."

Kara stores that information away for later. "Okay. Got it."

They stand in silence once more. Eliza's quiet laugh breaks through it a second later, though.

"He's gotten so _big_ ," she says.

Kara is inclined to agree; at four months, Mike is the chubbiest baby she's ever seen. He's been outgrowing his clothes quicker and quicker, but he also looks absolutely _adorable_ now that all his baby fat has come back.

"He's certainly been eating a lot," Kara jokes. "He hasn't taken an issue with the bottle yet. But sometimes he keeps trying to go back to my boobs."

"That's great, Kara! He's a fast learner," Eliza says, fond when she leans over to press a kiss to the sleeping baby's forehead. "They grow up so quick, don't they?"

"Yeah," Kara agrees, suddenly melancholy. Her son is growing up so fast and here she is, trying to leave him. "They do."

.

.

.

Alex takes three minutes and twenty-one seconds to answer her door.

Kara is still silently counting when the door swings open, Alex squinting at her curiously, hand still on the doorknob.

"You're trusting Adam with Mike for the night, or what?" Alex asks without preamble, looking a pajama-clad Kara up-and-down critically.

"Yes. Because I need you to do me a favor," Kara says.

"Shoot."

"Do you still have the number of that guy you met last week? The one you were trying to set me up with?"

Understanding dawns on Alex slowly, and then she's grinning. "You're going to go on a date?"

"I'm going to try," Kara says. "But if he's weird I'm going to hate you forever."

(Spoiler alert: he is not weird.)

Kara goes on the date a week later against her better judgement, because Lena's out with Veronica at some showing of a play Kara would've totally gone to see ("I didn't know you liked plays," Lena had said apologetically as she left her apartment). But Kara decides it's for the best if she goes on this date, to try and figure out if she really _does_ have a crush on Lena. Jealousy of someone hanging out with Lena aside, it'll be much easier to gauge her own feelings if she tries to go out with someone else for a change. Switch up her routine, try something new.

Jack Spheer is really, really wonderful. He's easily the best set-up Alex could have provided. He's new to town, an entrepreneur in every sense of the word, handsome and well-spoken and genuinely interesting to speak to. They're sitting in a restaurant Kara isn't sure she can afford with her maternity leave pay, a nice Italian place with fancy tablecloths and complimentary champagne. Coincidentally, a place Lena has once hinted they should go to together. So.

(That's already not a good start, thinking about Lena when Kara is on a date with someone else).

"Your sister mentioned that you work at CatCo?" Jack says, bringing Kara out of her thoughts. If he's noticed that Kara has spent the last minute or two spacing out, he doesn't mention it.

"Oh, yes," Kara replies. "I'm Cat Grant's assistant, actually."

"Now _that_ must be interesting," Jack says, interest piqued. "I've met her. She has quite a presence."

"You can say that again," Kara chuckles. "But it's great. She's great."

"So is there any chance you'll tell me all the secret Cat Grant stories the press doesn't get? The people back at the office will never believe it."

"Sorry, I'm sworn to secrecy," Kara says. "And I'm a good employee."

Jack laughs. "Loyal _and_ flattering to your boss. You know, if you're looking for a different job..."

The conversation flows so easily with Jack that it's hard to remember this is a first date. It feels more like she's out with a friend, smiling so much it's as if she's spending a night with Lena. (Ugh, wait, that's another Lena thought. Her brain needs to stop.)

"So what got you started in technology?" Kara asks, pushing the thought of Lena to the back of her mind.

Jack brightens at the question, delving into a long-winded talk about having a partner-in-crime in college, the two of them working out of a garage trying to cure cancer.

"She's off in her own world now, the business world," Jack chuckles. "Then again, Luthor Corp develops so much new technology I have a hard time believing she's not the reason behind that."

"Did you just say Luthor Corp?" Kara says. "As in, Lena Luthor?"

"Yes, she and I were friends in college," Jack says, clearly surprised by the sudden drop of the name. "Do you know her, too?"

"She's, um, a very good friend of mine," Kara says, blinking back her own surprise. _So much for not bringing up Lena_. "How new are you in town, exactly?"

"Very new," Jack assures her. "I haven't even had the chance to tell Lena that I'm here. Or else we could've met sooner, I assume." He smiles, so charming without even trying, and Kara really hates that her heart is focusing on the very sweet fact that Lena Luthor was working out of her garage in college trying to find a cure for cancer. It's such a Lena-like thing, so selfless and influential and _inspiring_.

"Then I guess you've missed everything exciting around her lately," Kara says with a slow, awkward laugh. "The press pictures the two of us a lot. Me and Lena, I mean."

"Ah," Jack hums. "That's right, the press does love her. They pictured us once last year when she came out to one of my conferences. Apparently it was the scandal of the century, a lesbian hugging her male friend."

"Oh, geez." Kara winces. "How does she deal with that? I'll never understand."

"She's always been a tough one," Jack says. "It takes a lot to really break her down, make her angry. She's one of the strongest women I know."

"She really is," Kara agrees, and oh God, this is an awful idea; all she's doing is talking about _Lena_ when she's not even supposed to be thinking about her. But it also feels so _nice_ to have someone else who understands how great Lena is. (Alex usually hangs up whenever Kara brings Lena up. She claims Kara talks too much about her).

"So tell me more about you," Jack says, thankfully shifting the topic from Lena. "I know you have a sister, so you can't be an only child."

"Yeah, Alex. She's the best." Kara sips at her wine and pauses, frowning when she realizes, "I don't think I know the story of how you two met."

"She left it for me to tell? Lovely," Jack says, grimacing dramatically. "There was a hit on my life, apparently. She saved me from a gunman waiting in my office, and because I suppose I'm rather daft, I decided the best way to thank her was ask her out. Ridiculous, right? New in town, hitting on the first girl I don't work with who said more than three words to me. Don't worry, she rejected me very kindly."

"How generous," Kara teases.

They talk more about family. Kara isn't sure if she's supposed to mention Mike. Of course she _wants_ to, but she doesn't know if there are some social norms around that. Is she supposed to wait to see if this will go anywhere first? Is she supposed to use it as a test, to see if he gets scared off easily? (Alex would love the latter).

Kara waits, slightly anxious, as Jack talks about his newborn nephew and how cute he is; he doesn't seem to have any distaste for babies. In fact, he's bright, animated, as he talks about the baby he's only visited about twice.

"I need to go visit my sister again soon," Jack says, smiling as though imagining his family. "I don't want to miss him growing up."

"Babies do grow up so quick," Kara says. And she hesitates, because here it is: an opening. She grasps it before it can get away, drumming her fingers nervously against the table and saying, "My son's four months and it seems like the time's just flown by."

She gauges Jack's journey of a reaction; first, the surprise at the mention of a child hits; second, an uneasy laugh escapes; third, a cough and a surprisingly calm smile.

"Sorry. I always thought kids were brought up on, say, a second date," Jack jokes, but it's clear he's at a loss of what to say.

Kara looks down at the table, internally berating herself. _Great_. So there _are_ guidlines about when to bring up kids. When she looks up again, Jack's smile has faded.

"I don't mean to be rude," Jack says. "Forgive me, it took me by surprise."

"You aren't being rude," Kara assures him. "I understand. People tend to be surprised that I have a son. They think I'm too young or just not the type..."

"Which seems like utter bullshit," Jack scoffs. "My mother was younger than you when she had me, I'm sure. I'm more surprised that you've had a chance to go on a date when your son's still so young."

Kara isn't sure if that's a dig at her or not. "He has a very capable father to watch him, so I don't see why not," she says slowly.

Jack's eyes widen. "Oh, God, I've stuck my foot in my mouth again. I didn't mean to imply anything about your parenting skills, it's—it was supposed to be a compliment."

"It's fine." Kara tries to smile reassuringly, but she's sure she misses the mark.

Suddenly all she wants is to leave. Not because Jack's a bad date, or even because she's insecure about Mike or herself. It's more because she doesn't _want_ to sit here and pretend like the truth of her feelings isn't glaringly obvious by now, like she isn't comparing the reaction Lena had to learning about Mike to Jack's in her head.

When the night is finally over, Kara hugs him goodnight and tells him the truth: that she had a great time. He seems to notice that her heart isn't in it, because he doesn't promise to call. Instead, he walks her to her car and smiles at her once, just as she's getting into the driver's side, before turning around and walking off into the night.

Kara drives to Alex's and curls up on her bed. Alex lays down next to her and doesn't ask about the date. Kara really wants to tell her about Lena, now more than ever, now when she's absolutely sure. But she can't.

Not yet.

.

.

.

"So I think I have a crush? Maybe. It's a possibility."

"...what are you doing in my house, Kara?"

Kara bites her lip and says, "Adam's watching Mike and I said I would go visit Alex but she's out with Maggie and besides I didn't want to tell _her_ , I wanted to tell _you_ and I have a spare key anyway, so—"

" _Why_ do you have a spare key to my house?"

"That's not _important_ , James. Can you scoot over?"

James groans, but does as she says and rolls over to the left side of the bed so Kara can get under his covers. "You know it's late, right?"

"You weren't sleeping," Kara says, picking up the book James was reading when she first walked into his bedroom. "Seriously? You're rereading _Little Women_? You know you just get upset whenever you read this."

"Because Beth _dies_ and it's not fair." James snatches the book back. "Why are you coming to me about your crush, anyway? Why not Alex?"

Kara picks at a seam on his covers and shrugs. "I just—didn't want to tell her, yet," she says. "Because it's a girl."

"Your crush?"

"Yes." Kara closes her eyes and waits for the questions—for the surprise—for anything.

She doesn't expect James to _chuckle_. "Okay, why does that matter?"

"What do you mean why does that matter? It matters!" Kara cries. "I was having a crisis like a month ago about this. I thought all people felt this way and it turns out, maybe that's just me? I thought I was straight for so long and now—"

"Wait, wait, wait. You thought you were straight?" James asks. "But when Lucy and I broke up, you called me stupid for, and I quote, 'letting the most beautiful woman in the world go.' And you didn't speak to me for three days because she stopped hanging out with us after that."

"Because Lucy was my friend!"

"Or because you had a crush on my girlfriend," James says.

Kara stares up at the ceiling. "Oh my God," she says. "You really _were_ stupid. She was great."

"I'm sorry, Kara," James says quietly. "Not for the Lucy thing, but. I really assumed you weren't straight for so long. I never realized you were struggling to come to terms with it for so long."

"It's not really struggling," Kara protests. "It's just—a thing. I thought all women had really weird I-want-to-be-this-girl's-friend-so-bad moments but it turns out that's just a _crush_. Which, in retrospect, I should've noticed sooner? But anyway then Lena came along and—"

"Your friend Lena, the CEO?"

"She's not the CEO. She's the, the C-something-else," Kara corrects. "But she is my _friend_ , James. And I think she has a girlfriend and I don't know what to do because you know I don't do well with crushes! How am I going to be able to stay her friend?"

James is quiet for a moment. "I'm not saying go run and tell her how you feel," he says after some thought, "but Kara, I've seen the way she looks at you. There's no way she doesn't feel the same way."

If Kara had wanted the same advice Eliza had given, she would have gone to Eliza. But she decides to challenge it instead, now that she's so much more sure she has a crush on Lena. "Are you forgetting the part where I said I think she has a girlfriend?" she sulks.

"Are you forgetting that you don't know when people have crushes on you?" James fires back.

"I resent that statement," Kara says. "I can so tell when people have crushes on me!"

"Freshman year of college. Winn followed you like a lost puppy for three months. You told Alex all he wanted to do was be your friend until he kissed you, and even then you blamed it on a drunk accident," James deadpans. "And let's not even get into the whole Adam thing."

"Hey, I knew _he_ liked me," Kara says triumphantly. "So. That counts."

"Only because he told you," James retorts. "You thought he was having a fling with Eve from the office because of how often he went to visit CatCo."

"He _did_ visit a lot! You can't blame me."

"...he showed up so often to see _you_ ," James sighs. "This is hopeless. Come on, tell me more about Lena and her supposed new girlfriend. What makes you think she's dating someone?"

"I saw her kissing someone," Kara says. "That's proof enough, I think."

"That doesn't have to mean anything. Did you talk to her about it?"

"She...tried to explain, but, it's her business! It's none of _my_ business, so it would be rude of me to ask," Kara says. "Besides, it's not like I care."

"But you do. Because you have a crush."

Kara's shoulders droop. "Okay, fine. I _care_. I hate feeling jealous," she complains. "Veronica is probably a very nice woman. And she will probably make Lena very happy. So I should get over it! Right?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" James nudges her with his elbow. "Hey. She's still your friend. Winn took it well when you told him you didn't like him like he liked you. Maybe this'll work out too."

"Or I can never bring this up again and go live as a spinster in Canada."

"Canada," James echoes. "Seriously?"

"What? They have free healthcare."

James doesn't let her change the subject quite so easily. "If you're fine with not telling her, then that's okay," he says. "But you'll regret it. Winn and I danced the line of friends and not friends for too long that we didn't even realize what we could have had much earlier."

"That worked out for _you_ and that's great, James! But either way, this wouldn't work out for me," Kara bemoans. "Either she doesn't like me back or she does but she's with someone else—it'll hurt no matter what. And I don't want to hurt her. Or Veronica."

James wraps an arm around her shoulders, warm and comforting, and Kara presses her face into the familiar safety of his chest and sighs, closing her eyes briefly. James has always been a perceptive person, so it's no surprise that he doesn't try to pry further. He understands what Kara's going through, at least.

"Hey," James says. "While you're here, want to check out some rings? Winn won't be home for another few hours. He's out with his geek squad."

"Yes, show me your favorites!" Kara squeals, reaching over him to grab his phone off his nightstand. "Did you save pictures?"

They spend the next two hours obsessively studying prices, diamond cuts, and arguing the aesthetic of rose gold versus white gold. It's one of Kara's favorite things in the world, to see James's wide, enamored smile show up so many times in such a small amount of time.

(Happy is a good look on him).

.

.

.

"—doesn't bother you that the press thinks you've suddenly adopted a kid?"

Kara's fist, prepared to knock on Lena's office door, stops mid-air at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. Suddenly the carseat in her other hand seems heavier, and she steps back from the door, other hand coming to grip the handle of the carseat securely. Jess is looking at her sympathetically when Kara turns around, shaking her head and mouthing "Veronica." That, or "Old pizza." (The former makes more sense.)

Kara squares her shoulders and turns back. Lena was the one who asked her to lunch, so she's going to meet Lena for lunch. She knocks before she can hear Lena's reply, and then—she's not proud of this—she strains to listen in on how they're taking the interruption. But all she catches wind of are small, hushed whispers, before she hears Lena call for her to come in.

"Lena?" Kara pushes open the door cautiously, not sure what to expect inside.

She's greeted with a relatively tame sight. Veronica is sitting on Lena's couch, Lena standing just behind her. But it's clear they had plans, too; Veronica is sipping from a glass of something—whiskey, maybe, because Lena keeps some in her office—and papers are strewn over the table like they're looking over something.

"Kara, hi." Lena still smiles when she greets her, warm even though she looks tired. Her hand keeps going up to rub her temple as she starts to gather said papers on the table, stacking and organizing meticulously. "I lost track of time, I'm sorry. You remember Veronica, right?"

"Yeah! Um, hi again," Kara says, setting Mike's carseat on Lena's desk and smiling best she can.

Veronica gives her a lazy half-wave in reply. "Nice to see you again, Kira," she says.

Kara narrows her eyes, about to reply that her name is _Kara_ , not Kira, and that only Ms. Grant can mispronounce her name like that—

"It's Kara," Lena corrects before Kara can say a word. She shoots Veronica a tired look, like there's something they've discussed that Veronica isn't picking up on, but Veronica just sips from her glass and shrugs.

"Kara, of course. My mistake," she says coolly. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Likewise," Kara replies carefully, unbuckling Mike from his seat. It's a lie and Lena _knows_ it's a lie, because when Kara looks over at her Lena looks relieved at Kara's answer.

Veronica seems thrown by the idea that Lena has actually mentioned her. She recovers quickly, though: "So this must be your son."

"Yup, this is Mike," Kara says, lifting her son up into her arms. He's awake, sucking on his fist; Kara gently uses one hand to remove it from his mouth.

"Well, color me surprised," Veronica says. "Here I thought Lena hated babies."

"No one hates babies," Kara scoffs. "That's—that's like saying you hate puppies! Or sunshine!"

"Funny," Veronica says. "Because I'm not fond of babies. Maybe I'm an anomaly."

Lena clears her throat, and the sound is enough to make both Veronica, Kara, and even Mike turn to her. "Veronica, didn't you have to get back to the office soon?" she asks. "I'll gladly have Jess show you out."

"Don't trouble her. I know the way," Veronica says. It's clear by the frosty edge to her voice that Lena said the wrong thing, and Lena's face falls. "See you later, Lena." She leaves without so much as a nod in Kara's direction, the door of Lena's office swinging shut with a loud clang.

Lena stares after her for a minute or two. Kara shifts uncomfortably in the silence, suddenly feeling like an outsider.

"I'm sorry," Kara blurts out when the silence gets stifling. "If I'd known she was going to be here, I would've cancelled, or—"

"It's alright, Kara," Lena interrupts with a shake of her head, going right back to the papers on the table. "You didn't know." Her shoulders are tense as she gathers the last of them, stacking them on her desk instead. "Is it okay if I order something? I'm not really feeling up to going out."

"Yeah, no, that's fine," Kara assures her. "I can feed Mike better in here anyway."

"That's right, he's using a bottle now," Lena says, lighting up. "I'm so glad. He certainly is growing up fast."

"He really is," Kara says quietly, fondly, gazing at her son so long she misses the hesitant look on Lena's face.

"I don't hate babies, you know," Lena says after a pregnant pause. "If that wasn't clear."

"I know you don't, Lena," Kara says. "You're a little scared of them, maybe—"

"I am _not_."

"You don't even like holding Mike," Kara giggles. "It's okay. I understand. Babies are so fragile and so little...not everyone is up to taking care of them. N-not that you have to feel guilty for it or anything! You're my friend and Mike's my responsibility and not yours, obviously—"

A burst of laughter interrupts Kara's rant. "You always make me feel better," Lena murmurs, looking suddenly fond herself. "Come on, let's order something. Do you feel like Chinese?"

"Is that a trick question?" Kara smiles—goofily, probably—as Lena smirks and goes to phone the order in.

Meanwhile, Kara readies Mike's bottle with one hand. She takes a seat on Lena's couch and cradles Mike to feed him; he's fussier than usual, nearly wiggling out of Kara's grasp before Kara can stick the bottle in his mouth. When he realizes he's actually being fed, he sinks back into Kara's chest, contentedly sucking away.

Lena sits down by her when she's done ordering, resting her head on her hand without saying a word.

"Hey," Kara says, unable to stay quiet too long when Lena looks as if she's about to fall asleep right then and there. "Are you okay?"

"What?" Lena's eyebrows raise in surprise. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just look...exhausted," Kara says. "You've been staying too late again, haven't you? Jess and I are going to need to drag you out of here at this rate."

Lena scoffs. "I work a reasonable amount for my position, Kara."

"You work harder than anyone here. Even your brother, the supposed CEO." Kara crinkles her nose. "Then again, I don't think I ever see him."

"He travels a lot. Conferences and whatnot." Lena shrugs. "I'm the one who keeps everything together while he's gone."

"And that's too much, isn't it?" Kara asks. "Hey. You know you're allowed to have a life, right? And like...leave the office? Make friends? Go"—here, she swallows before continuing—"out on a date or something."

There's something wistful about the look on Lena's face, traces of raw emotion in her soft smile. "You're my friend," she says. "Jess, too."

"Two friends isn't much to brag about," Kara says, trying to sound serious, but Lena just snorts.

"Unless Mike counts," she jokes, but sobers almost immediately, eyes dropping to the couch cushion as she picks at its seams. "I've never felt a need for friends. It's hard to remember that you're my friend sometimes."

"Because I'm not around enough?"

"No, of course not. It's just—it's hard to remember you're not like everyone else," Lena says vaguely, voice laced with frustration as though she's struggling to explain.

"And that's...a compliment?" Kara guesses.

Lena laughs. "Sort of," she says. "What I mean is, you're not just—using me as some way to get to my brother. Or using me for my prestigious name."

"Do people do that?" Kara furrows her brow. "But you're—you're so nice and friendly and people really just want to be your friend because you're a Luthor?"

"Well, it helps that I'm rich," Lena says, but the joke falls flat, because suddenly Lena is looking up and there are tears in the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kara. It's been such a stressful day, I—"

"You don't have to apologize." Kara wishes she could hug Lena—wishes she could show her how much she cares—but with Mike in her arms, the most she can do is settle for a smile she hopes is reassuring. "You can tell me anything, you know. If you want."

Lena's lips twitch. "Is it my turn to give you my spiel on not burdening you because you're my friend?"

"Lena Luthor, you would never be a burden," Kara says, and she declares it dramatically enough that she finally gets Lena to smile again.

It takes a minute for Lena to gather her thoughts. It doesn't take a genius to guess why; she keeps gazing off at the door Veronica left through.

"It's about Veronica," Lena says, finally. "She's one of the people who, um. Wanted me because of my name. We dated so briefly, I was so sure it didn't mean a thing, but—I can't shake this feeling that maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge. She apologized for everything and she seems sincere now, but I'm just not _sure_."

"And she wants to give your relationship another shot," Kara finishes. The thought makes her stomach go cold, her heart break a little.

"Yes," Lena sighs. "That, and do business together. The business I can handle, but I haven't dated in so long I'm afraid I've forgotten what it's like."

"Same here," Kara chuckles humorlessly. She decides not to bring up the failed date with Jack. (After all, that hardly counted). "I'm the lame mom whose baby keeps her home every night, so..."

"Oh, stop," Lena says, knocking her knee against Kara's. "You're a wonderful mom. And you're far from lame."

"Says the young, hot, and rich one," Kara retorts. Her cheeks color almost immediately because _oh God she just called Lena hot_. (And to her face, too). "I find it hard to believe you don't have tons of people asking you out."

"It's hard for people to ask me out if I don't leave my office, remember?" Lena says. "Maybe it's a sign. I should give Veronica another try because she's the only person actually asking me out."

"If you think so," Kara says, careful that she doesn't slip up and say something stupid like _she'd be the luckiest woman in the world to date you_. "If you really think she's changed, of course. Dating someone just because of their reputation just doesn't seem...nice."

"Nice?" Lena teases. "You can't say a rude word for your life, can you?"

"I'm trying to be diplomatic here, Lena. You're ruining it."

"Sorry," says Lena, pointedly not _sounding_ sorry. "You know, with this job, this move...it's been hard to put myself out there. Then again, I haven't put that much effort into it either."

"Yeah," Kara says. "I haven't put any effort in dating either." Again, she thinks about the underwhelming not-really-a-date with Jack, but doesn't feel any compelling urge to mention it.

"That's not true," Lena negates. "You said you were going to give Adam a chance."

Kara makes a face. " _Adam_?" she echoes. "That's—no. That ship has sailed, trust me. I meant give him a chance to be here for _Mike_."

Lena blinks, doing a double-take. "Oh," she says, dumbfounded. "I'm sorry, I just assumed, since you two live together and all..."

"Yeah, no." Kara winces. "Ms. Grant would never let me live that down."

Lena leans back into the couch with a frown, brow creased as though she's thinking hard. "But...why not just live separately?" she asks. Her eyes widen a second later, panicked. "Oh gosh, don't answer that. That was so rude of me to ask."

"It's okay," Kara laughs. "Friends tell each other this stuff, right? And it was just my way to get out of Alex's apartment. Adam offered, and I knew Alex wanted to ask Maggie to move in, so I figured why not? I had nothing to lose. And I didn't want to raise Mike alone."

"And Alex is...your sister?"

"Yeah," Kara says. "I don't even have my own apartment. I moved in with Alex when I got pregnant. Of course, then Alex met Maggie, so..."

"Poor timing, I suppose," Lena says, and Kara nods in agreement. They don't bring up Adam OR Veronica again until their food's arrived, and even then it's because Kara decides she'll risk the pain and asks,

"So are you going to give Veronica a chance?"

Lena chews thoughtfully on her chow mein, taking a few seconds longer than necessary to answer. "You know what? Why not," she decides. "I'll try to go on a date. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Good for you," Kara says, knocking her shoulder against Lena's, but her smile is forced, hollow.

(Lena doesn't notice.)

.

.

.

"I brought the tequila," Maggie announces, proudly holding the bottle over her head as she strides into Kara's apartment.

"And we also brought wine," Alex adds, shutting the front door behind her. True to her word, she's got a bag in her hands with two bottles of wine in it.

Kara pokes her head out of the kitchen, confused. "You guys know you were in charge of drinks, right? Like. _Actual_ drinks."

"That's exactly what we did. No one's sober for Thanksgiving, Kara," Maggie says. "And you can drink now, can't you?"

"Yes," Kara huffs. "But I was expecting something more seasonal. Like cider. Or even apple juice."

"Tequila shots are seasonal," Maggie offers, setting down the bottle on the kitchen table.

Alex shakes her head behind her, mouthing _they're not_ , as she hands off the wine to James. He and Winn have already been here for a while, and they're at work setting up the table; Winn immediately takes the tequila off the table and shoots Maggie a scandalized look.

"Good, you two are here," Eliza says, wiping her hands off on a towel as she comes out of the kitchen. "I need an extra hand with the mashed potatoes."

"I've got it," Maggie says, winking at Winn and shrugging off her leather jacket.

"Hey, _I_ don't want the tequila," Winn complains, handing off the bottle to James. "Don't let me near it. I won't be able to remember tonight."

James rolls his eyes like he's heard this dramatic declaration already. "Lightweight," he teases, nudging his boyfriend's waist out of the way as he sets down silverware.

"You're right and I have zero shame in admitting it. In fact, I'm not drinking tonight," Winn announces. "Kara and I can be sober buddies."

"Sorry Winn," Kara calls, "I'm actually not sober anymore. Perks of bottle feeding."

"...fine. Mike and I will be sober buddies. _He_ doesn't drink."

"Well, I'd hope not," James quips. "Stop monologuing and help me set out the plates already."

"James, you're already killing my vibe and the night hasn't started."

While the two bicker (good-naturedly of course), Alex makes her way over to Kara. Eliza and Maggie stand not too far off at the center island, peeling boiled potatoes, but they're so much in their own world that it's as if it's just her and Alex right now.

"Hey," Kara says, motioning with her head towards the oven. "I'm on turkey duty."

"Better than pie duty," Alex says, peering through the glass at the browning turkey. "So where's Adam?"

"At Cat's. He wanted to take Mike, but I said I'd feel better if he were here," Kara sighs. "I offered to let him host Cat and Carter here too, but apparently they have reservations for some fancy place. I don't know."

"Reservations on Thanksgiving? Wow, that's such a Cat thing," Alex says. "So how's it going with the plans to go back to work?"

"I'm going to officially start in two weeks," Kara says. "It's going to be hard to go back and only see Mike when I come home, but...it'll be worth it in the long run, right? Plus this apartment is pretty expensive. My rent isn't cheap."

"Adam makes you pay rent? Really?" Alex frowns.

"Everyone pays rent, Alex," Kara laughs. "It's not news."

"Considering this is his Mom's apartment, I'd think not. But I guess if she charges him he'd have to charge you," Alex says, pondering the situation. "Be honest, because I see Mike's out there chilling in a baby swing now. Does most of your money get eaten by the toys you buy him?"

"It's not a toy! It's something he can stay in when he's not doing tummy time and I can't be carrying him. It straps him in and everything! And he likes it," Kara says. "...and also I didn't buy it. It was a gift from Lena."

Alex raises an eyebrow. "Lena. Right. I'm surprised you didn't invite her over."

"Oh, I did," Kara says. She leaves out the part where she had even formally sent a card and everything, which Lena had laughed at when she found it in her mail. Lena had also regretfully told Kara that she already had plans with her mom and Lex, but it had been worth it, in Kara's opinion, to make Lena laugh. "She was busy."

"Of course you did," Alex says, rolling her eyes.. "You're too nice to everyone, you know."

"And also she's probably my best friend," Kara protests. "And I like her a lot."

Alex nods, gaze wandering over to where Eliza and Maggie are. "Yeah, I've gathered," she says absentmindedly.

Kara feels emboldened all of a sudden. Not for any reason she can pinpoint. Maybe because she's finally certain. Maybe because she's surrounded by the people she loves most. Maybe because she's ready to finally confide in her sister.

So she squares her shoulders, breathes, and says: "I like her as more than a friend, actually."

That gets Alex's attention. And Eliza's and Maggie's too, but Eliza is much more subdued about it; the only indication she's listening is the smallest quirk of her lips upward. (Maggie, on the other hand, blatantly stares.)

"Like what?" Alex prompts slowly.

Kara feels a blush creep up on the back of her neck, ears going hot. "I'm going to sound five if I say I like-like her," she mumbles. "But it's—you know."

"You have a crush on Lena?" Alex asks. She blinks in surprise, drawing back to study Kara's face as if trying to find out if she's lying from her eyes alone. "Kara. You never said anything."

"I wasn't sure," Kara says, and dammit, there are tears forming. "I wanted to tell you. But I didn't know _how_ a-and I didn't want you to think it was me making fun of you and your strength in coming out and—"

Alex cuts her off with a hug. A firm, strong hug that Kara sinks into, face burrowing into Alex's shoulder.

"Hey," Alex says, and it sounds like she's near tears, "I love you."

"I love you too," Kara half-laughs, half-hiccups through the tears that are starting to fall.

"And if Lena doesn't like you back, then she's stupid," Alex says into Kara's hair, squeezing her tighter.

"Now _you're_ the one sounding like a five-year-old, Alex."

Maggie's voice breaks through their little bubble eventually. "I think this calls for tequila shots," she declares. "The other Danvers came out! That's definitely a cause for celebrating."

"Uh, you know what would have been a good way to celebrate? With _cider_."

"Schott, shut up and take a shot. Lime or no lime?"

James takes a picture of Kara and Alex just as they're letting go of each other. He captures Alex mid-laugh, Kara wiping at a tear while smiling impossibly big. It's her favorite picture that he's ever taken.

.

.

.

Adam's out on a date and Kara doesn't think twice before she invites Lena over.

It's common for her to invite Lena over when Adam's not home. (Not so much when he is, because it seems borderline rude to ignore him all night to spend time with Lena). Sometimes they sit and watch movies; sometimes they bring out wine and talk about the stuff they couldn't during Lena's lunch; sometimes they exist quietly next to each other, Lena reading a book and Kara scrolling through CatCo's website and their latest articles.

Tonight is one of those quiet nights. Mike has fallen asleep on Kara's chest, and Kara stays sprawled on the couch as to not disturb him, glasses off as she studies the latest articles released online. Lena is curled up on the love seat by the couch, heels off and feet tucked under her, a book on her lap. One hand is propped up on the edge of the love seat, toying with the end of her ponytail absentmindedly as she flips through her book with the other.

"Hey," Kara says, quietly so as to not wake Mike, "how was your Thanksgiving?"

Lena looks up, nose scrunching adorably at the question. "Oh, it was fine," she says with a flippant wave of her hand. "Lex was late because his flight was delayed, so my mother and I went to go get Indian food instead of cooking."

"What? You should've told me!" Kara cries. "You and your mother could have come by the apartment. We had plenty of food."

"It's okay," Lena shrugs, "my mother likely wouldn't have wanted to come. So I assume your Thanksgiving was more successful? I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"It was nice, yeah," Kara says. "I finally came out to my sister."

The words give Lena pause. "You...came out?"

"Yeah. You know Alex is a lesbian," Kara explains, skin flushing in embarrassment because maybe she shouldn't have brought this up. "So I finally told her that I'm bi.." It's a half-truth, really. She didn't go so in detail with Alex on Thanksgiving beyond ranting about how beautiful Lena's eyes are while sort of drunk.

(She doesn't want to give Lena that version).

"I didn't know you were bi," Lena says, blinking. "But wow, that's huge, Kara. I'm, um, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Kara says, suddenly itching to not be so exposed to Lena's gaze. "Um. Sorry to ask, but can you maybe get Mike? I think he needs to go to his bed."

"Oh! Yes, let me help you."

When Lena picks him up, Mike wakes up. He takes a minute or two to get his bearings, but then he ultimately decides to start to cry.

"Oh no," Kara groans. "He _just_ fell asleep. I knew this would happen! Here, let me go get the rest of his bottle. He didn't finish it earlier."

She takes Mike back once she has it, and then she sits down and lets him eat. Blessedly, it seems that's what he wanted.

"So," Lena says, setting her book aside. "You're going back to work in two weeks, right? Are you ready?"

"As much as I'll ever be," Kara sighs. Then a horrible thought dawns on her. "Wait, when I go back I won't be able to keep our lunch dates anymore!"

"That's okay," Lena chuckles. "I'll miss them, but you'll need your job much more."

"It's not okay! Who's going to make sure you eat good lunch?" Kara ribs. "Jess lets you keep eating kale and quinoa. You'll never eat another slice of pizza if I'm not there."

"You're right. How soon can you go back, exactly?" Lena laughs, and Kara laughs along with her. Any weirdness about Kara's random outburst of her coming out is long gone, replaced only with a comfortableness Kara feels around Lena.

"Tell me about your mom," Kara says suddenly. "I don't think you mention her a lot."

Lena shrugs, leaning back into the love seat and propping her head up with her arm again, cheek leaning on her fist. "There's not much to tell, honestly," she says. "She works even more than me, so we don't see each other often. She and Lex work more closely together than Lex and I do, to be honest. But she tries, don't get me wrong. We're working things out."

"Because you think she loves Lex more than she loves you?" Kara guesses.

Lena's following smile is bittersweet. "You understand me better than she does," she says. "It's irrational of me to be jealous, I know."

"That's how Alex felt for the longest," Kara says, because this is something she's tried to help Eliza and Alex work through, too. "When Eliza formally adopted me, it was tough for Alex. She felt like she wasn't good enough, since her mom adopted another daughter."

"What a coincidence," Lena remarks. "I feel like because I'm adopted I'm not good enough."

"You _are_ ," Kara says. "If my opinion means anything."

Lena goes quiet. "It does," she says softly, finally, and her gaze is yearning when Kara meets it. "It means a lot."

Looking at Lena is like trying to look at the sun and Kara has to tear her eyes away, focusing instead on Mike, who is just finishing up his bottle.

"Do you want to hold him while I bring out his bassinet?" Kara asks when he's done, standing up and holding him out. "Or I can just set him in his swing."

"I can hold him, sure," Lena says, gingerly taking Mike when Kara hands him over. She's been making a considerable effort to hold Mike more often, as if Kara didn't need another reason to fall harder for her; Lena's more comforting than she gives herself credit, because Mike is always so content with her.

Kara goes to get the bassinet. Maybe Mike will sleep out there with them if they dim the lights a little.

"Okay, I got the—" Kara stops halfway when she notices the panicked, worried look on Lena's face. And the white throw up dripping down her shoulder. "Oh my God. Lena, I'm _so_ sorry, he usually doesn't throw up when he eats half a bottle, I'm—"

"I guess there's no need to burp him, huh?" Lena says, wincing just a little. "It's okay. I'll just go clean this off."

"Yes, of course! Um, I can get you a shirt to borrow," Kara says, hurrying to take Mike from Lena's arms. She cleans off Mike's chin (the rest of him is vomit-free, at least), and then she sets him down in his baby swing, putting the baby monitor by him just in case he decides to fuss.

Lena follows her to her room, and thankfully takes the T-shirt Kara hands her. "Lex would not let me live it down if I showed up to dinner in a soiled shirt," she says, immediately moving to unbutton her shirt before she remembers that Kara's still in the room. And Kara remembers that, too.

They're both blushing as Kara stammers, "Let me know if it doesn't fit, I can get you something else! Okay. Bye."

(She crashes on the doorway on the way out. So yeah. She's falling pretty hard.)

* * *

 **also i changed my url, so you can find me on tumblr over at pippytmi now! come talk to me over there ;)**


	8. you make me feel like i'm intoxicated

**you're all used to late updates by now, right? like it's a given? i'm so sorry - every time i say i'll try to update quicker i somehow outdo myself and update even later than last time! but anyway huge shout out to my beta katie (theycallmetablemama over on tumblr), she always read this shit over so quickly i love her for it.**

 **note: not as much mike in this chapter, but he's five months old at this point!**

* * *

The sound of elevator doors opening has never been so beautiful.

Kara feels lightheaded, like she's floating as she makes her way to her old desk. The temporary assistant is long gone, and Kara runs her hands over her wooden desk, tracing the smooth edges and the chips that have steadily formed over years of use. She sets to work filling it back up with her personal touches: pictures of her family, her laptop, the pink office supplies Alex bought as a joke that Kara doesn't go without.

It's as if she's never left. She steps back to survey her work, and catches Winn's eye; he grins at her from across the office, giving her a small salute she beams at in return. It feels so _good_ to be back.

The shininess of being back doesn't even vanish when Cat comes waltzing in ten minutes later, passive-aggressively smiling and saying something into her phone Kara doesn't catch. Before, Kara would've been apprehensive about it, prepared to make calls and tackle whatever new adjustments Cat is making to her schedule, but now it feels so familiar, it's wonderful.

"You'll have to excuse me, something's come up," Cat says when she's in earshot of Kara, rolling her eyes and hanging up just before she stops before Kara's desk. "Kiera, there you are. I needed caffeine two minutes ago."

"Your coffee's right here, Ms. Grant," Kara says. "And I've already prepared your schedule."

Cat takes the sunglasses off her face and sighs. "It's good to have you back," she says, uncharacteristically sentimental as she takes the cup. Then, as if remembering that everyone can hear her, she snaps her fingers and says, "Now get to work—I need you to tell Time Magazine I'm unavailable for the rest of the month. Say two months if they start to beg."

Kara smiles. "I've missed you too, Ms. Grant," she says.

(She could be imagining it, but she swears she sees a hint of a smile on Cat's lips as she leaves.)

The routine of working is familiar and comforting, but it's not until lunchtime rolls around that Kara realizes she's had a different routine for the past few months that she finds herself missing. Namely, she misses spending lunch with Lena—and spending so much time with Mike, too.

Kara sends a text to Lena as she eats lukewarm pasta at her desk, a simple _i miss you :(_ that Lena replies to with, _you live next door to me_.

 _i miss our lunch dates_ , Kara clarifies. _and i'm sure mike misses you too_.

Lena takes a while to text back. And when she does, it's with, _i miss them already too_.

A gentle clearing of a throat sounds, then, distracting Kara so much that her next forkful of pasta ends up on her keyboard instead of in her mouth.

"Forgive me," says a woman standing before Kara's desk, someone Kara's never seen before—but obviously has security clearance, if she's on this floor. "You're Ms. Grant's secretary?"

"Well, basically," Kara says, trying to be as dignified as someone with pasta sauce dripping onto her desk can be. "Ms. Grant is in a meeting right now, but if you want, I'm sure I can persuade her to squeeze you into her four o'clock—"

"I don't need a meeting with Ms. Grant," the woman says. "Not yet. My name is Alura Zorel, with Zorel & Astra Law. A client of mine is seeking an audience with your boss."

Kara winces. "Oh no. Is Idris Elba really pressing charges? Because she was drunk and believe me, she was a completely different woman six months ago."

"My firm doesn't deal with petty issues," Alura says. "I assure you, my client has only valuable concerns on your boss's actions."

"I'm pretty sure stealing Idris Elba's car is a little more than _petty_..."

"Defamation, Ms. Danvers," Alura interrupts. "It's a serious accusation, and I'd advise that you let your boss know the severity of the situation."

"Right, yeah," Kara agrees, taking out a piece of paper to write down the details. "So how do you spell 'defamation'?"

Alura ignores the question, instead handing Kara a card. "Contact me when your boss and her lawyer have their affairs in order," she says. "I'll be awaiting your call."

"Sorry, sorry," Kara says before Alura can leave, "but what did you say your client's name was?"

"Client-lawyer confidentiality, I'm afraid," Alura replies. "Leave me a message if I don't answer. Good day, Ms. Danvers."

Kara looks down at her desk and realizes she hasn't even set out her name tag. Whoever this lawyer is, she's certainly done her research.

.

.

.

"That tree's not going to fit."

"It's absolutely going to fit. Come on, give me a hand." Adam drags the front of the tree in, leaving a mess of pine needles in its wake.

"Isn't it a little early for Christmas decorating?" Kara wrinkles her nose, moving to set Mike in his baby swing. "How did you even get that up here?"

"I have my ways," Adam grunts, dropping the tree halfway into the living room. His cheeks are flushed red from the cold, but he's grinning anyway. "Besides, it's a Foster tradition. Decorate December 1st."

"I don't think I even own any Christmas decorations," Kara says, stepping away from the swing once Mike's properly strapped in. The Danvers family has never been huge on decorating; Christmas has always been a modest affair.

"That's fine, I've got plenty," Adam says. "Of course, no lights for outside. But we can set them around inside here, maybe."

Kara goes to help him carry the tree to a proper place. She sets a tree skirt around it as Adam vacuums up the pine needles from the door up, yelling over the sound that the neighbors will probably complain about the state of the hallway.

"You really didn't think this through," Kara says once the vacuum is off, studying the way the tree towers over her head.

"What? It's perfect," Adam says, setting his hands on his hips as he proudly follows Kara's line of sight. "What do you say? Want to help?"

This is the longest they've been together in a while, Kara not off at Alex's and Adam not having his girlfriend over. It's sort of nice. Kara blasts Christmas music; Adam puts a Santa hat on Mike's head; they sort through piles of ornaments from Adam's childhood and laugh at the odd handmade decorations a young Adam made.

"Cat didn't keep any of this?" Kara asks, running her hands over a clumsily-painted wooden Santa. It's got blue skin and a green beard and looks downright demonic, but Adam laughs when he sees it all the same.

But that laughter dies as soon as Kara's question comes out. "Well, I didn't know her then," Adam says slowly; he tosses a glass ornament from hand to hand, avoiding Kara's eyes. "My dad and I were kind of all we had. For a while."

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot," Kara apologizes, feeling like an asshole for bringing it up. She remembers being the one to even push for Cat to contact her son—to finally meet him—after years of doing nothing but wire Adam money and send him the occasional birthday card. It's likely been an ordeal for the both of them.

Adam shrugs. "It's cool," he says. "Besides, can you imagine my mom hoarding shit like this? It's not her thing."

"I don't know," Kara says. "Carter's likely got some painted Santas of his own. None as nice as this one, though. You have some serious skill. Have you ever considered selling some of your work?"

Her faux review seems to do the trick, because a second later Adam's laughing and shaking his head. "Oh yeah," he plays along. "But no one could afford me. My work's quality."

"Right, how silly of me," Kara jokes, setting the trinket down and pulling out a pretty snowflake to study instead. When she looks up to ask Adam about it, she finds him gazing at her, face unreadable. "Hey," she says. "What's wrong?"

He blinks. "Nothing. Yeah, no, it's nothing," he says, getting up off the floor. "It's just—you know me a lot."

"I guess," Kara says. "We did have a son together, so..."

Adam chuckles. "Not just that," he says. "It's really easy to talk to you, you know." He lowers the music, busying himself with untangling the lights.

"Well, we are friends," Kara says. "Aren't we?"

Adam gives her a half-smile that isn't exactly happy. Bittersweet, maybe. "Yeah," he says after a moment. "Yeah, we are."

Something's switched, suddenly, as if there's something weighing him down that he's just been reminded of. Kara doesn't ask what it is. Instead she takes the hook off of a ornament and offers the shiny plastic ball for Mike to hold.

"Look at that, Mike. Isn't it pretty? It's a red ornament. Mommy and Daddy are going to decorate the tree with them and you can help— _Mike_ , no, don't put it in your mouth!"

Mike shrieks as Kara takes the ornament away, but he's not unhappy for long; Kara gives him a teddy bear instead. He's immediately transfixed with gripping its arms. And, of course, with figuring out how it tastes.

"Don't eat the bear," Kara says, using her finger to hook the ear of the bear out of Mike's mouth. " _Play_ with the bear. Okay?"

He doesn't heed her words. But she figures it's better that he chew on that instead of mouth on plastic, so she goes to help Adam sort out the lights. He's making a show of himself, tangling them both in the lights, and Kara laughs and shoves at his chest; it only makes him nearly fall over and then they're face-to-face and much too close for Kara's comfort.

Adam scrambles away from her as soon as he can. "Sorry," he says after a beat. "Uh. Maybe I should—check Mike's diaper."

"Yeah," Kara agrees, putting as much space as she can between them. "Do you want me to set up the lights?"

"If you know how, sure," Adam calls over his shoulder, already working to unbuckle Mike.

So Kara untangles lights for real. She doesn't really mind the task; it allows her a moment alone with her thoughts, and maybe Adam's onto something here—getting into the Holiday spirit early isn't such a bad thing. She briefly wonders what Lena's up to. It seems that she and Lena haven't hung out in a while; lately, all she's been doing is spending time with Veronica.

And that's not a _bad_ thing. Since Kara can't spend as much time with Lena as she used to, Veronica is there to take her place, going to see Lena at lunch and bringing her food. ("She's a much healthier eater than you are," Lena had said over the phone once, "and I don't know how I feel about that—I find myself craving potstickers sometimes.)

"Diaper's changed and Mike is ready to rock around the Christmas tree!" Adam calls, reentering the living room and holding Mike up in front of his face proudly.

Mike is grinning so wide his gums are showing, Santa hat slung low over his forehead, and Kara falls in love with him all over again.

"Okay, but just for a little bit," Kara says. "He needs to go to sleep soon."

For a moment, Kara lets herself forget about Lena and Veronica and how it seems like she's quickly being replaced; Mike's the best distraction she could ask for.

.

.

.

"Mind if I sit?"

Kara looks up from the email she's typing, mouth falling open when she notices Veronica Sinclair standing before her. "Um," she says after a moment too long, "no, of course not. But I don't have another chair..."

Veronica perches on the edge of Kara's desk. Okay then.

"Kira—" she starts.

Kara frowns and corrects, "Kara."

"Kara," Veronica amends, "I think we got off on the wrong foot."

Kara doesn't say a word. She doesn't want to agree or disagree, because she isn't sure what response Veronica is anticipating; she isn't even sure why Veronica is _here_.

Veronica leans forward and says, "You don't have to lie about it, okay? I saw it. Lena saw it. I was jealous of you and that was stupid."

"Jealous of _me_?" slips out before Kara can stop it. "Why?"

"Lena doesn't open up to a lot of people," Veronica says. "She's always kept to herself. I assumed, since she opened up to _you_ , that it meant she wanted to be more than your friend. But that was misguided of me. It's...it's actually really nice that she's opened up to you."

It seems Kara has more in common with Veronica than she thought. Still, the actual acknowledgement of this makes her head spin. "Right," she says, dumbly. "I understand."

"Do you?" Veronica tilts her head. It's at that moment that Kara fully realizes how genuine Veronica seems, how earnest she looks even though she's draped over Kara's desk like someone out of a noir movie. (Seriously, people are staring). "I don't want her to lose you if it's to get me. Does that make sense?"

"You two have history," Kara says. "And I'm the outsider. I think we've established that."

"So _melodramatic_." Veronica smirks. "I'm not trying to single you out. I don't even want to know if you like Lena the way I think you do. I'm just saying, in the grander scheme of things, that Lena should have both of us in her life."

"I don't like Lena. I-I mean I like her as a friend because she's my friend and that's all she is. My friend," Kara stammers.

"And there's my answer," Veronica says, sliding off Kara's desk. She doesn't look mad. Just somewhat pitying. "Look. You're her friend. I don't want you to think that she doesn't need you just because she doesn't like you the way you like her. She _does_ need you. You're like her best friend."

"Is this supposed to be some sort of...pep talk?" Kara asks slowly. "Because I'm not following."

"I'm here to make sure you don't break my girlfriend's heart," Veronica says. "People tend to leave her. I'm just making sure you won't make the same mistake."

"I don't like what you're insinuating," Kara says. "What—you think I'm going to _leave_? Because Lena doesn't—" the words get caught in her throat, and she stops. "I'm not like that. And I don't _like_ Lena like that."

"Okay," says Veronica, her tone suggesting she doesn't believe Kara in the slightest. "You're oddly defensive."

"And you're...kind of rude," Kara retorts.

"We just don't know each other well enough. Is that it? I don't know if I can trust you and you don't know if you can trust me. But we both care about Lena. So let's leave it at that," Veronica says.

"And how do I know you're not trying to hurt her?" Kara asks before she her brain does its job and filters her words. This is her job and she's not even supposed to be talking to Veronica but it makes her _angry_ to hear the thinly-veiled threats directed at her, professionalism be damned. "I know all about you. You—you dated her because of her last name. Not because you really liked her."

"I did," Veronica replies, unfazed. "But we all make mistakes. I think you know that better than anyone, don't you?"

It's cryptic enough that Kara doesn't understand. But Veronica's eyes flicker to the picture of Mike on Kara's desk and gives it away all at once.

"My son is _not_ a mistake," Kara bursts out before she realizes what she's done. She has some other choice words she'd like to say but she _doesn't_ , because that would cross a line she's never crossed before and won't cross now.

"I don't mean that in a rude way," Veronica says. "Your indiscretions aren't a judgment of you, honestly. It just goes to show how really strong you are as a single mother and a working woman."

"I'm not a single mother," Kara says. "Mike's father is still in the picture."

Veronica lights up at this piece of information. "Oh? Now that's interesting," she says. "Lena must hate him."

"What? No. She—she likes Adam," Kara counters.

"So she's not jealous of him," Veronica says. "I find that hard to believe."

Kara blinks. "I'm confused," she says. "She's dating _you_. You're not seriously threatened by _me_ , are you?"

"It takes a lot to threaten me," Veronica says calmly. "Trust me," said with a casual once-over of Kara's clothes, "I'm not threatened by _you_. You've got more baggage than Lena can deal with. _And_ relationship issues to boot."

Kara clenches her jaw, annoyed all at once. She's insulted and upset and all she really wants to do is tell Veronica off but it wouldn't be a smart move, not when the people around her seem to have noticed that Veronica hasn't left yet. Sooner or later, Cat will notice too.

"Ms. Sinclair," Kara says, reigning her anger in and refocusing on her email, "unless you have an appointment, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"I didn't mean to step on any toes," Veronica says, but there's a quirk to her lips that looks like the beginnings of a smile. "I'll go. Despite what you may think, I really don't hate you, Kara. I _admire_ you. Isn't that funny?"

She steals a mint off of Kara's desk and leaves the same way she came.

.

.

.

Adam is having a bad day and Kara doesn't know what to do.

He won't tell her what's wrong. He's been sitting in the living room, staring blankly at the TV, which is playing a Batman movie Kara knows he hates. Mike's on his baby gym mat, head bobbing up and down as he alternates between smacking some toys laid out before him and trying to drag them towards his mouth; Adam doesn't seem to be watching him too intently either.

Kara eyes the beer in Adam's hand—the second of that night—and says, "Do you want me to take Mike with me? If you're too..." She doesn't finish the sentence. She doesn't even know what to say.

"I said I'd watch him. Don't worry," Adam says, taking a long drink from his bottle. He doesn't look at Kara when he speaks, just keeps his eyes fixated on the TV.

Kara debates the risks of taking Mike out with her to the park. It's cold outside—not cold enough to worry about snow, but cold enough to warrant fear about Mike getting sick—and not to mention, it'll likely be noisy and crowded there. The streets might even be icy. It would be no place for a stroller.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong, at least?" Kara asks, banishing the thought of trying to take Mike along; she probably shouldn't risk it. "You can come too, if you want."

"This weather's not good to take Mike out." Adam shakes his head. "We'll be fine here. You go out."

"Okay," Kara says. She wants to argue it, but she knows space might just be what Adam needs, so; she gets her coat and her car keys, preparing to leave. "Call me if anything happens. I can pick up dinner?"

"Sure." Adam doesn't sound too excited. Something _really_ bad must have happened.

Kara kisses Mike goodbye, and then she texts Alex a quick confirmation that she's on her way and starts the drive to the park. It was Lex's idea, for everyone to meet up for the town's Christmas tree lighting. He's been pushing to meet properly hang out with Kara and her friends, according to Lena.

("I think he just wants me to make more friends," Lena had admitted, though she had looked awfully fond.

"Then your brother and I are on the same page," Kara had joked.)

Kara spots Alex first, shivering and sending Maggie angry looks that means Maggie's making fun of her low tolerance for cold weather again. James looks like he's already started taking pictures, wandering the farthest away from the group with his camera up to his eye like it's the only way he can see. Winn seems to be entertaining Lex, the two of them engrossed in a conversation Kara doesn't really follow as she walks up.

And Lena's there too. With Veronica. They're standing slightly apart from the others, talking quietly to each other. At one point, Veronica takes Lena's hand, and Kara looks away as fast as humanly possible.

"Kara!" James catches sight of her first, immediately training his camera on her.

"James, I'm not picture ready," Kara complains, but she's grinning so widely there's no way James can take her words seriously. "What are you doing?"

"Documenting," James says, taking a few more shots before lowering the camera to reveal his own wide smile. "You're late."

"I had to make sure Adam was okay with watching Mike for a few hours," Kara explains as they rejoin the group, Winn excitedly rushing over to hug Kara hello.

"They have Star Wars Christmas merch," Winn announces when everyone drifts into one loose circle. "That has to be our first stop."

"No way," Maggie says. "Hot chocolate is always the first stop."

The majority of the group votes in Maggie's favor. Only James and Kara vote for Star Wars, James out of loyalty and Kara because she's as big of a nerd as Winn is. But hot chocolate is nice, too. The cups are warm against freezing fingers, and the hot liquid soothing in a way Kara didn't know she needed.

She leans against Alex's shoulder and sighs. "I love it here," she says. It's not snowing, so there's no magic in the atmosphere; in fact, in the winter the park looks a little grayer, a little dingier. Being surrounded by so many people she loves, though— _that_ makes it enough for Kara.

"I don't," Alex grumbles into the rim of her cup. "It's cold."

"It's winter," Kara says, tugging on the edge of Alex's beanie. "And it's not even that bad. You're a little overdressed, aren't you?"

"Fuck _off_ ," Alex groans, shoving Kara so hard she stumbles backwards.

"Kids, no fighting," James says with a disapproving click of his tongue, cheekily snapping a picture of Alex's ensuing scowl.

"Oh, shove it up your _ass_ , Olsen—"

The attempt to get everyone to hang out really doesn't work as well as it should, because Alex promptly takes Maggie's arm and leads her away to avoid James's camera. Winn then pulls James away to go find Star Wars merch, despite James's protests; he halfheartedly takes a few shots of Alex and Maggie leaving before he lets himself be dragged away.

"And then there were four," Lex says, strolling over casually to Veronica and Lena. "Why don't I go get us some roasted chestnuts? I hear there's a vendor here."

"That sounds vile," Veronica mutters, but Lex only smirks.

"Thank you for volunteering to help, Veronica. I like her already, Lena." He winks as he walks away, gesturing for Veronica to follow with a tilt of his head. (She begrudgingly does.)

"He's trying to meddle," Lena huffs, coming up beside Kara so close that their arms brush. Lena looks cold too, cheeks and nose red from the air and hands stuffed deep into her jacket pockets. "I should save her."

"Maybe," Kara agrees. But they don't move. Lena doesn't even shift her arm out of the way; Kara hesitantly pushes their shoulders together and asks, "Are you cold?"

"Don't make fun of me," Lena says, which means yes.

Kara takes the scarf hanging on her neck and loops it around Lena's, even when Lena rolls her eyes. "I'm trying to help," she insists when Lena tries to push her hands away. "Be still."

"You're making fun of me," Lena protests. "And your hands are cold."

"I promise I'm not making fun of you," Kara says, tucking the ends of the scarf over Lena's shoulders. "See? It looks great."

"You're going to freeze," Lena says, but her hand comes up to the scarf absentmindedly, smoothing her fingertips over the soft material.

"I'm not that cold. I've never been bad with cold weather, really. Alex likes to say I was born in Antarctica."

"I'd believe her," Lena says. She looks at Kara suddenly, as if just remembering something. Then—"Do you know where you were born?"

"No," Kara says. She had been in foster care since she was too young to remember; she has nothing, no memories of her parents or where she was born. "I don't really care."

Lena looks away, going quiet, and Kara wonders what's going through her mind.

.

.

.

"So why are you repainting, again?"

Winn is half-buried in the closet, so his voice comes out muffled when he says, "Because white is lame! It's long overdue for a change."

"You painted your walls white two months ago," Kara reminds him, patiently waiting by the wall with a can of light blue paint in her arms. "Before you did that you said that the green was distracting."

"It _was_."

"And now the white is distracting?"

Winn pokes his head out of the closet. "If I wanted criticism I would've brought Alex," he grumbles. "Will you help me or not?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" Kara gives the can of paint a shake. "I even left Mike with Adam."

"Aw, I wanted to see the little guy." Winn pouts.

"I'm not exposing him to paint fumes, Winn."

"Right. Paint is not good for kids," Winn says, tapping the side of his head. "You're like an encyclopedia for moms. A mommypedia. Patent pending on that one."

Kara crinkles her nose. "I wouldn't keep that name."

"Alright, fair enough." Winn finally finds the paint rollers and brushes, and from there they delve into working, taping over the edges of the walls before they start applying paint.

"You stay at James's most of the time, don't you?" Kara asks when she drips paint on Winn's head for the third time in an hour. "Why do you need to fix this place up?"

"I don't stay over there that often," Winn says, still casually working on the edges by the floor, unaware of the clumps of drying paint on top of his head.

"Liar," Kara says, stepping up on the stepladder to reach the top of the wall. "You basically live there."

"I have a drawer or two over there, tops."

"Try half a closet," Kara says. This time the paint off her roller drips down onto the carpet—oops. They should've put some plastic sheets on the floor or something.

Winn opens his mouth to argue, but shuts it wordlessly and then says—a full minute later—"Oh no. What if he thinks I'm trying to move myself in?"

"Come again?" Kara brushes a strand of hair out of her face, forgetting that she's wearing paint-splattered gloves. The tendril of hair, now wet, sticks to her cheek uncomfortably.

"I'm bulldozing him, aren't I?" Winn says, horrified. "I'm invading his apartment."

"You're his boyfriend, I'm pretty sure that's your job."

"Kara, this is _serious_." Winn's paintbrush flies halfway across the room as he holds both sides of his head, eyes widening. "He's been so...secretive lately. What if this is it? What if I'm smothering him?"

"Winn, trust me," Kara says, stepping down so she's level with him. "There's no way you're smothering him."

"But this is too fast! It's too fast, isn't it?" Winn starts to pace. Kara decides not to tell him he's got blue paint smeared all over the sides of his head. "Maybe I can be sneaky about it. Move back in here, give him some space—"

"The last thing he wants is space from you," Kara interrupts. " _Winn_. He loves you! There's no way he doesn't love having you around." She wants so badly to crack and tell Winn everything—about rings and engagements and James's plans—but she can't, so she settles on squeezing his shoulder with the hand not holding a paint roller and saying, "Besides, it wouldn't be a bad thing, right? To move in with James?"

Winn's shoulders sag, defeated. "No," he mumbles. "I actually really like that idea. But I can't just move into his apartment without saying anything! Maybe I should ask him to move in with me. My apartment's not as nice, but...maybe if we finish up these walls, redecorate a little..."

"Sure," Kara agrees, making a mental note to rush James on proposing already. "Just a head's up, though—you may want to go wash your hair out before it dries."

Winn gingerly pats the top of his head. "Hey, when did I get paint in my hair?"

"I have no idea," Kara replies, already turning back to finish with the top of the wall.

.

.

.

Kara doesn't go over to Lena's apartment often.

Like the rest of the complex, her apartment was pre-furnished. It would pretty much be a carbon copy of Kara's apartment if Kara didn't have tons of baby stuff everywhere now; it's easy to see how Lena mistook Kara's apartment for hers when they first met. Kara's apartment is now practically unrecognizable in comparison to Lena's; Lena doesn't spend too much time at home, so her apartment is mostly bare, impersonal.

But it's a rare occasion that Lena comes home early on a Friday night. She's made a huge deal and she's—maybe sort of tipsy, because she insisted Kara come over to celebrate.

"Here," Lena says brightly, handing Kara a champagne glass. "I got started before you. Is that bad? Sorry. I should've waited." She pours herself a second glass and clinks it against Kara's, giggling when Kara humors her and sips at the glass.

"Bubbly," Kara says, crinkling her nose. "How much have you had, anyway?"

"Does it matter?" Lena asks. She looks more undone than Kara's ever seen her, dressed in sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt, makeup-free and smiling giddily. "I'm happy. Do you know that? I'm—happy."

"Wow, yeah, that warrants celebration," Kara teases.

Lena spills her champagne when she snorts in laughter. "No, no," she says, setting the emptied cup on the table and halfheartedly wiping at the mess dripping off the couch. "It's not just because of the deal or anything. But I mean, when I moved here I was so worried I would have nothing. And I have you and Mike. And my mom, and Lex, and Jess. And Veronica," she tacks on belatedly, leaning so far back on the couch that she's staring up at the ceiling. "I can't remember the last time I felt so happy."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"It is," Lena says faintly. "Hey. Where's Mike?"

"Sleeping," Kara says. "Adam's home."

"Oh. I should've—you should've told him to come," Lena says with a frown. She sits up suddenly, so fast that Kara doesn't have time to move out of the way and their foreheads crash together.

" _Ow_!" Kara yelps.

"Sorry!" Lena exclaims. "Are you okay?" She takes Kara's face in her hands and studies her intently, those green eyes even more hypnotizing up close. "You're not bleeding or anything."

"No, you just surprised me," Kara says. Her cheeks feel hot under Lena's hands, and she knows she's blushing—but she doesn't exactly move away either. "And your head's not even that hard."

" _That_ hard?"

"Don't get me wrong, it's still pretty hard," Kara says with a wince. "Uh, do you have any ice?"

Lena still hasn't let go, gazing at Kara as if trying to figure out a well-kept secret, and Kara's heart jumps in her chest when Lena suddenly brushes her thumb over Kara's bottom lip.

"You," Lena says, and her voice is low, quivering just the slightest, "you have really chapped lips."

Kara's turning a shade of red she doesn't think exists, but all she manages to croak out is, "Uh...thanks?"

"Ice!" Lena lets go all at once, scrambling off the couch and nearly knocking the glass of champagne out of Kara's hand. "Oh my gosh, you need ice."

Kara misses her touch the instant it's gone and she instantly feels guilty about it. Lena has a _girlfriend_. Her brain needs to pick up on that and stop focusing on how adorable tipsy Lena is. And how she looked three seconds away from kissing Kara just now.

"I don't have ice," Lena announces, coming back into the living room and offering Kara a package of frozen peas instead.

"Peas?" Kara makes a face, mostly for show because Lena laughs. She takes the bag anyway, and holds it against her forehead. Her head doesn't hurt as much as the skin stings a little; she honestly could've done without ice, but it was a good way to get Lena to stop touching her.

(Not that she doesn't like Lena holding her face. But her heart would've given out, that's for sure.)

"Peas...are healthy," Lena says, taking a pillow as she sits back down, hugging it to her chest and frowning at Kara. "Frozen peas probably aren't as good. I don't even know why I have those."

"Well, my forehead thanks you," Kara says. "What else are you going to do to celebrate? Call Lex?"

"He's the one who left me to close the deal," Lena scoffs. "He's out—I don't know where. Somewhere." Her face gets closed off now, childish glee vanished. "He's been leaving a lot lately."

The bag of peas slowly lowers as Kara shifts a little closer. "What do you mean?" she asks, raising the bag back up to her head only when Lena gives her a bitter smile.

"I don't know," says Lena with a shrug; she looks down at the pillow in her arms and squeezes it tighter. "I feel like he's been planning something. Something he's not telling me about."

"Something...not good?"

Another shrug. "We've always been close," Lena says. "I wish he'd tell me."

"Maybe he doesn't know what to say," Kara suggests. "I'm sure he's just overwhelmed with work and doesn't know how to tell you."

Lena shakes her head. "I know my brother," she says. "He's never been the type to hide anything from me. We tell each other everything."

"I'm sorry," Kara says. "I wish I could help you."

"You can sit here and drink with me," Lena says, stealing the glass of champagne out of Kara's hand and taking a sip. "Or better yet, tell me about your day. How is it, being back at work?"

"It's great," Kara sighs. "Really. But I feel like there's so much I've missed. Like, the fact that Ms. Grant is apparently being sued? By someone—I don't know who. A lawyer came by a few weeks ago. I called her, but she hasn't called back."

"Is it about the Idris Elba thing? Because everyone saw that coming."

"It is not the Idris Elba thing," Kara says. "I don't know what it's for. Defamation, apparently."

Lena raises an eyebrow. "Strong accusation, for a media mogul like Cat," she says. "Did you get the lawyer's name? I can look into it if you'd like."

"Alura Zorel," Kara recites from memory. "Any chance you know her?"

"Not by name," Lena says. "But give me a week. I'll figure out everything."

"You're the best," Kara says. "But you're also drunk and you're not going to remember any of this. I appreciate it though."

"I am not drunk! I'm just getting started," Lena insists, shoving Kara's glass back at her. "Come on, catch up. This can't be a proper celebration yet."

"Okay," Kara acquiesces. "Just one drink."

Lena doesn't stick to the one drink rule; she's passed out in under an hour, and Kara leaves her apartment after draping a blanket over her sleeping body. She leaves her a glass of water on the coffee table and a sticky note apologizing for her lack of upper body strength to move Lena to her bed.

(And even if Lena doesn't remember much, Kara hopes Lena knows how proud she is of her.)

.

.

.

Adam breaks up with his girlfriend.

Kara finds him outside on the balcony, gripping the rail and staring up at the sky, door wide open and blinds billowing. Mike's asleep in her room, thankfully spared the cold that Adam's let into the living room, but Kara doesn't go with him yet.

"You're letting in the cold," Kara says when she joins Adam outside. "You're going to freeze us all."

"Sorry." Adam rubs at his bare arms sheepishly, apparently having left outside without a jacket in his mission to brood. "You're home early."

"Slow day," Kara says. "And your mom wanted to let us go early."

"Oh really? Was she feeling generous?"

"I think she just needs to do last minute Christmas shopping, actually," Kara says. "But generous is a good word. She'd like that."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Adam stays gazing off into the night, brow heavy with sorrow.

Kara stands next to him. "I have to admit, getting a text from you saying you broke it off with"—she forgets his girlfriend's name—"that you broke up with your girlfriend isn't what I was expecting when I said tell me about your day."

"I didn't know if I should tell you," Adam says. "I know it wasn't that big of a deal. We weren't even that serious."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kara offers. "I can make eggs."

"Eggs? For dinner?"

"We're already freezing the apartment. I can't risk burning it down, too," Kara says, and the joke does the trick; Adam smiles.

"No eggs," he says. "Just—stay with me? For a bit?"

"Okay." Kara places a hand over his comfortingly. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

Adam shrugs. "I don't know what to say," he admits. "She wasn't in love with Mike. I know some people just aren't good with kids. _I'm_ not good with kids. But she didn't want to try and that's—okay. Kids aren't for everyone."

"But it hurts," Kara says. "And that's okay for you to say, too."

"Everything's different when it's your kid," Adam says. "I don't blame her. If it was me and I didn't have a son, I'd have done the same."

"You can't know that for sure, Adam."

Adam chuckles, but there's no warmth in it. "No, I do," he says. "Besides, it's not like we were in love. I really don't hold it against her."

"Well in my opinion, love is pretty overrated," Kara sighs, letting go of Adam's hand to hold onto the balcony rail herself. "And feelings are dumb."

"Harsh words from a closet romantic," Adam says, turning to look at Kara again, curiosity clear as day. "Did something happen?"

Kara frowns. "I'm not a closet romantic," she denies. "And nothing happened."

"Are you kidding? You're the biggest romantic ever," Adam says. "I know we dated for like three weeks—"

"Two weeks."

"No way. It was three."

"The first week didn't count! I didn't know they were dates," Kara argues.

"Well I did. Doesn't that count?"

"No, and you're giving yourself way too much credit," Kara says.

"However long it was," Adam says, "I still knew then. You're a princess waiting for a prince, aren't you?"

Kara almost laughs. "No thanks," she says. "I'd much rather be the hero of the story, not a damsel in distress—that's not my style."

"You're absolutely right." Adam smiles and there's something softer in his tone, something warm and relieved in the way he speaks, the way he moves close enough to Kara that their arms brush. "You're the best person I know. Did you know that?"

"Flattery's not getting you out of anything," Kara says. "Seriously, it's your turn to take out the trash."

Adam doesn't say a word, instead taking Kara's hand again. And when she looks up at him, that smile she fell head over heels for once is back—lazy but not without emotion, relaxed but not without strength. But it's not the smile she wants. It's not Lena's shy smile, not the smile she's fallen for this time. It doesn't have the same crinkles in the right places, doesn't give her the same fluttery feeling in her chest.

Kara almost turns and tells him goodnight. She isn't sure what to do about the way he's looking at her, like he's seeing her for the first time all over again. Maybe if he had been here months ago, maybe if he'd looked at her then like he is now, maybe her heart would be beating a little faster than it is at this very moment.

But then his lips touch hers, and all her heart does is plummet to the bottom of her stomach.

* * *

 **.**

 **i think i forgot to reply to everyone last chapter? i'm so sorry if that's the case - it's so hard to keep track of who i reply to and to who i don't, but everyone who commented last chapter: thank you SO much. especially to all the anonymous people on here! you're all so nice! as always, find me over on tumblr at pippytmi - i answer prompts there sometimes.**


	9. oh you could mean everything to me

**i** **have to post this and run to class soo really quick, huge thanks to my beta katie (go follow her on tumblr at theycallmetablemama) and to everyone who read this, reviewed, etc. ! i hopefully replied to everyone who reviewed last chapter, you're all the best!**

 **find me over on tumblr at pippytmi - i sometimes write prompts & stuff I don't post here!**

* * *

The brick is cold. Maybe even wet.

Kara leans against it anyway, and after a minute slides down to sit on the grimy sidewalk. To her right, people pour in and out of the doors she's just left, talking and laughing and singing. They're rowdy and drunk and Kara—well, she isn't sure how she got here. Alcohol makes her sleepy and she's drifting off right there, pressed against the wall outside of a bar, feeling so shitty she debates going back inside and ordering another drink.

Cars speed by, their headlights flashing hazily in the dark, and Kara tries to watch so she doesn't fall asleep. But it gets too hard and she's struggling so much it takes her a second too long to even notice one of the cars is veering out of the street, coming to a stop right before her.

The passenger side opens. "Kara?" shouts a voice, familiar and _loud_ , and Kara winces.

"Alex?" Kara whispers, opening her eyes fully, but when she finally focuses she realizes it's Lena standing in front of her.

Lena looks heartbroken enough for the both of them, eyes so full of pity Kara itches to look away. "Kara," she says. "You look awful."

Kara's head falls back against the brick. "Lena, what are you doing in this side of town?" she asks, defeated; the last thing she wants is Lena seeing her like this, and she wants nothing more than to disappear.

"Looking for _you_ , you idiot," Lena says firmly, but there's no bite to her voice as she takes Kara's arm. It's so chilly outside that her hands are warmer than Kara expects, especially on her bare arms; she hadn't taken a jacket when she left the apartment, and she shivers. "Come on, get up. Alex said you'd probably be here."

"Dammit," Kara groans, swaying as she obediently gets to her feet. She really should've known better than to pick Maggie's bar. "Am I that predictable?"

Lena helps her steady herself. "I've never seen you this drunk," she observes quietly.

"I'm not drunk," Kara says. She trips on air a second later, nearly falling into Lena's arms, and Lena scoffs.

"Sure you aren't," she says, guiding Kara to the backseat of the running car. "Adam's worried sick, you know."

Kara jerks away from Lena's touch, startling Lena so much she nearly falls over. "I don't want to see him," Kara says, trying to push Lena away in a temporary panic and only succeeding in hitting her own head against the back of the front passenger seat. "Please don't make me go back there."

"Kara, Kara, you'll hurt yourself," Lena says, her hand ghosting over the back of Kara's head. "I won't take you back there, I promise. Just _please_ get in the car."

Kara relents and lets herself be pushed into a seat. Lena helps her buckle up, and Kara waves at Lena's driver from the rearview mirror as Lena slides into the seat next to her.

"Why did you come find me?" Kara asks, head hesitantly lolling to rest on Lena's shoulder. She's much bolder when drunk, but Lena doesn't seem to mind. "You and Veronica had plans."

"Adam called me. He thought I was at home." Lena's hand strokes over Kara's hair comfortingly, and Kara sags further against her, much more exhausted than she remembers being ten minutes ago. "Are you...okay?"

Kara feels tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, suddenly very, very grateful that Lena's here. Even if she looks like a mess and she's drunker than she's been in over a year, it's nice to have someone to lean on (literally and figuratively).

"Yes," Kara sighs, but it's _Lena_ and she knows she could never lie to her. "No. I don't—I don't know."

Lena just keeps smoothing Kara's hair. "Okay," she says. "Should I take you to Alex's?"

Kara nods, and Lena tells her driver the address.

The drive is silent for the most part, Kara nodding off against Lena's shoulder. Lena doesn't say a word, or even ask any questions, and when it gets too much Kara finally blurts out,

"Adam kissed me."

Lena's hand pauses. "What?"

"I thought we were in a good place, I—I thought we were _okay_ ," Kara says, and she's so frustrated the tears start to bubble over. "I didn't mean to run. I just—I didn't want to hurt him. And I couldn't stay there while he was—"

"Kara," Lena says, and her other hand comes up to brush Kara's jaw. "It's okay."

"It was stupid, I'm sorry." Kara swallows back a sob. "I left Mike. God, I didn't even—I _left_ him."

"You didn't know what to do," Lena says. "Mike's fine. He's with Adam."

Kara breathes. "Right," she says. "I don't...I don't think I want to see Adam tonight."

"You don't have to," Lena says. "I'll tell him you're at Alex's for you, if that's alright?"

Kara nods again. "Lena?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For coming," Kara says. "And I'm so sorry that you had to do this, I should've—"

"Kara," Lena cuts her off. "You're my best friend. There's no way I would have left you alone."

Kara's an emotional drunk. She'll admit it. And this just makes her burst into more tears that are likely dampening Lena's shirt, but Lena doesn't say anything; she just holds Kara tight in her arms and lets her cry.

Alex is waiting outside the apartment building when Lena's driver pulls up.

"Will you be fine by yourself?" Kara asks.

"I should be asking you that," Lena replies. "But I guess you'll be with Alex."

Right, Kara remembers, Lena had company beforehand. "Oh. And you'll be with...Veronica," she says.

"No, she went home. I'll go tell Adam where you are, remember?" Lena says. "And I'll check in on Mike for you."

"You'd do that?" Kara says, voice cracking, and her desperation must be clear as day because Lena only tenderly brushes her tears away and says,

"Of course. You worry about sleeping off all those drinks, okay?"

"Okay," Kara says, and she holds onto Lena's hands, not quite ready to let go yet. "You're the best."

Lena smiles, faintly. "I know," she teases, and with one final, fond caress of Kara's face, she leaves.

Alex doesn't say a word as Kara trudges into her apartment. Not after Kara changes into some pajamas and says hi to a half-asleep Maggie on Alex's bed. Not after Alex makes them some coffee. Not even after they curl up on the couch together, Kara's head on Alex's lap as they watch _The Lion King_ , empty mugs long forgotten.

"You know," Alex says instead, hard at work at braiding the back of Kara's hair, "Maggie's been working on this stump of a case. A thief with a dramatic flair..."

Kara listens to Alex talk about Maggie's work as a means to distract her and while it's a nice gesture, it's also making Kara's eyelids heavy and she struggles to stay awake.

"Alex," she says after a moment, "I don't know what to do."

Alex brushes a strand of hair out of Kara's face and says, "You should go to sleep. You're going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

"I feel like I should think about this first," Kara sighs, pressing her cheek against Alex's thigh as if it's a pillow. "How much did Lena tell you?"

"Just that you left home. Apparently Adam called her," Alex says. "You don't have to tell me why."

"He kissed me," Kara says without hesitation; her mouth has no filter when she's drunk. "God, James was right. I'm awful at telling when people like me."

"Well, I could've told you that," Alex teases, and when Kara rolls her eyes, Alex tugs on a knot in Kara's hair playfully. "Hey. You don't owe Adam anything, alright? And if he tries anything again I'll kick his ass."

"Fighting won't fix this," Kara says. "We had rules, you know? We take care of Mike together. We take out the trash on our days. We don't cook unless we have to because we're seriously going to burn down that apartment someday. This isn't covered in our rulebook!"

"Please tell me you don't actually have a rulebook."

"It's more like a rules list," Kara says. "But that's not the point. What happens when I go back? Everything's ruined. I won't be able to look at him and he's going to resent me and—"

"If he does then I'll kick his ass," Alex repeats. "Come on, you've dealt with unrequited feelings before."

"Winn was different! We were already friends first, okay, can everyone stop bringing him up?"

"Not just Winn," Alex says. "Lena, too."

"I never tried to kiss Lena," Kara grumbles. "Because I know that would ruin everything. Why can't Adam think like that?"

Alex looks down at her and instead of the the light tone she's aimed to keep, her gaze is heavy. "You're really upset about this, aren't you," she says.

"Yes, that's why I'm _here_."

"I mean," Alex says, "you're worried about what's going on with Lena. You think you're the Adam, bound to ruin everything if you try to act on your feelings."

Kara's brain is muddled from the alcohol and she tries to say something like "stop psychoanalyzing my relationships" but what actually comes out is, "Stop thinking, I'm drunk."

"Good idea," Alex jokes. "Let me catch up." She continues to work at Kara's hair, producing two lumpy, uneven braids on one side of Kara's face as Kara stares at the ceiling and tries very hard not to vomit on her sister's lap.

"Alex?" she asks.

"Yeah?"

"I think I want to go to sleep. And throw up."

"I'll set up the couch," Alex says. "But just for sleeping. You're not allowed to throw up on it."

Kara manages to get to bathroom before she empties the contents of her stomach, clinging to the toilet bowl with clenched white fingers as Alex gingerly pats her back. She hasn't been in this position since she was pregnant, and somehow the thought makes her feel worse. She certainly hasn't felt so much like a mess than she has at this moment.

Alex makes her drink two glasses of water and brush her teeth before she lets Kara lie down. Then, because she's _Alex_ and is super perceptive of how torn Kara feels, she lingers.

"You can come sleep on my bed if you want," Alex offers. "I'm sure Maggie wouldn't mind."

"No thanks," Kara sighs, shifting uncomfortably on the hard mattress of the pull-out couch. "Besides, I may need to throw up again. I can't leave you guys in the line of fire."

"Fine, but my point still stands—don't throw up on my couch," Alex says. "Goodnight, Kara." She leaves with a reassuring smile, turning off the light as she does, and Kara stays, eyes open and body stiff, in the dark.

Her phone lights up minutes later, with a text. There's a blurry attached picture of Mike that Lena has sent, along with a message that reads, _feel better, okay_? And Kara laughs, shaky and relieved, before she shuts her eyes and lets herself slip into unconsciousness.

.

.

.

Kara has a key—of course she has a key—but it feels wrong to use it, like the weight of it is too much in her hand, and she swallows the lump in her throat and knocks instead.

There's nowhere to run anymore when Adam opens the door, and he tries his best to smile but it's obviously pained. "Hey," he says.

"Hey," Kara echoes. "Can I come in?"

Adam wordlessly lets her in, shutting the door behind her quietly. "Mike's asleep," he says. "I can go wake him up, if you want."

"No, that's okay," Kara says, even though there's nothing she would want more than to hold him right now.

Adam busies himself in the kitchen, not looking at her when he says, "Did you eat yet? Lena brought some Thai food yesterday. I can heat it up."

"Adam," Kara says, because that's all she can say. She doesn't know what else to say, what else to _do_ , not when he looks so hurt.

He turns around and this time he's not trying to play it off, looking at her as helplessly as she feels. "I'm sorry," he says. "I—I don't know what to say, Kara. I messed everything up."

"I ran," Kara blurts out. "I ran and that was...stupid. I made a big deal out of nothing."

Adam shakes his head. "No, you couldn't stay. I understand," he says.

"Adam—"

"It's okay," he cuts her off, lest she continue to blame herself. "Can we sit? And talk?"

"Okay," Kara agrees, because that she can do.

They sit on the couch, not too close, and don't actually speak for a minute or two. Kara doesn't look at Adam, focusing instead on everything else: the TV, the coffee table, the toys strewn across the carpet.

"I don't want to lie to you," Adam says, drawing Kara's gaze away. "I obviously misread the situation, but—Kara, I like you. A lot. And I don't want to pressure you or make you feel guilty about it, so whatever you want to say to me—"

"Why did you do it?" bursts out of Kara's mouth. Her heart is hammering in her chest and there is a part of her that feels _bad_ but there is also a simmering frustration underneath her calm, and that part wins.

Adam blinks, confused. "What?"

"You didn't have to kiss me," Kara says, and this time a little bit of her frustration leaks through. "How could you be so selfish?"

"Whoa, hey," Adam says, taken aback at the reaction. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm a lot more clueless than I thought."

"No, I'm sorry, that was—it's not your fault," Kara says. "Well. Mostly. You just...you made a mistake. That's it."

"Right," Adam says softly, and his eyes are searching as they dart across her face, as if trying to piece together what's happening by looking alone.

Kara lets him, and she takes a deep breath and says, finally, what she's been needing to. "Adam...I don't like you like that. You're my friend, and you're Mike's dad, but I-I don't—"

Adam seems to notice how she's floundering to let him down gently, because all he does is offer a small half-smile. "It's okay, Kara," he says. "I get it."

More silence.

"What are we going to do?" Kara asks, when it gets to be too much.

"Let's just pretend it never happened," Adam suggests, and he rises, heading back into the kitchen. "I'll leave the dumb shit I do to a minimum, and we can move on."

But Kara knows they can't do that. Now that she knows it's there, the glaring crush just won't _work_ , and she doesn't need to deal with that. Her life is complicated enough.

So she puts her key down on the center island, the touch of metal to granite just loud enough to get Adam's attention.

"I already asked Alex," Kara says. "She said I could move back in."

Adam's face doesn't betray how he feels. "And Mike?" he asks, quietly.

"We can figure out an arrangement that works," Kara says. "I won't take him away, ever. I promise. He needs both of us."

Adam nods, and turns away. "You can take him when he wakes up, then," he says. "Get him acquainted with his new house."

This time, Kara hears the heaviness of the sadness he can't mask, but she goes into her room and starts to pack instead of addressing it. She texts Alex that she's for sure going to move out in between folding clothes and Alex replies with a string of heart emojis; Kara rolls her eyes, but smiles at her screen.

She even texts Lena. _talked to adam_ , she sends. _we're ok now, i think._

 _I'm glad_ , comes the quick reply. _ice cream tonight?_

With the text comes a realization that when she moves out she won't be next door to Lena anymore. And that's the saddest thought of all this, really. She and Adam are friends and it hurts to ruin that but, at the same time, Adam doesn't compare to Lena. Friend-wise or more.

But Kara doesn't tell Lena that. Instead she texts, _only if it's at your place._

.

.

.

"Hey, a little help?" James grunts, staggering under the weight of the box Winn slides him. It's the biggest of the bunch, which means it holds the unassembled crib Kara still hasn't touched.

Already they've gotten a lot of progress done, the four of them; Winn sits in the back of James's truck and pushes down boxes that James, Alex, and Kara carry off. The back of the truck is mostly empty by now and the sun is just barely beginning to set, and Kara finds herself staring up at the sky.

By now, Lena will have gotten home, if she doesn't stay too long at the office. Lena is still in the dark about the fact that Kara is moving out, mostly because Kara's a little bit of a coward and she doesn't think Lena will really notice. After all, they've seen each other less and less now that Veronica is in the picture. It's not that big a deal.

"Kara?" Alex prompts, bringing her back to the real world. "You want to give James a hand, or should Winn?"

"I have no upper body strength," Winn interjects. "So I vote Kara."

"I've got it," Kara says, going to grab one end of the box. Alex's apartment has a working elevator, thankfully, so they're able to take it up that way.

By the time they come back, Winn is gathering one of the last two boxes in his arms—probably per Alex's orders—and James grabs the last with a laugh at Winn's expense.

Alex stays behind with Kara for a minute, and they lean against the truck. Kara looks dejected and she knows it, so it's no wonder all Alex does is squeeze Kara's shoulder and playfully say,

"You know, this would be the perfect time to say I told you so."

"You can't be mean to me," Kara says, making a show of stepping away from Alex. "You're the one who's moving in your sister and not your girlfriend."

"You always come first," Alex says, looping an arm around Kara's neck to drag her back. "Besides, it's the opposite of a problem. Now that you've brought Mike to live here, Maggie'll never want to leave."

Kara laughs, but it's a little weak. She doesn't even know why she feels so disappointed with herself, but she does. She wishes she could've sucked it up and stayed with Adam, or waited to find an apartment by herself, but now she's just here—back where she started when she got pregnant.

Alex nudges her gently in the direction of the elevator. "Come on," she says. "Let's get you moved in."

Alex's apartment is so much smaller than Adam's, barely a two bedroom, but one bedroom is stuffed to the brim with exercise equipment Alex keeps swearing she'll get rid of one day. For now, a lot of Kara's stuff stays in boxes stacked up in the hallway; she'll have to stay on the couch for the most part, until they clean out the second bedroom.

But this place has always felt more like home, and a small part of Kara is relieved to be back.

Mike has woken up from his nap when Kara and Alex finally make their way upstairs. He stays, sleepily content, in Maggie's arms as she flips through channels on the TV midst Winn's protests and James's amused laughter. This is it—this is Kara's family, and she lets them draw her into their warmth, leaning against James's shoulder and obligingly watching the cooking show Maggie settles on.

"You know, we're supposed to be unpacking Kara's stuff," Alex scolds halfheartedly, but she gets into Chopped as much as the next person does so she doesn't really try that hard to get everyone up.

They don't actually move until three episodes later, and that's mostly because it's late and James and Winn need to go home. Kara hugs them goodbye and promises to text them if she ever needs their help, and then she and Alex set up the couch and Mike's bassinet for the night.

Maggie leaves, too. "I have an early morning," she says apologetically as she kisses Alex by the door. "But I can come by later tomorrow if you want to tackle that crib again, Kara."

"He's still a little young," Kara says, and accepts Maggie's one-armed hug.

"Fine, maybe next time," Maggie says, leaning over to thumb Mike's cheek adoringly. "Bye, papas."

Alex mouths _see_? behind Maggie's back, and Kara hides her smile behind her hand. Then it's just the three of them—Kara, Mike, and Alex. Kara changes Mike into pajamas, and Alex picks up a little around the living room, the two of them quietly going about their nighttime routines.

"You can sleep in my room if you want," Alex offers when she's done, but Kara shakes her head.

"You have to be up early, too," Kara negates. "Mike doesn't need to wake up with your alarm clock. He already wakes up early enough as it is."

"Okay," Alex says, squeezing Kara's shoulder. "I'll let you get some sleep. You need it."

It's the weekend and Kara's slept too much, but she understands; Alex is worried, like Alex tends to be. Kara doesn't fault her for it, and tells her goodnight anyway.

Alex turns off the lights when she leaves, save for the one in the kitchen. It reaches the living room, just barely, and Kara sets Mike down into his bassinet to help him fall asleep. He's halfway there, eyes half-closing, and Kara hums to him softly as she brushes the hair from his forehead.

She goes to sleep only after he does. She doesn't tell Alex it took her a while to fall asleep.

.

.

.

Cat doesn't say anything about Adam. In fact, she doesn't say much to Kara at all; lately, she's been holed up with her lawyer, probably discussing the fact that she's being sued. Judging by the raised—albeit muffled—voices, it doesn't seem to be going well.

Winn comes to sit with Kara after lunch even though his cubicle is halfway across the room. He even shares his chicken nuggets. Everyone's being too nice to her lately, and while Kara appreciates the fact that they're on her side, it's also sort of tiring to have to say _I'm fine_ over and over again.

She tells Winn as much. "You know I'm fine, right?" she asks. "About Adam, and everything."

"Yes, absolutely," Winn says, bobbing his head.

Kara frowns. "You're just saying that."

"And you're angry-squeezing the ketchup again," Winn says, opening up Kara's fist and removing the half-empty ketchup packet curled against her palm. "So, I'm not so sure what to believe."

Kara sighs, gaze drifting to Cat's office. "I just—I don't know what's going to happen with Ms. Grant."

"Because she's being sued?"

"Because I broke her son's heart," Kara says.

"That's being a liiiitle presumptuous, don't you think?" Winn says. "Also, just a tad dramatic. What is this, a movie?"

" _You_ try having a baby with your boss's son," Kara says, "and tell me how it's not a little dramatic."

Winn holds up his hands in surrender. "Okay, point taken," he says. "But I don't think she'll hold it against you."

"Are you kidding? When me and Adam broke up she thanked me for driving her son away just as they were starting to connect."

"...right. But!" Winn brightens, finger raised in the air. "This time he _won't_ be running away. Because he has Mike."

"I hope so," Kara says, admitting one of her biggest fears: that Adam might run again. She likes to think she knows Adam enough and that he would never do that to Mike, but at the same time Adam hasn't had the best track record with sticking around.

Winn's forehead creases in concern, obviously about to ask, but then something catches his eye and he falls backward and out of his seat with a surprised squeak.

Kara squints at him in confusion, but then she hears,

"Surely I don't pay you to break my chairs, Wit."

Kara nearly falls herself as she swivels around. "Ms. Grant!" she says. "It's not time for your two o'clock yet, is it?"

"If it were, I trust you would know," says Cat, eyebrow raised. Before Kara can splutter an apology, Cat tilts her head in the direction of her office and continues, "No matter. I need you in my office."

Kara hastily grabs a napkin to wipe the ketchup off her fingers as she follows, sending Winn a glance she hopes conveys that if she dies Alex can't touch her Harry Potter boxed set. He barely has a chance to send her a sympathetic look before Kara steps foot into the lion's den, and then it's just her and Cat alone.

"What can I do for you, Ms. Grant?" Kara asks politely, not moving to take a seat just yet in case Cat is about to send her out any second.

Cat takes a moment to answer as she sinks into her chair. "I'm not sure, Kiera," she says. "What can _I_ do for you?"

Kara pauses. "Um. Nothing?"

"Nothing? Really? Well, if you're sure," Cat says with a shrug, lifting her cell phone up as she gets a notification.

Kara can't help but feel that she's failed some sort of test. "If this is about Adam..."

"Adam? Oh no." Cat waves the idea away, tapping away at her phone. "I love him, bless his soul, but that boy has no idea what he's doing. I trust you let him down gently?"

"I...I guess so?" Kara's sure she must look foolish, eyes wide and jaw slack. "So he told you?"

"No, but he was rather mopey all weekend," Cat sighs, setting her phone down. "And it was clear he'd caught feelings again. He's so _sentimental_. He must get it from his father."

"Well if this isn't about Adam, then..." Kara trails off, not trying to be rude about it, but she _is_ pretty confused.

"I need a favor, Kiera," Cat says. "I'm sure by now you've done your share of research on Zorel & Astra Law." (Kara hasn't, but she nods along anyway.) "I need you to scope them out."

"Scope them out?" Kara echoes.

"Treat it like a story," Cat says. "Figure out what this Alura Zorel wants. I'm sure she'll pick up the phone for you if I make sure she does. Schedule a meeting and tell me everything you learn."

"Are you sure you don't want one of the reporters to do this?" Kara asks hesitantly.

"If I wanted one of those reporters, I would've asked for them," Cat says. "Now go on, get Wit to help if you need him. You have one week. And Kara?"

Kara pauses, hand on the door. "Yes, Ms. Grant?"

"I trust you won't let me down."

That isn't the usual Cat Grant dismissal when it comes to tasks Kara usually doesn't do. It's not a _don't let me down_ , not a warning that will stay with Kara throughout the entire task. Cat _trusts_ her. The thought is both terrifying and exciting.

Winn is still at Kara's desk when she gets back. "So?" he whispers as if people are listening. "Do you still have a job?"

"I think Ms. Grant just gave me an assignment outside of my usual job," Kara says, still mystified. "I think she might trust me."

"Oh my God that's terrible. No. Wait. That was premature," Winn says. "I was sort of planning for what to say if you were fired. But this is great, Kara! Right?"

"I don't know," Kara says. "Yes? But I also don't know what to do. Will you help me?"

Winn grins. "Duh. I've got you," he says solemnly, and holds out his fist for a fist bump that Kara humors him with. "Schott and Danvers, working as one! We should get a team name."

"...we're not going to be named anything Star Trek related."

" _Rude_."

.

.

.

Kara misses her old routine.

Well, that's not so true. She does love working again, but she misses _Lena_. So when she gets a rare day off, the only thing Kara wants to do is spend some time with her best friend. It doesn't occur to her that Lena may be busy when she actually gets to Luthor Corp, so Kara's attempt at a surprise doesn't exactly go according to plan.

Jess isn't even at her desk, which is odd enough. And when Kara goes to cautiously knock on Lena's door, she hears a loud burst of laughter from the other side. For a second she worries it's Veronica and she's interrupting— _again_ —but then the door swings open and Jack Spheer stands on the other side.

They stare at each other in bewilderment, and then Jack snaps his fingers, a slow smile overtaking his face.

"Kara," he says. "Right?"

"Jack?" Kara is briefly confused for a minute, but then she remembers; Jack is friends with Lena, and of course he likely comes by her office too. "Oh, are you visiting Lena?"

"I couldn't deny her my presence any longer." Jack winks, roguishly charming, and Kara doesn't know why but she feels a little awkward about it.

"I should go," Kara finds herself saying, not wanting to interrupt.

"Go? You just got here!" Jack says. "Come in, I insist. We're just having lunch."

She shouldn't, but Kara lets him usher her in anyway. True to his word, there are takeout boxes all over the coffee table that suggest they've been here for a while already. Lena is sitting by the edge of the couch, frowning down at the laptop on her lap and typing something out so painstakingly slow it looks tedious.

"Jack, who's at the door?" Lena asks absentmindedly, not looking up once, even after Jack shuts the door behind them.

"Hey, Lena," Kara says with a small wave, even if Lena doesn't catch it. "Sorry to try and surprise you. Again."

Lena's lips quirk upwards fondly, but she rolls her eyes nonetheless when she finally looks up. "Kara," she says. "You could've just called me."

"And ruin the surprise? I couldn't," Kara says, coming to sit next to Lena. She's sure it was Jack's seat, but Jack doesn't seem to mind, instead squeezing in on Kara's other side. "What are you up to?"

"Just going over some numbers Lex messed up," Lena says, setting the laptop aside. "It can wait." She looks like she has a question of her own—probably about why Kara's here—but then her eyes pass Kara to Jack. "Oh God, you probably think I'm so rude. This is Jack, an old college friend of mine. Jack, this is Kara. She's the best assistant Cat Grant has ever had."

"Lena's just saying that," Kara says, flushing, but Jack just laughs.

"Come on, don't downplay it now, Kara," he says. "It _is_ really impressive you've managed to keep that job. And she hasn't threatened to fire you yet, has she?"

"Not to my face," Kara says, "but there's always next year."

As they both laugh, Lena looks between the two of them, forehead creasing in confusion. "Wait," she says. "Do you two know each other?"

Kara's mouth falls open to reply, but she isn't sure what to say. She didn't expect on seeing Jack again, and since she's never told Lena about their blind date, it feels weird to try and bring it up now. Jack, luckily, has no such reservations.

"I take it leaving embarrassing stories to me is just a Danvers trait, then?" Jack jokes. "Lena, didn't Kara tell you? We're madly in love, eloping tomorrow. It was such a whirlwind of passion we couldn't bear to wait."

Lena glares. Kara stifles a laugh.

"Alright, so we went on one date," Jack relents. "But it was a lovely one. Sadly, she loves another—"

Kara elbows him, probably harder than necessary. " _No_ ," she says, more to Lena than Jack lest she somehow believe it's true.

"Okay, so she doesn't love another," Jack says, exaggerating his groan of pain. "That was a joke. For the record."

There's an odd look in Lena's eyes—relief, maybe—but it passes as quickly as it comes. "Well, tell me the details," she says. "I'm curious."

"Of our flaming tornado of passion?"

Lena feigns a grimace. "This is why you failed English in college," she says.

"Your words hurt me," Jack says, grasping at his chest. "Honestly, there's not much too it. We had a nice evening out, but it just wasn't right. Sorry to break your heart, Kara."

"None taken," Kara says, but Lena's looking at her a little strangely so Kara does what she does best: she changes the subject, and surveys their abandoned lunch with interest. "Ooh, did you guys get potstickers?"

"Lena had a craving, apparently," Jack says, passing her the box. "Personally, they're not my favorite."

"Further proof we could never be in love," Kara says, already shoving one into her mouth.

Jack laughs, pleasantly surprised at the joke. "So you really wouldn't settle for me?"

"Sorry, this is a deal breaker," Kara says.

Lena clears her throat, cutting off Jack before he can retort. "Jack," she says, sending him a look Kara doesn't catch. "Didn't you say you had a meeting soon?"

"Hm? Oh. Oh, yes, _that_ meeting." Jack taps the side of his head. "Thanks for the reminder. I'll leave you two to it, then. Don't have too much fun without me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Lena says faux-sweetly. "Come on, I'll walk you out."

While they say their goodbyes, Kara checks her phone. Just in case Adam has texted. For now, she's been dropping Mike off while she's at work and taking him home afterwards; Kara also takes Mike on the weekend. It's not ideal, but it works fine.

Unfortunately, Adam's texts since the kiss have been scarcer, and his small talk more curt. He's pulling away and Kara knows it's partly her fault, too; it's not like she's trying to make sure they stay friends. For now, she figures, the best thing she can do is give Adam some space.

She turns off her phone—no messages and all—when Lena comes back.

"Do you want some water?" Lena asks, breezing past the couch without sitting down yet. Instead, she pours two glasses without waiting for Kara's answer.

"Sure?" Kara has barely looked back up from her phone before a cold glass is being pressed into her hand. "So, you...don't have any meetings anytime soon either? Since you already took your lunch and—"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The question throws her for a loop. "About Jack?" Kara guesses, and the unwavering look of hurt—mostly confusion, too—on Lena's face is answer enough. "I don't—I don't know."

"So you already knew he was my friend," Lena says. "And that he was in town."

"He told me, yeah." Kara fixes her glasses awkwardly. "I didn't think I had to tell you."

"You don't have to tell me anything, Kara," Lena says, and she looks away, sipping at her water like it's something stronger.

Kara hesitates. "But?" she prompts.

"Nothing." Lena still won't look at her. "I don't care if you dated him. That's none of my business."

"But you're mad at me," Kara observes, and Lena scoffs.

"I'm not mad," she says. Quieter, she adds, "I'm sorry. I thought maybe..." She doesn't finish the sentence.

Kara moves closer so that their thighs are touching. Still, Lena doesn't budge.

"It's not because I didn't...want to tell you," Kara says. "Or that I wanted to hide it from you. I don't know why I did it—maybe because you were trying to decide if you should date Veronica, and I knew there would never be a second date with Jack."

Lena turns, finally, and her expression has softened. "I wouldn't have judged you," she says. "I—I know it's not my place, but I just thought that would have been something you told me."

"I should've," Kara agrees. "I just felt weird about it."

That, at least, is true. She doesn't divulge that she felt awkward about it because it pretty much affirmed her crush on Lena; she lets Lena think it's because of the fact that she wasn't going to go on a second date with Lena's friend.

"Right," Lena says, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me. Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Okay," Kara agrees. She has a feeling they can't really forget this, but she doesn't say that aloud.

Lena's phone beeps, and Lena sighs. "And I'm even _more_ sorry, because you're right—I have a meeting soon. Raincheck? I can come by yours after work."

Just like that, Kara realizes she's sunken herself into a hole of unsaid things. "Actually, I...moved back in with Alex."

Her words give Lena pause. "Oh," she says, and that's all she says. There are a million underlying question in her tone, but she doesn't ask anything. Just, "Sorry, I have a lot of work to do, I—"

"I guess I'd better get out of your hair," Kara says, and she tries to smile but she suspects it misses the mark; she feels like a terrible friend, and it doesn't help that Lena's answering smile is just as fake.

(Kara doesn't try to hug Lena goodbye; Lena's already turning away as soon as Kara stands up.)

.

.

.

"Mike," Kara says, "we need to reach an agreement, here."

Mike, clad in only his diaper, sticks his fist into his mouth and stares up, unblinking, as Kara tries to be stern. Eliza laughs beside her, moving Mike's hand out of his mouth gently.

"Is he not a fan of water?" she asks, already starting to run Mike's bath water.

"He loves it," Kara says. "Or he hates it. There's no in between."

"I take it it's one of those hate days?" Eliza clicks her tongue disapprovingly when the water turns out too hot.

"We'll see," Kara says. "Right now all he wants to do is eat."

"There'll be time for that later," Eliza tells Mike, handing him a rubber duck he immediately tries to put into his mouth. "I think it's warm enough. Touch it for me?"

Kara puts her wrist under the running water. "It's good," she says. While Eliza sets up Mike's tub, Kara takes off his diaper and gets him situated.

His eyes widen at the first touch of water, but as Kara takes a soapy washcloth and starts scrubbing him he doesn't fuss. Eliza distracts him with funny faces that he giggles at, and helps Kara shampoo his hair while Kara shields his eyes from the soap.

He's getting so big, her baby. Kara doesn't know how she feels about that. She towels him off when they're done, applying lotion to every inch of his body as Eliza lays down beside him and entertains him with the same duck from before.

Once he's dressed in his pajamas, she props him up against pillows so he might play better. He's well on his way to sitting up by himself, but Kara doesn't take any chances; she hovers by him just in case he starts falling forward.

"I have to admit," Eliza says after a few minutes of this, "I'm a bit surprised you moved back in with Alex."

Kara shrugs. "I couldn't stay," she says.

Eliza knows the story of Adam, of course, but she hasn't pried. She still doesn't. "Yes, but Alex's apartment has always been a bit cluttered. Don't James or Winn have much nicer places?"

"You know James is trying to propose soon," Kara says. "So Winn will likely move out soon anyway."

"Hmm," Eliza says. "Well, what about your other friend? Lena."

"There's no way I could've moved in next door to Adam," Kara says. "And the rent would've been way more than I could afford, anyway. Ms. Grant charges Adam a lot less than she's supposed to, and even paying half of that was a lot for me."

"Why would she charge her son rent?" Eliza frowns. "I wouldn't do that."

"He insisted," Kara explains, though she smiles at how miffed Eliza looks. "They've got a strange relationship."

"I'll say," Eliza says with a shake of her head. "Kara, you know you're always welcome to move in with me, right? I can help out with Mike if Adam decides to go back to work."

"Move back in with my _mom_?" Kara shudders in dramatic horror. "I'd rather ask Lena to move in."

A small smile tugs Eliza's lips upward. "So Lena..."

" _Eliza_."

"What?" The smile only grows. "She's a nice girl."

"She has a girlfriend," Kara says. "And I've already messed everything up, I think."

"There's no way you could have done that, my dear," Eliza says. "She's crazy about you."

"She has a _girlfriend_."

"Well, don't say I didn't tell you earlier," Eliza says. "Why don't you invite her over for Christmas? I'd love to meet her."

"She probably has plans." Kara doesn't look at her mother as she says this, focusing instead on catching Mike before he can tumble forward. "Besides, we're not really talking right now. Or, I guess, she's not talking to me."

"And you're just giving her space, aren't you?"

She _is_ , but Kara doesn't say that. Kara has never been huge on sharing what she's feeling; she's better at bottling up emotions until it's too late. Lena is mostly the same way, but she's been _trying_ and Kara hasn't and it makes Kara feel terrible. She remembers what Veronica had said, about not breaking Lena's heart.

(She hopes she hasn't.)

"You should tell me about your garden," Kara changes the subject. "I've always wanted a vegetable garden."

"You don't even eat vegetables, much less garden them," Eliza teases, but she—as she always does—doesn't press, instead going into detail about the state of the soil and the effect of the chilly weather.

Kara sinks against the pillows, Mike in between the two of them, and lets herself relax.

.

.

.

It's Christmas Eve and they're doing _everything_ last minute.

They're at James's apartment because his is the biggest, but James doesn't even have a tree. Or any decorations. Winn and Maggie leave to remedy the tree situation, and while they do that James prepares enough food to last days. Kara and Alex, in the meantime (since they are both banned from the kitchen), work at setting up lights outside.

"I think this is dangerous," Kara says as Alex balances on the fire escape. "And I'm not sure if James's landlord will appreciate the lights."

"It's just his window," Alex says. "Besides, it will look nice."

"Or it'll be a lit-up sign saying _fire hazard, apartment 237, you can't miss it_."

"Less talking, more unrolling," Alex says, stringing the lights as quickly as Kara untangles them. She reaches to the top of the window, just on the tips of her toes, and Kara has to look away.

"If you die, Maggie will kill me," Kara says.

"If I die I'll come back to haunt you. Pass me the hooks."

Eventually, they do get the lights up. Only about half of them actually light up, but they don't fight it. Alex settles with searching through TV channels for the perfect Christmas movie once they get back inside, and Kara goes into the kitchen to see if she can find some snacks.

"I come in peace," Kara announces, hands up to show her innocence. "And for popcorn."

"As long as you don't try to touch anything else," James says absentmindedly, but he's wearing a dorky snowman apron that was a gift from Winn so Kara doesn't take him seriously.

Kara takes the low-fat popcorn out of James's pantry and frowns at the box, but sticks a bag into the microwave anyway. James squeezes past her and checks the oven, so off into his world that when the popcorn starts popping he startles at the sound.

"Hey, what's up with you?" Kara asks, poking James's shoulder. "You're in your own world."

James smiles, sheepishly. "Sorry," he says. "I just want this to go perfectly."

"It's _Winn_. He'll say yes even if you burn the cookies," Kara says.

"Wait, do you think they're burning?"

Before he can panic and check the oven again, Kara grabs his shoulders (as best she can; he's too _tall_ ) and says, firmly, "James. You are going to go out there and propose to your boyfriend and it's going to go _well_. Okay?"

"Unless you can tell the future, I'm not so sure that's how it works," James points out, and Kara resists the urge to roll her eyes.

"You're being too pessimistic again," she says. "Come on, practice with me."

"Practice?"

"Yes! Get on your knee, propose to me with this." Kara thrusts an oven mitt at him. "Now woo me."

James stares at her blankly. "This is the most terrible thing you've ever suggested."

"I'm waiting, James."

With a long, suffering sigh, James gets down on one flour-dusted, jean-clad knee, snowman apron crinkling against the floor. Kara puts her hands on her hips and tries to emulate Winn.

"Kara Danvers—"

"I'm Winn, I'm not Kara," Kara corrects him.

"...I'm not going to pretend you're Winn."

"How else do you expect me to get into character?" Kara asks impatiently, and James groans—seemingly about to give in—when a knock at the door distracts them both.

It's Alex, and she stares at them weirdly for a few seconds before remembering to speak. "If you two are done with...whatever this is, Adam's at the door, Kara."

"Oh, shoot!" Kara exclaims. "He's early. Hold on, James."

She hurries into James's bedroom to get Mike, who is still fast asleep. Nonetheless, she gently wakes him up as she picks him up and takes him outside.

Adam is waiting on James's couch, nervously avoiding Alex's glaring. Kara sends her a pointed _don't-do-that_ glare of her own before she puts Mike into his car seat.

"Hey, sorry you had to drive all the way out here," Kara apologizes as Adam jumps off the couch, obviously eager to leave. "He's been asleep for like an hour, but I fed him before he fell asleep."

"It's fine, he'll go back to sleep on the drive to my mom's," Adam says. "I'll bring him back tomorrow morning to your sister's, right?"

"Right," Kara says, because that's what they've agreed on; Adam gets Mike Christmas Eve, Kara gets him Christmas Day. They don't go over pointless niceties as it's still too awkward for that, so Kara just kisses Mike goodbye as Adam makes to leave.

But he stops at the doorway. "I almost forgot," he says. "I was going through the mail, and I guess Lena sent this a while ago?" He sounds confused because Lena does, after all, live next door but Kara grabs the envelope and nearly forgets how to breathe.

It's just like her Thanksgiving invite, sort of like a small inside joke, this invite to a Christmas party at Lena's apartment.

"Thanks," Kara manages to say, and Adam nods and leaves. Kara sinks into the couch and stares at the invite for a minute or two, not sure what to _think_ , until Alex comes to sit down next to her.

"Is this your rom-com moment?" Alex asks. "I can be the dramatic driver slash getaway car."

Kara doesn't dignify that with a response. "I thought we were fighting," she says. "Or drifting." But there's still a chance Lena sent the invite before, so she tries not to let herself hope.

"Well, there's no shame in going to say hi," Alex says. "Nothing like the holidays to give you a fresh start, right?"

Kara is much more tempted to push the invite aside and go back into the kitchen where their cold popcorn is waiting. But she also can't seem to tear her eyes away from the invite, either.

"I need to make this right," Kara says. "I need to let her know how much she means to me."

"That sounds like it's straight out of a rom-com."

Kara isn't listening anymore, grabbing her coat and her car keys and searching for where she left Lena's gift. Alex doesn't interfere in the whirlwind, instead poking her head into the kitchen to tell James that they're leaving.

"Wait, where are you guys going?" James says, running out of the kitchen with the makeshift ring (okay, the oven mitt). "I still need to propose!"

"Propose?" Alex, who has been in the dark about this piece of news, narrows her eyes at James. "You're proposing to Winn and you didn't tell me?"

The front door bangs open, and Maggie—along with the top half of a Christmas tree—come tumbling in just in time to catch the last of Alex's sentence.

"Who's proposing to Winn?" Maggie asks in a huff, more preoccupied with dragging the giant tree inside than she is with getting an answer.

"Yeah, who's proposing to me?" Winn echoes, dragging his feet with his part as he shoves the back of the tree inside. "I know I have a pretty sweet life insurance packet, so I'm pretty high on the marriage market."

"Me," Kara blurts out when James takes too long to reply. "I'm proposing that I should be Winn's partner for game night."

"Sadly, I'm a taken man," Winn says, and he winks at James before Maggie jerks the tree so hard he stumbles over. "Ow! Hey, Maggie, take it easy!"

"If you'd move your ass, Schott, this wouldn't be a problem!"

Kara sighs, glad that they've dodged a bullet, but when she looks at James he doesn't look relieved. In fact, he looks as nervous as he had earlier in the kitchens, and Kara doesn't even get to ask him if he's okay before he says, so fast it's nearly indistinguishable,

"Actually, it's me. Who's proposing."

There is stunned silence all around. Kara puts her hands over her mouth; Maggie drops the tree; Alex wordlessly shoves Winn forward. James awkwardly gets down on one knee and he's embarrassed, everyone can tell, still dressed in the Christmas apron and holding the tattered oven mitt.

Winn seems to have lost his voice. "But you're—but we're—"

"I left the ring in the car," James says, filling in the gaps Winn can't. "I wanted this to be perfect, and that didn't really work out, but—I don't want to wait." He drops the oven mitt and takes Winn's hand. "You're my best friend, Winn. And the love of my life. I can't imagine—"

"Wait," Winn says, "did you write some sort of long, lovey-dovey speech?"

James blinks at the interruption. "Uh, yes?"

"I thought I was bulldozing you!" Winn drops to his knees and hugs James fiercely, an ear-splitting grin overtaking his face.

"What?" James says, looking up at his friends for help. "So...is that a yes?"

"Oh! Oh, right, yes!" Winn says, and that's enough to make James start grinning widely too, arms encircling Winn's waist tightly as he buries his face against Winn's neck.

Alex nudges Kara towards the door. "That's our cue to give them some space, I think," she murmurs, and Kara remembers Lena and lets herself be led.

Maggie tags along, too. They take Kara's car; Alex immediately shuts off the radio when the first few bars of "All I Want For Christmas is You" starts playing on the Christmas radio Kara keeps on. Kara and Maggie sing the rest of the song themselves, just to annoy her, and Alex threatens to throw them out of the car at least twice before they finally reach Lena's apartment.

"So are you going to go admit your love to her or something?" Maggie asks as they hurry into the lobby to escape the beginnings of a snowfall outside.

"No," Kara says, hitting the elevator button. "I'm going to tell her she's my best friend."

"I'm no expert in romance, but I'm pretty sure that is the worst way to admit your love to someone."

But Kara is determined, and she doesn't really wait for the others to catch up as soon as the elevator comes to stop. She doesn't even have a _plan_ , really, and the brazen, spur-of-the-moment mission she's on ends with stumbling into Lena's apartment because the door is ajar and Kara tries to knock too hard.

The first thing she notices is that Lena's apartment—usually so cold, so empty—is full of life. There is a large crowd of people inside, all of them dressed in cocktail dresses and suits, soft Christmas music playing in the background and Kara almost goes back to double-check if she got the rooms mixed up.

But halfway across the room she spots Lena. Kara's wearing jeans and her coat is too bulky over her shoulders, but Lena is a _vision_ in contrast, hair up but a few loose strands hanging low by her jaw, red dress fancier than anything half of the people in here are wearing. She's talking to Veronica and her brother, laughing in that carefree, beautiful way, eyes and nose crinkling, and if Kara had any doubt before, she'd realize it now; she's in way over her head for this woman.

And God, help her, Lena _looks her way_. Immediately, the remains of the laughter on her face disappear, giving way to unbridled confusion. Maybe a touch of curiosity.

"Kara?" Lena says, so soft Kara almost doesn't hear her.

Kara lets out a quiet, sheepish breath and says, "Hey."

Lena leaves the others behind and goes over to where Kara stands awkwardly by the door, a tentative smile on her face. "I didn't think you would show," she says.

"I almost didn't," Kara says, tugging on the collar of her coat because it feels like she's slowly suffocating. "This is a nice party."

"It was mostly Veronica's doing," Lena says, gesturing to the crowd surrounding them. "I don't even know how she managed to get so many people. It's a little overwhelming."

"You've never liked parties, I know," Kara says, and drops her gaze when all Lena does is nod and look away. "You look beautiful, by the way."

She isn't sure if she's imagining it, but Lena's cheeks color pink, eyes snapping back to Kara's face as if surprised. "So do you," she says after a second. "Even if you missed the semiformal memo."

"I might've just skimmed the invite," Kara says, and Lena laughs, and that's how she knows they'll be okay. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much. But you're my best friend. And I'm going to fix that."

"You don't owe me anything, Kara," Lena says. "I'm perfectly okay with whatever you want to share with me. You're a private person. I understand."

"So are you," Kara points out. "And I don't want you to think I don't trust you enough with what's going on with me. I'm—I'm just trying to sort some things out, and I forget to say how I'm feeling out loud. Let me try, okay? I want to try."

Lena bites her lip, a poor attempt to stifle a smile. "Okay," she says. "You can start by distracting me from this awful party."

"It is not an awful party, stop," Kara gasps. "I swear I saw a dessert buffet back there. _And_ you even have Christmas music."

"Well," Lena says, "the others weren't sold on NSYNC."

"I take it back, this is an awful party full of awful people."

Lena laughs. "Let me finish up with Lex and Veronica," she says, and she even takes Kara's coat, fingertips brushing Kara's neck and making the butterflies in her stomach swim. "And you can go explore the buffet."

"Wow, you really _are_ my best friend," Kara teases, and Lena smirks and shoves at Kara's shoulder lightly before she leaves. Kara finally looks around for Alex and Maggie, and when she spots them she gives them an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

She doesn't wait to see their response, turning on her heel to go and see what that buffet is all about. Unfortunately, she's a little too eager and she ends up crashing into someone. And their drink.

"Hey!" cries the victim, champagne dripping down the front of her silver dress. "Watch where you're going!"

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry!" Kara says. "I can get a napkin, or—" Her words die on her lips when she realizes that she's knocked into none other than Siobhan Smythe. She's never met Siobhan formally, but she's seen her in enough of Winn's pictures to recognize her friend's ex-girlfriend.

"No need," Siobhan says, frowning down at her chest. "This is ruined, thanks." When she looks up, recognition clicks, too. "Wait. You're Winn's friend, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Kara says. "I'm Kara."

"Siobhan," Siobhan says. "But I'm guessing you know that." Her eyes drop to Kara's clothes, and she continues, "Bold choice, for a Luthor party."

"I didn't read the invite well enough," Kara tries to explain, but she feels weird, oddly flushed as Siobhan continues to rove over Kara's body with her eyes. "I-I wasn't even sure I could come."

"Lucky me you did, then," Siobhan says, and she steps back, a pleased smirk on her lips when Kara just blinks at her. "See you around, Kara?"

"Uh," Kara flounders, "see you."

(She wonders, privately, what _that_ was all about.)


	10. yo no se mi amor que hago buscandote

**late update, again, for a chapter i really hate but hopefully it gets better after this? here's hoping at least lmao. thank you all for sticking with this fic still, i think i replied to all comments last chapter but let me know if i didn't!**

 **this chapter is only bearable because of my beta katie, plz go follow her on tumblr at theycallmetablemama. she's the real MVP.**

 **note: mike's six months, now? i think. don't ask me about the specifics of the timeline.**

* * *

"I've been thinking that I should get a pet," Lena says, and when Kara looks up from painstakingly stirring her sugar into her coffee she finds Lena tilting her head pensively. She is even gazing out of the window, as if just now entertaining the thought.

(Kara knows that's not true, though, because Lena plans everything in advance. And undoubtedly worries about things days in advance, too.)

"Like a puppy?" Kara asks, sipping from her cup when she's added enough sugar and trying not to smile at the horror that washes over Lena's face.

"Not a puppy," Lena immediately negates. "Something much simpler."

Kara feigns disappointment. "But puppies are so _cute_."

"So are other animals. Like fish, objectively."

"Fish?" Kara echoes, crinkling her nose dramatically. "I guess so. But you can't pet a fish."

Lena rolls her eyes. Good-naturedly, but still. "That doesn't matter," she says. "They're practical pets."

"Sure," Kara says, "they're just not as fun as puppies. You can't play with a fish."

"I didn't come to you to be _judged_ , Kara. You're supposed to be on my side."

"Ooh, there's a side I have to be on? That sounds serious," Kara teases, and before Lena can roll her eyes again, the waitress comes up with their plates.

"Thank you," Lena tells her, and to Kara she says, "Well, Veronica thinks it's a terrible idea. She says I'm always caught up at work."

"But you're not," Kara says, focusing on pouring syrup over her waffles, but then the silence on Lena's part gets suspiciously long; Kara looks up just in time to catch Lena's guilty wince. "Wait. _Lena_!"

"It's not my fault Lex has been piling a ton of work on me lately," Lena protests weakly. "I've had to work just a bit of overtime."

"You said you were trying _not_ to do that," Kara says, pointedly, and Lena sighs.

"Lex is a brilliant man," she says. "I have no doubt about that. But he's so far _away_ lately. I don't know what else I can do. I tried bringing it up to the board, but they don't seem to care. Maybe they can't see it like I can."

"So you're just...picking up his slack?" Kara asks.

"I've tried talking to him about it, but he always avoids me," Lena says, forlornly stirring her own coffee cup. "He's taken to screening my calls sometimes. I just hope he hasn't gotten himself into any trouble."

"Maybe he's on the run from the government and doesn't want to drag you down with him."

"Yes, I'm sure that's exactly it," Lena says, and she rolls her eyes again, but she's almost laughing and that's enough for Kara.

"Well, if Lex is going underground, it means he can't be here to take your side on the fish war," Kara says. "Don't worry, I have your back. I support you getting a fish even if it's lame."

"No, I'm pretty sure Veronica's right." Lena starts to poke at her plate with a resigned shrug. "I would probably never have time to feed it."

"She's forgetting that you have me, who can feed your fish when you can't," Kara interjects, because stupid jealousy has managed to make her say things she can't even follow through on. For a second she panics, thinking that the offer is just going to remind Lena of the glaringly obvious space between them lately.

Luckily, Lena doesn't seem to catch on; she just snorts, disbelievingly, "What, are you going to break into my apartment to do it?"

"Why not?" Kara says, trying her best to grin. "Payback, right?"

"Oh, I see. You break into your neighbor's apartment _once_ and suddenly she feels the need to get revenge." Lena's eyes are sparkling with amusement as she looks back up, the corner of her mouth tugging up into a half-smile. "You're not as innocent and sweet as you seem, Kara Danvers."

"And you're not as scary as you try to be, Lena Luthor," Kara says, with a pointed tilt of her head that makes Lena's smile grow.

"I've never tried to be scary," Lena counters. "Intimidating, maybe. But more like a badass."

"You cry when you drunk-watch The Notebook, how are you a badass?"

"I told you that in _secrecy_ so I wouldn't be judged, Kara! You can't use it against me," Lena says, affronted, and Kara laughs.

"You're totally a badass, Lena," she promises, nudging Lena's leg beneath the table. "And you're going to be the best—er, fish-owner. For the record."

"It's just a thought," Lena corrects her. "I'm not sure yet. I don't want to make any rash decisions."

Kara has half a mind to tug Lena out of her seat and go on an impulsive fish-buying trip now, but she remembers that she has work-related plans with Winn. And Lena probably has work to do, too.

She takes a minute to regard Lena quietly, as Lena takes out her phone and frowns at whatever text she's just received. Momentary annoyance aside, Lena seems happier now. She's more open, more relaxed, definitely more affectionate; when she catches Kara watching her, she smiles warmly.

Kara returns the smile as best she can, flushed cheeks tinging pink. "Bad news?" she asks, more to distract herself than to get an answer.

"Nothing I can't fix," Lena replies with a shrug, tucking her phone back into her bag.

"If you need to deal with it right now—"

"Work can wait," Lena assures her. "I already had Jess clear my entire morning. I've cancelled on you too many times now, and besides, I figure you're worth the extra effort."

She means it in a friendly way, surely, but it still makes Kara's heart skip a beat. "Careful," Kara jokes, "people might start to think I'm a bad influence on you."

"Jess might already, actually," Lena teases, knocking her cup against the edge of Kara's plate. "But I think she likes you a lot more than she lets on."

"Or she just likes Mike."

Lena pauses, as if the thought's just dawned on her. "Yeah, that makes more sense."

"Wow, rude."

Lena just smirks and lets Kara kick her playfully, barely even a tap against her leg. "Enough about my work," she says. "What's going on with you? Any developments in the Cat Grant case?"

"Oh, _that_!" Kara lights up; she hadn't had a chance to tell Lena about it yet. "I'm going to scope out the law firm suing her. Like an undercover agent, almost! Only cooler, because I get to treat it like I'm a reporter."

"Kara, that's great! You'd be a wonderful reporter," Lena says.

"Speaking of..." Kara trails off as inconspicuously as she can manage. Which is not at all, really, because Lena tilts her head expectantly at the questioning lilt to Kara's voice.

"What?" Lena says, obviously amused at the lack of subtlety.

Kara doesn't let herself get too distracted by the crinkles of Lena's eyes; she has a goal in mind. "Can I interview you? For practice?" she pleads. "I really want to do a good job."

"Of course you can interview me," Lena answers, and she pushes Kara's glasses up her nose with a gentle touch. "I can even do you one better."

"Like what?" says Kara, momentarily preoccupied with the sudden proximity of Lena.

"I can go with you," Lena offers. "If you want, that is. I imagine I have some sway of my own that can help."

The plan had been to take Winn along, but Kara doesn't even think about him. "You'd do that?" she says, thrown for a loop. "Really?"

Something in Lena's expression falters. "If you want," she repeats hastily, and Kara doesn't even have to think about it.

"That would be...awesome," Kara says, blinking. "If you can make it, wow, that would be great! Ms. Grant wouldn't object."

Lena brightens, noticeably relieved. "Yeah?"

"Yeah! We can make a day of it," Kara says. "Unless you're too busy, or—I know you and Veronica might—"

She isn't sure if it's wishful thinking on her part, but at the mention of Veronica, Kara _swears_ she sees Lena's smile drop. Just the slightest, a blink-or-miss-it thing, before it comes back full force.

"No, let's do it," Lena assures her. "I think we deserve a day off, right?"

"I mean, technically I'll be working..."

"Then _I_ deserve a day off. Don't be so selfish, Kara," Lena mock-admonishes, any trace of hesitation gone, and Kara is unable to do anything but laugh.

"Alright, you've convinced me," Kara says, stealing a bit of french toast off of Lena's plate. "On one condition."

That seems to make Lena curious. "Okay," she says, angling her plate closer to Kara's. "Name it."

"I'm paying for brunch," Kara declares. "And you can't pull the rich person card, okay? I mean it!"

" _Fine_. But for the record—"

"Nope, you can't talk your way out of this one, I'm paying!"

And Lena lets her, eventually, but only because Kara won't let her touch the bill; they end up overstaying their brunch date, and Kara's late to get back to the office and Lena has at least three missed calls from Jess before they make themselves go.

Even then they linger outside on the sidewalk, and before Kara can apologize and run down the street to get to CatCo, she feels Lena's hand brush her wrist.

"Sorry I kept you too long," Lena says, though she doesn't look too sorry at all. Just reserved, maybe, like she isn't sure what emotion to show.

"You can apologize to Cat for me," Kara says, and smiles when Lena laughs; she loves Lena's laugh, that display of uninhibited joy she never sees enough. "Call me later, if you're free?"

"Sure," Lena agrees, corners of her mouth twitching into a shyer smile than Kara's used to, and before she can think about it too much, Lena loops her arms around Kara's neck and hugs her.

Lena doesn't initiate hugs often, and never quite like this, almost a desperate squeeze; her nose brushes Kara's neck, the sensation as cold as it is ticklish, but Kara doesn't say anything about that.

She squeezes back just as tightly instead, and wonders if Lena can feel the happy smile she's pressing into Lena's hair.

.

.

.

It feels weird, after being so used to living in Adam's building, to go back.

The hallways are starting to fade from her memory; Kara knocks on Lena's door by habit before she remembers that she's here to pick up Mike, not for a social call. Luckily, Lena doesn't seem to be home, and Kara very quickly turns on her heel and knocks on Adam's door the instant realization hits her.

He looks half-asleep when he answers it, certainly more undone than usual. "Hey, Kara," he says, running his fingers through his messy hair. "You're here early."

"It's noon," Kara says patiently, and Adam nods.

"Noon, right," he echoes. "Let me go and get him—he's sleeping."

Kara remains outside the door, aiming to remain as unaffected as possible even though Adam's indifference towards her is worrying. She worries for _him_ , even if he wouldn't want that. But he never seems to look her in the eye anymore, as if time's only worked to draw him away instead of repair whatever it is they had.

Mike is awake when Adam carries him out, and at the sight of Kara he gets excited, kicking his legs and shrieking so loud Adam noticeably winces.

Kara is just as glad to have him back in her arms. "Hi, baby!" she says, kissing his cheek giddily before she remembers Adam. "Oh, wait, did he eat yet?"

"He ate before he fell asleep, like three hours ago," Adam says. "Let me get his car seat, actually."

He disappears back inside and Kara watches him go, half tempted to ask if he's okay. But Adam's always been the type to shrug things off, and she's not sure if an empty answer would make it worth it.

So instead she lovingly thumbs over Mike's cheek as he drops his head onto her shoulder, soft hair tickling her neck. And when Adam comes back, she gives him another polite smile and pretends everything's okay.

"I'll bring him back tomorrow?" she says.

"Actually, I wanted to, uh, talk to you about that," Adam says, sheepish now. "I started work again." That in itself is news—news Kara is taken aback by—but there's more: "And I'm going on another business trip starting tomorrow. It was last minute, or else I would've told you sooner..."

"Oh, no, that's fine," Kara says quickly, trying to mask the disappointment heavy in the pit of her stomach. "I can keep him tomorrow then."

"Thanks," Adam says, and they relapse into awkward silence until he tries, "I can probably ask my mom to help you, you know, if you wanted. While I'm gone."

Ms. Grant would rather hire a nurse herself, but Kara doesn't say so. "No, really, we'll be fine," she assures him. "I can ask my mom to watch him while I'm at work."

"Okay, cool." Adam sticks his hands into his pockets and smiles, about as false as anyone can do so, and it does nothing to help the uneasy feeling in Kara's gut. "So how have you been?"

The question is unexpected, and Kara has to digest it for a minute before she remembers to answer. "Okay," she says. "How about you?"

"Okay," he echoes. Kara gets the feeling they're both not as okay as they say, but it's easier to ignore.

Adam knows a lot about her life, by now—they'd almost been friends, and Kara almost wants to tell him about James and Winn's engagement, about the new assignment Cat's put her on, about Lena's reluctance to get a pet. But she doesn't know if he'll want to hear it, doesn't know how much of their friendship was really Adam's feelings taking over, doesn't know if he'll even _care_.

"I'm glad you're okay," is what Kara settles on, finally, and this time when Adam smiles it's almost sincere.

"I'm glad you're okay, too," he says, and that's it.

It feels like a brush off of a goodbye, as well-intentioned as it may be, so Kara takes that as her cue to go, balancing Mike in one arm and the car seat in the other as she makes her way to the elevator.

She's never felt like she has belonged here, of course; the elevator has always been too spacious, too shiny; the carpet has always been the most expensive thing she's ever stepped foot on; even the other people living here have showed, time and time again, just how much better off than Kara they are.

(But she also kind of misses it, and she pushes back the feeling as far back as she possibly can on the ride down to the lobby.)

.

.

.

The invite to Lena's New Year's Eve party is neatly set atop Alex's welcome mat, silver envelope catching Kara's eye before she steps on it. She bends down to pick it up, unable to keep from grinning as she reads it.

There's even a little R.S.V.P box with a smiley face on the _yes_ box. (It's the cutest thing Kara has ever seen.)

She calls Lena as she locks the door behind her, taking note of the empty apartment; Alex must be over at Maggie's again tonight. She straps Mike into his baby swing as she waits, and by the time she's done and relaxing on the couch Lena answers, sounding preoccupied as she says,

"Hello?"

"Hey," Kara says, propping her feet up on the coffee table to get more comfortable. "Bad time?"'

"Kara, hey," Lena says, voice softening. "Sorry, I didn't check the caller ID. I've been waiting on...well. Lex's call."

"I can call back?"

"No, no," Lena says. "I've missed your voice. Really, I'm glad you called."

" _Just_ my voice?" Kara jokes, biting her lip to keep from grinning too wide.

"I missed you too, obviously," Lena laughs, probably doing that thing where she pretends she's annoyed by Kara's ribbing but smiles anyway. "Are you coming tonight? Please say you will. I need you to keep me sane."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Kara promises. "And I won't even wear jeans this time."

"Ugh, right," Lena groans. "I really don't get why Veronica is so insistent on a formal theme. I'd much rather wear pajamas and watch the countdown on TV with some ice cream, not entertain all of her snooty friends."

That sounds much nicer, actually; Kara doesn't even want to think about squeezing into heels later tonight. "Did you tell her that?" Kara asks. "I'm sure she'd understand."

"She likes parties, so I doubt it," Lena counters. "And she's really into...being social."

"Your worst nightmare, basically."

"Exactly," Lena says, and it sounds like she's smiling again. "I don't mind it, honestly. If she likes it, I'm more than happy to indulge her."

Kara pushes back the twinge of jealousy she feels at the obviously fond way Lena speaks about Veronica, surprise taking over briefly. For the most part, Lena doesn't talk about Veronica. At least, not so much to Kara, so it's always unexpected to hear her pop up unless Kara asks.

"That's...romantic," Kara tries, not quite sure how to reply.

On the other line, Lena clears her throat. "Not really," she brushes it off. "Um, you know what, I should get going. I still have a lot to prepare for tonight."

"Oh, I don't mean to keep you," Kara says, unsure if she's said something wrong. "See you tonight?"

"See you tonight," Lena promises, and she doesn't _sound_ off, but she hangs up before Kara can get in another word.

Kara sets her phone aside and looks at Mike, who is busy trying to figure out how to yank the toys off the baby swing mobile and into his mouth. "What do you think, Mike?" she says. "I didn't sound that jealous, did I?"

He whines as he loses grasp of one of the toys, and Kara sighs.

"Of course I did, didn't I," she mutters, crouching down by his swing and guiding the toy back into his chubby hand. "You're lucky you don't have to deal with all of this."

He blinks up at her, then grins, drooling over his chin in that way he does when he's happy. Kara kisses the top of his head, fondly brushing the soft hair off his forehead, and warmly says,

"Come on, let's see if there's anything cute you can wear for tonight."

It occurs to her that maybe she should've asked Lena if it was okay to bring Mike, but she figures it is; she's taken Mike over there plenty of times before. Never to any parties, sure, but what's a few hours? He'll likely sleep through it.

(Of course, nothing ever goes _quite_ to plan.)

As it turns out, Veronica's gone all out for this party. Last time it had been a quiet affair, much more formal than anything else, and this time the music's more upbeat, more people packed into any space they can; it's much more a proper party, and it feels like a bad thing. Kara hugs Mike's portable car seat to her chest and tries, with no avail, to look for Lena.

She's surrounded by unfamiliar faces, people dressed in gold and silver and black, people holding champagne glasses and laughing and dancing, rowdy but at the same time refined, if there is such a thing.

Kara feels instantly out of place; she casts a desperate glance towards the door and wishes she'd brought Alex and Maggie again. But they're having their own New Year's celebration, and the least she can do is give them that.

Mike starts to cry, barely audible over the music, and Kara's heart drops to her stomach. She can't do this. She doesn't even know why she thought she could do this. She doesn't belong here, among people wearing clothes that cost more than her rent, among people who eye her with thinly-veiled scrutiny.

Kara makes her way to the door, face uncomfortably warm, when she hears a shout:

"Kara! Kara, wait!"

Lena's tentative touch to her shoulder is what makes her stop, and when she whirls around to face the bewilderment in Lena's eyes she feels a lump form in her throat.

"Hey," Kara tries, offering a watery half-smile, but Lena doesn't let her get another word in.

"Were you leaving?" Lena says first, eyes darting over every inch of Kara's face before they drop to the car seat in her hands. Then with a pinched, defensive frown, she asks, "Did someone say something? About Mike?"

"No, no, it's—it's just a little loud in here, for him," Kara assures her.

"Oh." The protectiveness fades, leaving behind a slightly sheepish expression on Lena's face. "It is pretty overwhelming. I understand if you need to go, unless..."

"Unless—?"

Lena takes Kara's arm. "Come with me," she says, and Kara lets herself be led.

She's never been in Lena's bedroom before. Just like every other room in the house, it was pre-furnished; it lacks a personal touch, but at the same time, there are signs that make it looked lived in, like the untucked sheets and the papers scattered across the desk.

Kara sets Mike's car seat on the bed and hurriedly unstraps him. He quiets to a displeased, low whine when lifted out, and Lena looks noticeably relieved.

"I'm sorry," Kara says. "I shouldn't have brought him, I know."

Lena's gaze snaps back up to Kara, eyes widening just a fraction. "Kara, no, _I'm_ sorry," she says. "I didn't think to ask you if you were going to bring him."

"No one else brings kids to parties," Kara says, and she swallows, hard; in the low lighting of her room, Lena seems to almost glow. "It's not your fault."

"Well, you're not no one," Lena says firmly. "And I, for one, am glad you brought him."

"Because you get a chance to hide out in your room now?"

That makes Lena almost smile, lipsticked mouth twitching in an effort to keep it at bay. "Of course, why else?" she jokes. "I needed a reason to escape that party."

"We're honored to be your excuse," Kara promises, and this time Lena doesn't hide her smile, so unwaveringly bright that it makes her eyes crinkle.

"I'm really glad you're here," Lena says after a beat, and she rests her hand on Kara's arm, uncharacteristically hesitant. "I'm sorry you have to hide out here. If you want, I can watch Mike for a bit, if you'd like to mingle."

"No, we'll be fine here," Kara says, decidedly not mentioning the part where she'd rather die than do that. "You go! It's your party, you need to be out there."

"Not while you're not there," Lena says, perching on the edge of the bed and patting the spot next to her expectantly. "We can have our own party. Just the three of us."

The way she looks at Kara, stubbornly expectant, really does nothing to help the way Kara goes a little weak in the knees.

"Okay," Kara relents, and she takes a seat, sitting Mike up in her lap. "If you're sure."

"Oh, absolutely. At least three people have asked me about Lex, and I'm taking a page out of your book—no work talk tonight."

"You make me sound like a slacker," Kara accuses, and Lena leans against her, silky material of her dress brushing against Kara's bare arm.

"I would _never_ ," she says, feigning shock. "Hold on, we're missing a crucial part of New Year's." She pulls away, leaving Kara's skin tingling with goosebumps, to produce a bottle of cider from—somewhere. Under the bed, possibly.

"Isn't that meant for midnight?"

"You're getting your traditions mixed up, kissing's at midnight," Lena says offhandedly, and the word _kissing_ instantly makes Kara's heart skip a beat. Lena seems to realizes what she's just said, freezing briefly before hurriedly turning away to grab a bottle opener.

"Do you even have any glasses?" Kara asks. "Or, um, anything?"

"I can go and sneak some," Lena says, and it's adorable how excited she gets at the prospect of sneaking into her own kitchen.

"You'd be caught," Kara says. "You know, you _are_ the hostess."

Lena raises an eyebrow, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Then I guess the job falls to you," she says.

Who is Kara to argue with that logic? She goes.

It's much easier to blend in once she leaves Mike in Lena's care; no one gives her a second glance, and she squeezes past a group of women chatting in the doorway of the kitchen without any odd looks directed at her. She snags two plastic cups out of the cabinet and debates whether or not Lena would let her take some of the buffet with her when the sound of a throat clearing distracts her.

"You again," says Siobhan curiously, taking a slow sip from a glass in her hand. "Kara, right?"

"Yes, hi," Kara says, caught, rearranging her glasses even though they're not slipping; she feels as if it's necessary to give her free hand something to do.

"Is there a reason you're here," Siobhan gestures loosely around, with her glass, "raiding Lena Luthor's kitchen?"

"It's...I wanted something to drink," Kara says lamely.

"There's champagne at the tables," Siobhan says. "It seems premature to offer it now, in my opinion, but Veronica has never been a stickler for tradition."

"Yeah, she's," Kara pauses, and tries to think of something neutral to say. "She's interesting. Well, um, I might go try some champagne then! If it's out there." She doesn't know if she's supposed to let anyone know where Lena is, and figures a hasty getaway is the only way she'll ever get back to her and Mike.

"I can show you were it is," Siobhan offers, but Kara shakes her head.

"No, that's okay, I need to go find Lena," she says. "You know how she is, she...hates glasses."

Siobhan looks mildly confused. "Does she?"

"Yes, that's why I got these," Kara says, cradling the cups to her chest. "So I'm not really raiding the kitchen, see. Since Lena knows."

"Ah," Siobhan says, and there's no mistaking the curious quirk of her lips. "My mistake, then." Before Kara can nod and blurt out a halfhearted goodbye, Siobhan goes on: "Do you know her well?"

"Lena? Oh, yes, we're good friends," Kara says, briefly wondering how Lena and Mike are doing alone. "I used to live next door."

"But not anymore?"

"No," Kara blurts out. At Siobhan's questioning look, she says, "It's complicated. Sorry, I should," and she sheepishly gestures back to the bustle of the party outside, "I should get back to Lena."

"Right," Siobhan says, corners of her mouth twisting into an almost apologetic smile. "It's a shame, I...I would've liked some more engaging company."

Kara isn't quite sure what to make of that, but the way Siobhan stares at her, open and unassuming yet at the same time so carefully reserved, makes Kara drag her feet a little. "Next time," she says, an offer that she realizes she means, and Siobhan perks up.

"It's a small party," she says. "Maybe I'll see you later?"

"Maybe," Kara agrees, and Siobhan's smile grows.

"See you around, Kara," she says, and just like that, she turns and goes.

(Later, when Kara recounts it to Lena, Lena says, with an awkward press of her lips together, "Sounds like she was flirting."

"She wasn't," Kara retorts. "I'd know."

Lena laughs, the sound weaker than a genuine laugh would be, and says, "I wouldn't be so sure about that.")

.

.

.

It's Alex's idea to finally put together the crib.

Kara maintains that Mike's still young enough not to need it, but she has to admit he's growing quicker than she would like, so she lets Alex take over.

She and Mike lay down on their stomachs, only half-watching Alex work. It's a good thing Mike is too young to start crawling, because when screws start getting lost in the carpet, he eyes them with astonishment, probably itching to shove one of them in his mouth.

He substitutes them with a stuffed giraffe instead, mouthing at the cloth as if he hasn't just eaten while Kara unsuccessfully tries to interest him in the book she's trying to read to him.

"Look, Mike," she says, pointing to the bright blue fish on the page. "Look at the fishy! Isn't he so cute? One day we need to take you to an aquarium, so you can see the cute little—"

He smacks the book with his palm when it gets too close, nearly tearing the page off entirely before Kara quickly pulls it away.

"I don't think he cares," Alex offers unhelpfully.

Kara ignores her. " _Mike_ ," she huffs. "That was a present from Lena!"

He looks over at her, brown eyes wide and expectant when he hears Lena's name, and Kara can't help but crack a smile.

"You're telling her you ripped it," Kara tells him, an empty threat really, because he looks so cute she can't ever be annoyed. "Once you can talk."

"When _can_ he start talking? You know, so we can make sure not to cuss around him and stuff then."

"You shouldn't...cuss around him now," Kara says, giving Alex a questioning glance she quickly turns away from.

Alex also changes the subject, suspiciously enough. "So are you going to help me or what?" she asks. "This is for _your_ son."

"It also wasn't my idea," Kara says, but she helps Alex poke through the carpet for the spilled screws anyway.

They're about as hopeless as expected, but they _do_ make progress. Slight progress, but progress nonetheless. And while they work, they just talk, something they seem to do less even though they live together again.

"So," Alex says, concentrating very hard on situating the bars of the crib, "Lena tells me you've made a new friend."

"What?" At that moment, a splinter makes its way into Kara's thumb; she hisses in pain, cradling her finger in her other hand before she fully realizes what Alex's just said. "Wait, since when do you and Lena talk?"

"I stole her number from your phone," Alex says. "We text."

"She does need more friends," Kara says. "But you do know that's kind of weird, right?"

"Stop deflecting," Alex says, reaching for a hammer Kara's pretty sure they're not even supposed to use. "Is it true or not?"

"I don't even know who you're talking about," Kara says, picking at her skin with a pained grimace. She's so distracted she almost misses the disbelieving look Alex throws her.

"She asked if you'd been hanging out with some friend of Veronica's, or something," Alex says. "You know?"

"Veronica has friends?"

" _Kara_."

"I'm sorry, I really don't know who you're talking about!" Kara holds up her hands defensively. "I only spend time with you guys or Lena. Or my friends from the office, but no one Veronica would know."

"You sure about that? It sounds like Lena's friend jealous," Alex says. "Here, let me see if she sent me the name."

(While Alex starts to scroll through her text messages, Kara steals the hammer away and replaces it with a screwdriver for good measure.)

The crib is starting to lean a little, lopsided as it is, and Kara picks up the instruction manual again to see what they're doing wrong now. Mike starts to whine the instant she does, and she momentarily sets the packet aside to pick him up.

She stands up and tries to rock him to sleep, even if it's a little earlier than he's used to, but before she can even get a good rhythm going Alex seemingly reaches a breakthrough; she exclaims, rather loudly,

"Siobhan!"

"Alex!" Kara whisper-shouts. "Shhh!"

"Siobhan, that's her name," Alex says, again, though this time much lower. "Do you know her?"

"Yeah, I've met Siobhan a few times," Kara says, still slightly confused what she has to do with anything. "Don't you remember her? She's Winn's ex."

" _That_ Siobhan? Wow. Small world," Alex says, brow furrowing almost imperceptibly. "What does she want with you?"

"We've only talked a few times," Kara says. "We're not even friends."

"Lena's obviously jealous of her though," Alex points out, and Kara scoffs.

"I doubt it," she says. "She thought Siobhan was flirting with me."

Alex pauses halfway into raising another of the crib's legs, expression twisted between curiosity and disbelief. "Was she?"

"I don't think so."

"So...yes," Alex says, satisfied, and she goes right back to work at putting together the crib again.

Kara wonders if she's missed something, here. "Wait, but why would Lena be jealous of her then? Did she," she swallows nervously, an odd spark of hope tightening in her chest, "did she say anything?"

"It's more of a deduction," Alex says, and Kara's hope deflates just as quickly as it rose. "You have to see it."

"She has a girlfriend," Kara counters, and tries to leave it at that. "Here, I think you missed this weird...X-shaped thing."

"I'm pretty sure that's a packing peanut," Alex says, and doesn't let Kara drop the subject so quickly. "So aren't Siobhan and Lena friends?"

"I don't think so?" Kara scrunches her nose pensively, then shrugs. "You should ask her, if you two talk so much."

"Now _you_ sound jealous," Alex says, but she's smirking like she's just figured out a complicated problem that has flown over Kara's head. "How's Veronica, by the way? Do you two talk?"

"Shut _up_ ," Kara says, and she would throw something in Alex's direction if she weren't holding Mike. He seems to have fallen asleep, at least; it looks like something good has come out of Alex's crib-building after all. "I'm going to put Mike in your bed."

"Just until we get this up, right?"

"Sure, until then," Kara says, not meaning one word. Before she can actually leave, Alex speaks once more:

"You know I'm team Kara no matter what, right?" she says. "No matter who you're dating."

"I know," Kara says, but Alex isn't done yet.

"But for the record...you're better than Veronica."

"Alex, you don't even know Veronica."

"I know she's not you," Alex says, like that's reason enough, and she even rises to her feet to give Kara a playful nudge at her shoulder.

Kara gives her an exasperated look. "You're terrible," she says, but all Alex does is shrug and make her way into the kitchen.

"Want some popcorn? You can tell me all about this _Siobhan_."

"I don't even...fine, yes, make some popcorn."

.

.

.

There's not really a need for anyone to help Winn formally move into James's apartment, but for old time's sake, everyone shows up anyway.

Any belongings of Winn's that were brought over gets shoved into the living room, the only empty space left the couch; Maggie claims it immediately, bouncing Mike on the edge of it as he shrieks in laughter. Winn and Alex _do_ try to sort through some stuff as best they can, but mostly they get weirdly sentimental like they usually don't, leaning shoulder-to-shoulder on the carpet in mutual excitement.

Kara helps James plate cheap finger foods like it's a party, and Lena pours glasses of expensive champagne she swears was the cheapest option she could find.

"No way this costs less than a thousand dollars," James swears when he sneaks a sip. "We agreed on lowkey."

"Lowkey, not low _quality_ ," Lena says, topping off his glass. She's always a bit shyer around everyone else than she is with Kara, but she's definitely warmed up enough to tease. "And it's not like it broke the bank."

James raises his eyebrows in Kara's direction, as if to exasperatedly say _rich people_ , and Kara giggles.

"Forgive her, she's not used to being in the rent controlled side of town," Kara says, offering Lena a buffalo chicken wing in apology (that Lena only wrinkles her nose at in disgust).

"I live in an apartment, of course I pay rent," Lena mutters, stealing a carrot stick off the tray instead.

"That's oddly defensive," James remarks, and Lena frowns at him too.

"What James means," Kara interjects, "is that he appreciates your gift very much, Lena."

James agrees, not so much in words; he gives Lena a warm smile to show he's teasing, and to Kara, a squeeze on the shoulder before he takes his tray outside to the others.

Lena relaxes ever so slightly, posture loosening in a way it only ever does around Kara, and Kara wipes her hands off on her jeans to cross the room and give Lena a one-armed hug. She can't resist smiling as she presses her cheek against Lena's, and she feels the vibration of Lena's laugh before she hears it.

"What's this for?" Lena murmurs, though she hugs back the brief instance she can before Kara lets go.

"Just because," Kara says, lingering by Lena's side. "And I'm glad you're here. It seems like we never get a chance to hang out anymore."

"We hang out all the time," Lena retorts. "You're literally the only person I see outside of work."

 _Besides Veronica_ , Kara thinks, and she really has to stop bringing Veronica up. Every time she manages to make her _self_ jealous, because—again—Lena never does so.

This time, she refrains. "Then I need to see you more," she teases, instead. "Because that's kind of sad."

"That would probably be sadder, actually," Lena deadpans, and feigns a disapproving glare. "It's all your fault I'm not at the office tonight."

"Well, that's good enough to celebrate," Kara says, cheerfully, and snags two of the champagne glasses so she can hand one to Lena. "See? I'm a good influence after all."

"Good is a relative term, Kara," Lena counters, but she takes a sip from the glass anyway.

A crash from the living room is what drags them back out to rejoin everyone else; otherwise, Kara would be perfectly content spending the rest of the night with Lena alone. But concern (and curiosity) over whatever Winn's done this time wins out.

The answer: he's somehow managed to balance on the very top of the couch.

The real answer: he has also fallen _off_ the couch.

"I see you're really breaking in the place," Kara says, and Winn's response is a weak groan.

She crouches beside him where he remains sprawled out on the carpet, everyone else already returning to whatever they'd been doing beforehand (except James, who worriedly drops down beside him too).

"Are you okay?" he fusses, and Winn gives him a shaky thumbs-up.

"Good news," Winn says with a visible wince, propping himself up on his elbows, "the couch is very sturdy."

"You literally fell off it, though."

"Thank you, Kara, you're so perceptive," Winn says, and he waves James away when he tries to help him sit up. "James, light of my life—can you get me some ice?"

James sighs in that _you're-going-to-be-the-death-of-me_ way and goes, but not without a pointed, "Don't let him do that again."

Kara scoots so she's sitting by Winn now, the two of them quietly observing the others move about. Lena has taken a seat by Maggie, smiling that reserved, cautious smile she gets when Mike grins at her; Alex takes the other seat by Maggie's side, smiling much more easily.

"So," Kara says, "what was the purpose of the couch stunt?"

"I was trying to hang something up," Winn grumbles.

"...was it your lightsaber?"

"No," Winn says, which means yes.

"At this rate you're going to break your hip before your wedding," Kara says, and she pats Winn's head in a mock-sympathetic matter for good measure. "Or at the very least break something in this apartment."

"Which is now my apartment, too," Winn says, breaking into a dreamy smile, and Kara can't help but mirror it.

She loves seeing him so happy, and can't stop herself from voicing it. " _And_ you're engaged now," she says. "I'm so happy for you, Winn."

"Who would've thought, huh?" Winn says softly.

"Yeah," Kara says, taking Winn's hand and giving him a smile just as soft. "Who would've thought."

.

.

.

One obvious downside of moving back in with her sister: Maggie.

Kara's walked in on them too many times to count, never in any compromising position or anything (okay, there was _once_ , but she tries not to think about it, ever). Honestly, she always wanders in on their most tender moments, and ends up feeling like she's somehow interrupted each time. She's sort of the perpetual third wheel, now that she thinks about it.

It's inconvenient, she has to admit; there are only so many times she can take Mike for a walk around the block while she waits for Maggie to leave, or for their moment to end. But at the same time it makes her glad, to see Alex so beautifully vulnerable, to see hints of a type of smile she's never seen on Alex's face before.

So when she and Mike get back from the grocery store to find Alex and Maggie embracing each other in the kitchen, obviously lost in their own world, Kara does what she usually does: she retreats as quietly as possible, preparing to hide away in Alex's room.

"Kara?" says Alex suddenly, stopping Kara mid-turn. Her voice sounds bashful, which it usually never is, and when Kara gives her a curious once-over she sees that Alex almost looks like she's... _blushing_.

"Hey," Kara says, giving them both an awkward nod as she sets the groceries down onto the center island. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

There's something odd about them today, and she eyes them both especially hard, trying to figure out why Alex keeps flushing pink and why Maggie looks almost _pleased_.

"It's fine, we were just—"

Any explanation Alex is about to give is stopped when it clicks, finally, and Kara gasps and says, "Wait, don't tell me—did you finally ask Maggie to move in?!"

Alex's mouth opens like she's about to deny it, then quickly closes as an almost pained embarrassment takes over her face. Maggie, on the other hand, lights up.

"Actually, I asked her to move in with me," Maggie replies, shooting Alex an amused glance. "I didn't know you were planning on asking too, Danvers."

"That's—I was going to," Alex says. "Soon!"

"Yeah, okay," Maggie says, and it's clear she doesn't believe it, but she looks charmed nonetheless, unable to quit grinning from ear-to-ear.

"This is amazing, oh my gosh!" Kara says, and Mike coos in what must be obvious agreement. She gives them each an one-armed hug, and Mike offers his own form of interest: yanking at any hair within grasp, which unfortunately ends in Kara exclaiming, "Mike! No! Let go of Maggie's hair!"

Alex has a giddy, almost disbelieving air around her; even though she's trying to play it cool Kara can tell she's thrumming with nervous, excited energy, and a part of her wants nothing more than to hug Alex senseless and talk for hours about this.

But again: third wheel.

"We need to celebrate, okay," Kara tells them both. "But maybe later. Lena's expecting me today." It's not true, of course, but they don't know that.

She leaves them behind and texts Lena on the cab ride over: _hey, are you busy?_

 _No_ , comes the quick reply. _I'm at home._

 _can i come over?_

 _always_ , Lena replies, and she even throws in a red heart emoji.

Kara is still beaming at the screen when she arrives, and she's so enlivened by the thought of Maggie and Alex taking the next step in their relationship (and obviously, at the thought of seeing Lena) that she forgets about being the third wheel for a while.

Plus, it's always easy to forget about anything when Lena is there, dressed in an oversized sweater and shorts, pulling her hair up into a makeshift bun and assuring Kara over the hair band in her mouth that she's totally okay with the intrusion.

"You're just in time to watch Cake Wars," Lena says, giving Kara a quick hug as she lets her in. "It's a guilty pleasure night."

"Are you eating cake while watching Cake Wars?" Kara says, eyeing the expanse of cake slices lining the living room table. "And you didn't invite me?"

"So you can see me at my lowest point? Of course not," Lena says, curling up against the leg of the couch so she's level with the low table. "But since you're here, you need to help me eat all of this."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Kara says, immediately taking a seat by Lena. Mike reaches forward to grasp at a cake slice the instant she does, and Kara catches his hand; he's become very fond of grasping things now.

Lena turns up the volume on the TV and digs into a slice of what looks like chocolate raspberry cake, and Kara follows suit, taking a swirl of frosting off the top of a vanilla-flavored slice and letting Mike suck at her finger. She's been giving him a few soft solid foods, tentatively, nothing like actual meals or anything, but tastes of foods here and there. Admittedly, cake is sure to be something Dr. Vasquez would frown at, but even Mike needs a cheat day.

"Where'd you even get so much cake?" Kara asks after a moment.

"Impulsive shopping trip," Lena admits. "Don't laugh."

"You rich people," Kara mocks. "I'm surprised you didn't buy a bakery while you were at it." A suspicious beat of silence follows, and Kara frowns. "Lena. Tell me you didn't buy a bakery."

"I...it's an investment. I have to think of the company, Kara."

"Well in that case," Kara quips, "I can't wait to see Luthor Corp branded cupcakes in stores. I'm sure Lex is thrilled at the idea."

"I can't tell you _anything_ ," Lena sighs, obviously not miffed one bit; she buries a quiet laugh into her arm, and steals a bite of the cake on Kara's plate. "Hey, is Mike sitting up by himself?"

"Hmm?" Kara, mid-bite, looks down at the one arm loosely draped around Mike's stomach. The thought almost makes her choke, and she tests it out, letting go of Mike's torso to see that Lena is right; he's sitting up without any support. "Oh my God, he is! He is!"

"When did he start doing that?"

"Um, right now?!"

Lena's mouth falls open. "Really? Oh, wait, let me—" she fishes her phone out of her pocket and snaps a picture, the flash making Mike jerk his head towards her in confusion. He almost face-plants into the table because of it, and Lena, horrified, gasps, "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!"

Kara manages to catch him, and she shakes her head, biting her lip to keep from laugh-crying. "It's okay, it's okay," she says. "I can't believe it, he's...he's just so _big_." When she looks at Lena again she sees her watching Mike fondly, just as much in awe as Kara is, and her heart swells.

"He is," Lena agrees, and she hesitates for a second before she leans over to plant a kiss at the top of Mike's head. "It's kind of scary how fast he's growing."

"Soon he's going to be crawling and walking and…" Kara stops, getting misty-eyed at the thought. "You're so big, Mike," she whispers into his hair, and he takes advantage of her distraction to smack her slice of cake.

Kara can't find it in herself to reprimand him for it, even though he smears cake over Lena's hand when he grasps at her fingers, immediately trying to drag them into his mouth instead of the cake he's just squished.

"Mike, I'm not food," Lena says, gently untangling her fingers. "You little troublemaker."

"Sorry," Kara says on his behalf, standing up to clean off his hands. "Agh, he got cake all over your carpet!"

"It's fine, it's just carpet," Lena says. "Better that than you."

(Mike, as if on cue, grabs a handful of Kara's hair with his cake-covered hand.)

Kara leads him into the bathroom with a groan. "Mike," she says as she runs his hand under warm water, "that was rude."

He kicks his legs and shrieks, excitedly, and Kara can't be mad at that either.

"You're going to be a little menace," Kara tells him, and she smooths over his cheek with her hand to wipe the frosting at the edge of his mouth. She wonders what Alex would say if she saw him now; she'd probably laugh, and Maggie would think it was adorable. They're going to be the worst influences, she thinks, and she sighs to herself when she thinks about how much she and Mike are intruding on their lives.

A knock sounds on the bathroom door, and Lena carefully pushes her way inside. "Hey," she says. "How's the damage?"

"I'll live," Kara assures her. "At least it's not throw up."

"Don't jinx that one too," Lena jokes, leaning against the doorframe. Because she's Lena, she immediately notices that Kara's mood has shifted, however slight. "Is everything okay? You look a little...lost."

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Kara says quickly. "I was just thinking about Maggie and Alex. They're moving in together! Isn't that great?"

"It sounds great," Lena agrees, but her gaze is searching when she says, next, "You don't seem too thrilled about it though."

"I am! I am," Kara says. "I just don't know where that leaves me, that's all. Which is pretty selfish, because obviously this isn't about _me_." When Lena doesn't reply right away, she feels the need to clarify, "I'm thrilled for Alex, don't get me wrong, it's just that since I moved back in with her I'm sort of always—"

"Kara," Lena cuts her off. "I need to ask you something, if that's okay."

"Sure it is," Kara says, thrown for a loop, and if she could get whiplash from words alone she'd certainly get it from what Lena says next:

"You should move in with me."

Lena is firm when she says it, but there is an obvious hesitance to her voice as it comes out, a delayed waver in the way her stance stiffens.

And Kara stares, and stares, and—"That's not a question."

Lena's lips press into a thin, worried line. "It's up to you," she's quick to add. "I'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want to. I know you and Adam might not be in a good place, and that you just moved into Alex's apartment and it might be a waste of time, but if you need somewhere else to go I just—I'd like to help. If you'll let me."

"I," Kara starts, then pauses, forcing herself to form a coherent thought before she blurts out something random. Moving in with Lena would be a terrible idea, she's sure. She'd be confronted with her crush every day. She'd have to move in next door to Adam. She'd have to pay a ridiculous amount of money just to stay.

But it's also _Lena_ , and her racing heart already knows the answer.

Lena clears her throat. "Really," she says, "it's up to you, you can talk to Alex first and see—"

"You won't buy me a house if I say no, will you?" Kara interrupts, and Lena's face softens.

"Well," she says diffidently, "if that's what it takes…"

Kara swallows. "No need," she says, heart thumping so hard it's making her dizzy, and she lets her hope take over. "I'm in."


	11. no guarantee that this will be easy

**im showing up 3 years later with an update ayy yeah it's so bad i'm so bad goodbye**

 **i'm not sure if i replied to comments last chapter? i'll make sure to do that this time around i'm so sorry guys, i really really appreciate your reviews :')**

* * *

The first order of business, now that Kara has moved in: they're getting a fish.

Kara knows she has to do all the convincing. Lena's likely forgotten about it, but Kara is determined not to let something like this slip. If Lena wants a pet, she's getting a pet. Mike is in on the plan as much as he can be, which means he's just there to look cute when Kara next brings it up.

"One day we'll get her to get a puppy," Kara tells him conspiringly as they lay side-by-side on the carpet. He's just showered and smells like baby lotion, and she rests her nose against his shoulder as he wiggles beside her. "Pinky swear."

He grunts softly in frustration as he shifts away from her, not because he wants to get away but because he's valiantly attempting to roll over onto his back. He has begun to do so with some difficulty—successful sometimes, and unsuccessful most of the time—and Kara takes the hint to edge away and give him some room to practice.

The sound of a key in the front door distracts Kara from watching him briefly; it means Lena's home, and she props open the door with that usual blank, glazed look on her face she always dons when she has a hard day at the office.

When she sees Kara and Mike in the living room, however, it's as if a switch is flipped. "Hey," she says, brightening. "What are you two up to?"

"Not much," Kara says, gesturing vaguely to the TV that's still playing lowly in the background. "But we have been kind of stealing your Netflix account."

"Feel free to, I don't use it much." Lena takes off her heels with an audible groan, stretching her arms up over her head as she pads into the kitchen. "Have you had dinner?"

"I made mac and cheese. There's some left in the microwave I think."

Lena's disembodied voice drifts out, slightly impressed. "Did you use real cheese? This doesn't look like it came from a box."

"I only used the noodles from the box. See, I'm learning how to cook!" Kara leans back in to Mike to whisper, "Don't tell her that was our second batch, okay?"

Lena comes out with a bowl of cold food, not bothering to change out of her work clothes as she sinks against the couch. She turns up the volume of the TV slightly, staring at it without really watching in that Lena-like way of hers that means there's definitely something on her mind.

"Long day?" Kara guesses, rolling over on her back so she can see Lena better. It also angles her face towards Mike, who is very intently grasping at the carpet in his attempt to roll onto his own back.

"Like you wouldn't _believe_ ," Lena groans. "Lex left me covering two of his most important mergers without so much as a warning. Jess had to brief me in ten minutes before leaving me to the wolves."

"Did it at least go well?"

"I think so. I don't know." Lena intently pushes her food around her bowl for a minute, then sets it aside entirely. "Let's forget about it, I don't want to think about work. Please cheer me up."

Mike shrieks, drawing both Kara and Lena's attention as he finally manages to get on his back. Startled, he looks over at Kara, then promptly tries to roll back onto his stomach.

Kara laughs, and gets up off the floor so she can pick him up. "I know just what you need," she says. "Hugs all around. Come on, bring it in." She holds Mike out towards Lena—who hesitates, as she usually does—but he lights up at the prospect and reaches out, so Lena can't exactly deny carrying him.

Kara rests her head on Lena's shoulder and scrunches up her nose at him to make him giggle, trying not to bask in the comfortable feeling of Lena relaxing against her. The way Lena slowly starts to smile, worry ebbing away, makes Kara's stomach flip-flop in the best way possible.

"This is exactly what I needed," Lena says softly, resting her cheek against the top of Kara's head. "Thank you." A beat. "But I won't lie, I think wine might also do the trick."

Kara feigns a frown, even if Lena can't see it. "You ruined the moment."

"Sorry," Lena says, without an ounce of an apology in her voice. "Here Mike, go back with your mommy. You can't come where I'm going."

The exaggeration in her excuse is enough to make Kara laugh. "You're doing it again," she says.

"What? What am I doing?" Lena asks, too preoccupied with sitting Mike up on Kara's lap to think about the question.

"You're being afraid of holding Mike again," Kara says.

"That's...no, I'm _not_."

"And you're even talking to Mike in your baby voice. This is your way of softening the blow, isn't it? I swear I read a psychology paper about this phenomenon somewhere."

Lena narrows her eyes. "I don't have a baby voice," she says.

"You do. It's high-pitched and cutesy just like everyone else's," Kara says, keeping the part that Lena's is her favorite to herself. "It's _okay_ if you don't like carrying him. I'm sorry if I'm pushy about it."

"It's not that I don't like it. He's just...he's still very small," Lena says. "What if I drop him?"

"Winn has, if that's any consolation," Kara offers as a means to reassure her, but judging by Lena's ensuing look of horror, it doesn't work. "It was not as traumatizing as it sounds. At least not for Mike. I'm still recovering, but…"

Lena looks like she has several things to say but does not say anything at all, settling for shaking her head instead. "I can't deal with this," she says. "I'm going to get you a glass too."

"Drinking won't make my deeply set issues go away!"

"Not with that attitude!"

When Lena reemerges from the kitchen, she's holding a half-empty bottle of wine and only one glass. The glass she places in Kara's hand, and once she's poured her a generous amount she takes a swig straight from the bottle.

Kara wisely does not comment. "So maybe this isn't the best time to ask," she says, hesitantly, "but I have to."

"That sounds very ominous," says Lena around a mouthful of cheap wine. "Shoot."

"It's a big step and I understand if it's too soon," Kara says. "Lena Luthor, do you want to buy a fish with me?"

For a moment Lena just stares at her. Then, "You jerk, I was preparing for the _worst_ news."

"Is that a yes or a no? Mike would love it. C'mon, you can't say no to this face!" Kara holds Mike up so he's standing upright on her legs, and he makes a sloppy grab for the wine bottle. "Hey! Mike, no, that's not allowed."

Lena hugs the bottle to her chest and just laughs. "You're ridiculous," she decides. "Okay. Let's get a fish. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Yes! High-five, Mike," Kara says, tapping his outstretched hand with her palm. All he does is try to tug her hand into his mouth, but she gets the spirit.

And Lena, for her part, watches this unfold with the softest fond smile on her lips. Kara's quickly counting that as one of her all-time favorite sights.

.

.

.

"I don't think I can do this," Kara confesses.

Her palms are sweaty, and she keeps her hands clasped tightly together like hiding the fact might make it disappear. The button-up she had picked this morning had made her feel professional at the time, but now it feels like it's slowly choking her; she has to tug at her collar to offer some brief relief.

Maggie sends her a dirty look in response. "Too late, Danvers," she says, angling the rearview mirror like a disgruntled PTA mom might. "You already dragged me into this."

"We appreciate it very much," Lena cuts in. She's sitting on the opposite side of the backseat, but it doesn't stop her from setting a steadying hand on Kara's leg, thumb swiping comfortingly over her knee. "We can change the story if you'd like, Kara. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"It's not that," Kara says quickly. She hears Maggie cough something into her hair that sounds like iI'll bet/i and tries to unsuccessfully keep her cheeks from going warm. "I mean, what if I can't pull it off?"

"Have your second thoughts some other time, when I'm not mixed up in this," Maggie interjects before Lena can reply. "I'm still pretty sure this isn't one hundred percent legal."

"I'm really sorry to drag you away from the field," Lena says. "But I couldn't possibly trust any other officer."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever, you owe me," Maggie mutters. "I'm a detective, not a chauffeur. If I'd known all my captain needed was a bat of pretty eyes and a big check I would've used you ages ago."

" _Maggie_."

"What, Kara? Lena's not only iyour/i resident rich friend now. You have to share," Maggie says, grinning at the way Kara sputters; Lena laughs, of course. "Hey, is this the place?"

The police car comes to a slow stop at their destination, and at the first glimpse of the words _Astra and Zorel Law_ Kara wonders if it's possible to asphyxiate from nerves alone. It's not so much the interview she's worried for as it is the way Lena looks at her; it's careful, so careful, but also hopeful enough that Kara regrets this.

"Ready?" Lena asks, and Kara steels herself and nods.

(She resolves to remind herself this is just a job. She's a professional, right? She can handle this.)

Lena takes Kara's arm once they exit the car. Maggie follows closely behind them, but remains a good distance far enough that one might think she wasn't part of their party. Kara has to hand it to Lena; she's thought of everything, and when they get to the front desk and Kara confidently assures the receptionist that they have an appointment, Lena makes sure to add,

"I trust Officer Sawyer can accompany us? We were told a police escort wouldn't be an issue."

They are ushered into a room to wait for Alura Zorel almost immediately after that. Maggie stands outside the door—ever the picture of professionalism—and once they're alone Lena lets go of Kara's arm, but remains close enough that their elbows bump as they take a seat.

"I feel like a secret agent," Lena whispers into Kara's ear. "This is fun."

Kara tries not to smile. She fails. "You're Lena Luthor," she says. "I hate to break it to you, but you get that reaction pretty much everywhere."

"Don't spoil my fun," Lena says, knocking her shoulder against Kara's mock-admonishingly. "It's not every day I get to be the eye candy in a hypothetical business situation."

"You're more like a partner in crime, actually."

Lena scoffs. "Not in their eyes," she says. "Besides, it's sort of thrilling to play a different role for once. Don't you think?"

Before Kara can answer, the door opens and effectively makes her shut her mouth. "Sorry to keep you waiting," says an unfamiliar voice, and someone who looks a lot like Alura Zorel takes a seat at her desk. "I'm afraid Mrs. Zorel couldn't make it. My sister has always taken on more cases than she could handle." Her eyes fall on Kara, and she frowns almost inconceivably before focusing on a sheet of paper instead. "You can call me Astra."

"It's nice to meet you," Kara says, taking Astra's hand in hers for a firm shake. "I'm Kara. This is Lena."

"Lena Luthor. I'm a big fan of your work," Astra tells Lena politely, but her eyes fall back on Kara in an instant. "Have we met?"

Kara doesn't think so, and says as much. "No," she says. "I'm certainly not a household name like Lena is. Which is what we're here for, of course."

"Ah, yes." Astra looks back down at the form before her. "You two are…"

"We're private people," Kara says. "Or at least, we try to be." She takes Lena's hand in a surge of confidence, and feels Lena intertwine their fingers. "We've decided not to be public about our relationship, but we've been photographed so often that there are many speculations. We'd like to see what legal action we can take to make sure some of our more...private moments are kept under wraps."

For as much as Kara does not understand legal jargon, Astra is a great help. She clearly is very dedicated to their potential case, though she does warn that she can't promise much until they draw out their side more clearly.

She seems like a decent person, which only makes Kara wonder why it is that she and her sister have decided to wage war on Ms. Grant. They of all people must recognize how it would like, to represent someone suing Cat; they would be lumped in with whoever the person is, and depending on who it is, would be immediately drawn onto one side.

Even pretending that Lena's her secret girlfriend isn't enough to make Kara stop thinking about it. For once she can say that it's not distracting to hold Lena's hand and see Lena smile at her—smile at her like she's in love with her—because her mind is elsewhere.

When they leave they both shake Astra's hand, and with Maggie in tow, they head to Luthor Corp; they don't have to keep appearances anymore, but Lena sits in the backseat with Kara anyway.

"What do you think?" Lena asks carefully, teeth caught on her bottom lip like she isn't sure how to react.

"I think," Kara says carefully, "I think...I'm not sure how I'm going to explain to Ms. Grant that I think their business seems clean."

"You make it sound like we're coming off a drug bust," Maggie says, but one look from Lena shuts her up.

"You think so?" Lena says.

Kara shrugs. "They seemed willing to work with us," she says. "But it didn't really seem like she was after your money. And you iare/i lawyer bait, so…"

"So what's the plan, then?" Lena asks. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to tell Ms. Grant what I think," Kara says. "I need to trust my instincts, right?"

The way Lena looks at her—fondly, with just a touch of amusement—it brings all those tumultuous feelings back. "You would make a great reporter," Lena says decidedly. "You have a very do-good, truth-trumps-all kind of attitude."

"In a good way?"

"In a great way."

There's a suspended moment in time where Kara looks at Lena and tries to form words but can't. So she places her hand over Lena's instead, and smiles, and hope it conveys her message.

Until, of course: "Hey, can you two get a room? I'm not being paid enough for this."

" _Maggie_!"

.

.

.

They hold the next game night at Lena's.

She invites Jack and Veronica, and while she has every right to—because it's _her_ apartment, after all—Kara's a little disappointed. It means she'll pair up with Veronica, and as a result she can't be Kara's partner like she usually is. But it's fine, Kara reasons with herself. Jack's nice enough. And she's trying very hard _not_ to be jealous of Veronica anymore.

It doesn't really work, since she lives with Lena now; Kara is confronted with the reality of Veronica's presence everywhere. If Lena isn't home, she's out with Veronica; if she stays up late on the phone, she's talking to Veronica; if she ducks out early in the morning, it's to see Veronica before work.

Part of Kara thinks it's sweet, if she's being perfectly honest. But a larger part of her is so jealous she doesn't know how she's going to handle it, and she hates that she can't be unequivocally happy for her best friend.

And it doesn't help that Lena's the most thoughtful person ever. Kara can hear her now, on the phone with Veronica: "No, that's not the kind Kara likes—I said cheese, yes. Hold—hold on a second. _Winn_ , what are you feeding Mike?"

"Mashed potatoes! They're very soft, don't worry."

Kara gives James's shoulder an absentminded pat as she takes that as her cue to go; she enters the kitchen just in time to catch Winn give Mike another taste off his plate.

"He just ate, Winn," Kara chides, and she plucks Mike up out of Winn's lap when he raises his arms for her. "Come here little boy. Stop charming people out of their food."

Mike welcomes the attention, giddily mumbling gibberish as Kara takes him back into the living room. Kara pauses by the counter so she can feed their goldfish, the not-very-rightly named Nemo. (Carter picked it out.)

"Alright, everyone, I have the games," Winn announces, emerging from the kitchen with a Monopoly board over his head.

Alex immediately shuts him down. "No."

"What?"

"No, we're not playing Monopoly. Put it back," she demands. "I'm not trying to stay here all night."

"Plus, Maggie cheats," Kara's sure to add, which Alex gravely nods in agreement with.

Maggie pauses the movie on TV just to crane her neck backwards, betrayed. "I don't cheat," she says. "It's all strategy."

"Your strategy is stealing from the bank, Sawyer. It's cheating," Alex says.

"You're accusing a police officer of _stealing_? That's a new low, Danvers."

Kara tunes out their bickering and claims her previous spot on the couch, right against James's side. Mike squirms to be set down, so she allows him to play in his baby gym instead of bringing him with her.

He's close enough that she can watch him anyway, and still be able to rest her chin on James's shoulder so she can peek at his phone. "What are you up to?" she asks. "Are you ordering pizza?"

"No, so don't get any ideas. Lena's already prepared enough food for an army."

"Yeah, but it's," and here Kara drops her voice for dramatic effect, " _healthy_ food."

James snorts. "Like you wouldn't eat all the kale in the world for her," he ribs good-naturedly, which is a very low blow. "I'm sure you'll survive."

"Now that's just uncalled for."

"Okay, okay, I'll drop it." James brings up a page on his phone in a wordless subject change, holding it higher so Kara can see it. "What do you think about a themed photoshoot for Mike? Sailor outfits are all the rage."

"James...that's so ugly. He can't wear that."

"He's wearing a onesie decorated with tacos right now, Kara. I think this would be a step up."

"Are you questioning my taste in baby clothing?" Kara demands, feigning indignation on top of it. "Tacos are cute!"

James makes a noncommittal noise that Kara narrows her eyes at. Before she can annoy him about it further, there's a knock at the door. Lena beats everyone to it, distractedly mumbling something into the phone balanced between her cheek and her shoulder.

It's Veronica. She greets Lena with a chaste kiss as Lena helps lighten the load of grocery bags she's holding, but otherwise, doesn't look too pleased to be here. Kara has to look away, intently refocusing on James's blank screen, and James gives her a sympathetic pat to the head.

"It must suck," he says, "to have to see Veronica more."

Kara bites the inside of her cheek and mumbles, "Feelings are _stupid_ ," against his shirt. She gets another pat on the head, and she has to drop it before she starts getting jealous again. "Distract me. Tell me about your wedding plans."

James is only too happy to oblige. "Well," he says, "we were thinking a summer wedding…"

Unsurprisingly, the evening becomes more bearable once Kara makes herself stop thinking about Veronica and Lena. Winn squeezes between them on the couch a while later and declares he will not, under any circumstances, have any other ring bearer beside Mike.

"He might not be walking by then, Winn," Kara says. "And he'd probably try to eat the rings."

"Huh. Didn't think of that," Winn says, frowning. "What if we make him the flower boy?"

"He would try to eat the flower petals."

"Okay, so we push the wedding—"

"I feel like that should be a decision you make with me first," James points out, large smile betraying any seriousness in his voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry, where are _you_ involved in all this?" Winn feigns confusion, but in a second he's grinning right back and tugging at the end of James's tie to kiss him.

Kara lets them have their moment. She takes a seat on the floor beside Mike, who has given up playing and is instead sucking on his hand and staring up at the toys hanging over his head.

"Hey," Kara whispers, shaking one of them to catch his attention as she pulls his fist out of his mouth. "No trying to eat your own hand, you."

He smiles, and makes a small sound that sounds like AH. Kara lifts him up into her arms and kisses his cheek because of it; he's not a very talkative baby, but he has his moments. And it's the _cutest_ every single time.

"Kara? Kara, we need you," Winn calls, dragging her out of the moment. "Lena doesn't know how to work her own blender."

"It's Kara's blender, it's not mine," comes Lena's faint argument. "I don't own a blender."

"How do you not own a _blender_?"

Kara carries Mike with her into the kitchen, where Winn and Lena seem to be arguing over how an existence without a blender is absolutely plausible (Lena's argument) or how such an existence is pointless (Winn's argument). Mike has no idea what they're talking about, but he yells excitedly in tandem; he is mostly yelling at Lena, probably because he is over the moon to see her.

Lena is more than happy to take Mike out of Kara's arms and leave them to the issue of the blender. Winn mumbles something about "a renounced genius falling at the hands of a blender" and Kara subtly elbows him for it—even as he grasps into his side, betrayed—because it makes Lena laugh on her way out.

"Sooo," Winn says afterwards, sliding up beside Kara to mock-whisper. "I have an idea. We can sous out whether or not Lena's really into Veronica."

"Winn, no."

"Hear me out—truth or dare. High school style."

" _No_ , Winn," Kara stresses. "If they're dating it's pretty obvious she has to like Veronica."

"But how much is the question," Winn argues as they dump ingredients for milkshakes into the blender jar. "I'll bet she just likes the idea of Veronica. You know, that's how it goes in all the romance novels! Nostalgia and all that."

"This isn't a romance novel, this is real life," Kara says. "Hey. Where'd you get marshmallows? Will those even blend?"

The marshmallows do _not_ blend, and as a result, they eat ice cream straight out of the tub as they play pictionary. Even if it's vegan ice cream, Lena's stocked about ten different flavors just to be prepared for game night; it helps that everyone gets their own tub, even if Kara's the only one really dedicated to making a proper dent in it.

Mike dozes off against her chest halfway through, having had too much excitement for the day. He's been very finicky around anyone beside Kara—or Lena—as of late. It makes sense, if they're the only two people he sees consistently. It makes Kara start to think about Adam, and how he would feel if he were here too. Maybe he wouldn't even notice. Lately he seems like he's off in his own world.

"Kara, what do you think?"

Kara starts. "What?"

"Of Veronica's drawing," Lena says. She has a question in her eyes she doesn't voice, and she rests her hand on Mike's back soothingly even if he's not awake to notice. "Jack thinks it's a bear. I'm pretty sure it's a car."

"Sure, a car sounds right," Kara says. Privately she thinks it looks more like a walrus, but she doesn't say so.

"Final answer," Lena says. "It's a car."

Veronica sends her an absolutely unimpressed look. "It's a dog," she says, which makes Winn and James shout and hi-five.

"My turn," Alex groans, taking a healthy swig of her beer before she actually stands.

"Don't blow our lead, babe!" Maggie shouts. To James and Winn she says, "We're screwed," which of course makes Alex flip her off.

"We're just getting warmed up!" Jack shouts, and while everyone else engages in playful trash talk Kara excuses herself to set Mike to bed.

She doesn't realize Lena has followed her until she feels her hand gently touch her elbow. "Hey," Lena says. "You okay?"

"Yes...do I not seem like it, or something?"

"Not exactly," Lena says, but she's pursing her lips apologetically like she knows she's lying. "But kind of? I'm sorry if this isn't what you had in mind. I know I haven't been to many of your game nights, so…"

"It's perfect, hey," Kara says. "Don't worry about it." She kisses Mike's head as she sets him down, tucking his blanket snugly around his body. "It's going great."

"We've been here before," Lena says, leaning against the wall with a quiet laugh. "Is it weird? All we're really doing is having our friends meet but I haven't felt this nervous since I introduced my mother to a girl for the first time."

"That sounds like a fun story," Kara offers, promptly mirroring Lena's stance.

"It was a nightmare. I threw up halfway through brunch."

"At least this time we can be sure no one will puke," Kara says. "Mike's very good at keeping his food down now, and he's out for the count."

Lena rests her head back and sighs. "You must think I'm ridiculous," she says. "I feel ridiculous. It's not a big deal to have everyone over like this."

"Are you kidding? It is a big deal," Kara says. "We're becoming one crazy, happy family, just like we were always meant to be."

That gets her a small smile. "Always, huh?"

"Absolutely," Kara says. "You're not about to get rid of us that easy."

Lena gives her a genuine, joyful grin, and they stay like that for a little while and pretend they don't hear Winn calling for them to return.

(Plus, Lena elaborates on the story with her mother and her ex, which makes it much easier for Kara to forget about everything else but this moment.)

.

.

.

The apartment feels too noisy now.

Kara tosses and turns and gets up at least twice, just to check on Mike as he sleeps in his crib. It's just the nerves, she knows, but she's just not ready for any change; from her spot on the bed she can see the crib tucked against the wall, standing taller than his bassinet had. If she concentrates hard enough she can hear his breathing, low and steady, and it should be soothing but it isn't.

Every sound from outside makes her skin prickle. A car passes; a branch scrapes a window; sirens wail somewhere in the distance. Kara listens to every one and then panics, because that means she isn't listening to Mike.

The only solution she comes up with to this problem is to sit up in bed and scroll through news feeds on her phone; at least that way she has a chance of staying awake. On impulse she sends Lena a text that reads _I can't sleep :(_ and doesn't think much of it, already pulling up the latest CatCo article that she'd usually save to read over breakfast.

(She certainly doesn't expect Lena to start _calling_ her.)

"Hello?"

"Hey." Lena's voice is barely a whisper. "You should be asleep."

"You should be too," Kara says. A beat. "You know, I'm literally two doors down from you."

"And your point is?" It sounds like Lena's smiling. "Talk to me. Why can't you sleep?"

"I don't know. I'm just...I'm thinking about Mike." Kara feels silly admitting it aloud, but Lena just waits for her to continue. "And how he's sleeping in that crib for the first time. What if we didn't build it right? What if it's uncomfortable?"

"Does he look like he's uncomfortable?"

"He's asleep." Kara rests her head against the wall, shoulders slumping as a surge of exhaustion overcomes her. "And I feel like I'm supposed to stay awake and watch him. To make sure he's okay. Which probably sounds dumb."

"It's not dumb. I get it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." After this Lena's line goes quiet, but it doesn't sound like she's fallen asleep. "Would you feel better if you had some company?"

Kara tries—and fails—to keep her heart from thumping dangerously quick. "Like a sleepover?" she says weakly.

There is a pregnant pause, again. "I guess so," Lena says faintly. "Would that be okay?"

"It would."

The click of the call ending only makes Kara's heart go crazier. In a minute Lena is quietly pushing open her door, dressed in the fuzzy pajamas Kara had bought her on an impulse, running her fingers through her messy hair. She might smile, Kara thinks, but it's hard to tell in the dark.

"I can sleep on the floor if you want," Lena says softly.

"No, don't," Kara blurts out, a bit louder than intended. "I—I mean, if you're okay with it, you can stay up here with me."

"Okay." Lena awkwardly comes to rest on the edge of the bed, and once Kara scoots over, gets under the covers beside her. "If you're sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. You're my best friend," Kara says, nudging Lena's arm with her elbow. Lena stiffens when Kara edges closer to her, which only makes Kara's heart sink. "I'm sorry. Is it weird to sleep with you?"

"Um." Lena shifts a little. Maybe she's restless. "No? I'm just not used to sleeping beside anyone."

"As long as you don't snore I won't mind," Kara teases, and that works to make Lena laugh. Well, it's more like a huff of a laugh, but it's a laugh nonetheless.

"I don't _snore_."

"Uh-huh," Kara says. "I'll believe it when I see it." She wishes she could see Lena's face, to better understand what she's thinking. "Lena? Can I hold you?"

There is a long moment of silence. "What?"

Now it's a good thing they're not facing each other, because Kara feels her face burn hot. It was a stupid thing to say to begin with, she knows; they're _friends_ , and she's not trying to push outside of any boundary that automatically sets for their relationship, but—it's not like they don't touch each other. That's one of their _things_ , the casual touches that are comfortable. Easy.

Lena is never a really touchy person with anyone else, she knows, and maybe this is new to her; Kara doesn't really want to come out and say _I like knowing you're being held by someone who cares about you, and I know you like that feeling too._

Her disastrous brain, however, does manage to get her to blurt out, "I know how much you like being touched."

"... _what_?"

"Not like—I just want to cuddle you! That's it!"

In a second Lena's hand is being placed over her mouth. "Shh," she warns. "You're about to yell."

"Oh. Shoot. I wasn't thinking," Kara says, and the reality that her mouth is muffled by Lena's hand means her words come out garbled.

Lena slowly lowers her hand, and Kara is captivated. There's no other word for it. Her fingers drag against Kara's lips and those green eyes meet her hers in the dark and it feels—it feels so heavy. Their faces are so close that she can imagine what it would be like to lean in and bridge that small gap and it is...really very distracting.

Finally Lena speaks, and it's with a cautious smile that she says, "So is cuddling part of the sleepover experience?"

Kara clears her throat, and tries to laugh. " _Obviously_ ," she says. "That's why I offered."

"Mm. Well, I wouldn't know," Lena says. "I've never had a proper sleepover before. I tried to make Lex have a sleepover with me once, but he always insisted my dolls were haunted and wouldn't set foot in my room. I hold it over his head to this day."

"Every time you talk about Lex I feel like I should be taking notes for blackmail material."

"You don't have to worry about that, I blackmail him with it already," Lena rolls back over on her side so they're no longer face-to-face, but it's with a relaxed sigh; Lex isn't a touchy subject tonight, it seems.

Kara takes that moment to tentatively place her arm over Lena's waist, which is both a wonderful and torturous feeling. She takes pride in the fact that Lena sinks into the touch, and nestles even closer, until she can feel the tickle of Lena's hair against her face.

"Thank you for staying," Kara feels compelled to whisper, because she really doesn't want them to stay in silence. "I'm really glad you're my friend."

"Yeah, okay, you sap," Lena says, but it sounds like she's smiling, and she's begun to trace patterns against the back of Kara's hand lightly. "I guess I like you too."

"Don't act like you don't love me. I'm the best roommate you've ever had."

"You're the _only_ roommate I've ever had. Unless Mike counts. Then in that case I like him better."

"Everyone picks him over me. It's so mean," Kara says. "I do see the appeal, though. He's hands down my favorite son."

Lena snorts at that. "He's your only son," she says, and then decides, "You're so ridiculous. I think you need to get some sleep."

"I can't go to _sleep_. That defeats the purpose of a sleepover," Kara says. "And I'm still worried about Mike."

"You can sleep for a little while. I'll stay awake and make sure Mike's okay," Lena says. "Then I'll wake you up so we can trade."

"You can't do that, you need sleep more than I do!" Kara has to pause for a second, there. "You really don't sleep enough to begin with."

"Kara. If you're staying up then so I am. You can't change my mind."

"You're a very stubborn person, do you know that?" Kara says, pretending to be miffed, but she gratefully squeezes Lena's waist and feels the way her body shakes with quiet laughter.

"Takes one to know one," she says. "So. Tell me what else we're supposed to do in a sleepover. The movies always say ghost stories, and I have a really good one."

Kara buries her face against Lena's shoulder, feeling warm and comfortable and, oddly enough, at ease. Lena tends to have that effect. "Okay," she says, smiling. "Hit me."

.

.

.

Marked under one of the oddest work days of all time? This one. And it's not even one o'clock yet.

Cat is in a strange mood. She's cancelled two meetings just so she can talk on the phone, and won't let anyone within three feet of her office to check up on her. It's cryptic even for her, and Kara isn't sure what this means; the last time Cat was in this state was when Adam first came to town, and that had been a rough week for everyone involved.

When her break for lunch rolls around she calls Alex, to see what she thinks about all this. Alex thinks it's not that big a deal.

"But I've never seen Ms. Grant like this," Kara says. "It's strange. She's not distressed or anything, but she's...I don't know. She seems like she has a lot on her mind."

"She's your boss, Kara. I don't think she pays you to worry about her state of mind," says Alex, likely around a mouthful of food; she must be taking her lunch at the same time.

"That's so mean, Alex!" Kara says. "She's not _just_ my boss. We're practically family now."

"Because she's Mike's grandma?"

"Don't call her that, Winn swears these lines are bugged."

Alex is probably rolling her eyes right about now. "I'm sure Cat will let you know what's going on eventually," she says. "Or if not knowing is really bugging you that much, you could just call Adam and see if he has any inside info."

"That would be weird," Kara says. "We're not...you know. We're not in the best place."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Alex says. "I thought you two were friends again."

Kara sighs. "We're trying to be. But it's hard to go back to the way things were," she says. "Maybe it was a mistake to move out." She unpacks her lunch as she speaks, just to busy her hands with something. She finds that she's lost her appetite already.

"I would've thought you were thrilled you moved out," Alex says, "since you moved in with _Lena_. How's that going? Maggie's convinced you're dying."

"It's going just fine," Kara says, defensively, and she doesn't even realize she's gripped her plastic fork too hard until she feels it crack. "Nothing's really changed. With us, at least. I just...see her a lot more. And once we slept together, but it wasn't really a big deal because she left before I woke up. And one time I came home just as Veronica was leaving, which wasn't fun, but—"

"Uh. Can you backtrack for a second, there? What do you mean you slept together?"

"We had a sleepover," Kara says. "She was helping me with Mike."

"A sleepover. Okay. _Please_ be more specific next time," Alex coughs.

"What?"

"Nothing. Go on. Living with Lena is terrible because…"

"It isn't! That's the _problem_ ," Kara says. "All it's doing is making me see how much I like her. Gosh, Alex, I like her so much. And I'm the world's worst best friend for thinking that."

"It's not a bad thing to have a crush, Kara," Alex tells her patiently. "She'd be so lucky to date you."

"You're supposed to say that, you're my sister." Glumly, Kara stabs a piece of broccoli and eyes it suspiciously, because this is decidedly _not_ the lasagna she'd packed last night. Sure enough, when she checks her messages she finds she has one waiting from Lena.

It reads _I think I took your lunch by accident?_ and it really shouldn't make her smile as much as she does.

Alex's voice brings her back to reality soon enough. "Why don't you try dating again?"

"What? No. I did, remember?" Kara says, too concerned with tapping out a reply to Lena assuring her it's okay (even if Kara might not make it through this meal). "That didn't work out at all."

"Maybe Jack just wasn't your type," Alex says. "Maggie says they got a new transfer to the precinct a few days ago. She's been bugging me to give you her number, if you're interested."

"I am very not interested in dating again, thank you," Kara says.

At that exact moment she looks away from her lunch, about to cast a glance in Winn's direction to mouth for him to save her, when she notices that she's not alone. Even worse, she might not have been alone for a _while_.

Siobhan Smythe is standing in front of her desk. This might be a hallucination.

"You say that now, but you haven't even met this new girl," Alex goes on, entirely unaware that Kara is about to die on the spot. "I'll give her your number."

Siobhan smiles when she sees that Kara's finally noticed her, but it's not really a _smile_ so much as it is an amused twist of the left corner of her mouth. Either way, it makes Kara freeze.

"Uh," she says, "I'm going to have to call you back?" She doesn't even wait for Alex to respond before she slams her work phone back into its dock, an awkward laugh escaping before she can stop it. "Hi. Um. Siobhan? What—what are you doing here?"

"Hi," Siobhan says, smile growing wider. "What a small world." She holds out a portfolio, which Kara—in her confusion—takes, and continues, "So you must be Ms. Grant's assistant."

"I am," Kara says. "I'm sorry, what exactly can I do for you?"

"I have an appointment," Siobhan says. "Well, more like an interview. At one-thirty?"

"Huh. Well, I didn't…" Before Kara can apologize and say there's no interview on the schedule, she finds that indeed there is one; it's clearly been added in by Ms. Grant, because she hasn't touched the schedule since yesterday. "Oh. Let me check with Ms. Grant, and see if she's still available. I thought I'd cleared the rest of her afternoon."

"I can reschedule, if—"

"No, no, just give me a minute?" Kara feels a tad flustered as she rises, flashing an apologetic smile before she scrambles to Cat's office. She catches Winn's eyes as she rises, and he's gesturing in a very frantic and not-at-all subtle way—probably to ask why Siobhan's here—and the most she can give him is a shrug.

Cat calls for her to come in when she knocks. She is furiously texting when Kara shuts the door behind her, and only spares her a, "What happened this time, Kiera?"

"Um, I didn't cancel your one-thirty," Kara says. "Should I tell Siobhan to come back later, or—?"

"Who?"

"Siobhan Smythe," Kara says patiently. "She's set for an interview at one-thirty."

That elicits a curious reaction; Cat almost perks up. "Oh, that's right," she says. "She's here for the assistant position."

"The…" Kara stops. "You mean my _job_?"

Cat sighs, shaking her head disapprovingly at the way Kara gapes. "Don't act so surprised," she sniffs. "You and I both knew this was only temporary." She beckons for Kara to come closer, and Kara—in somewhat of a daze—does.

Kara sits down across from Cat and places her hands in her lap, not sure if she's allowed to ask questions when she's getting fired. Is she allowed to be fired before the day's even over? Is she supposed to have rights for this kind of thing?

"Don't let it get to your head," Cat says, either unaware of Kara's panic or ignoring it, "but being my assistant has always been a waste of your potential."

"But I'm great at it!" Kara blurts out. "I'm sorry Ms. Grant. I didn't mean to interrupt. B-but I've always been a dedicated worker, and I really need this job—"

"I'm not _firing_ you, Kiera," Cat cuts her off, giving her an exasperated look like she can't believe Kara is even suggesting it. "I'm promoting you."

And that makes Kara relax, a little. But also not. "Oh," she says dumbly. "What am I being promoted to?"

"That's up to you to decide." Cat leans back into her chair, casting a scrutinizing eye on the way Kara fidgets. "You wrote up decent notes when you surveyed that law firm...Zorel something or other. You wouldn't be half bad as a writer."

"Really?" Kara perks up.

"Or whatever it is you choose," Cat says. "I'm prepared to offer you any position we have here. Take some time to figure it out."

"That's," Kara shakes her head, "I—I don't even know what to say, Ms. Grant. Thank you."

"Don't thank me just yet," Cat says. "I'm counting on you not to let me down with your choice. Now," and here, she nods towards the door, "bring in whoever's waiting. Let's hope I'm not letting you go for nothing, Kara."

"You got it," Kara says, getting to her feet. She knows Cat trusts her, but this—this feels now like Cat _appreciates_ her. It's the last thing she expected, but her first impression is that she doesn't _mind_.

Though she won't lie; some part of her is a little terrified, and maybe that shows on her face, because when she heads back to her desk Siobhan sees her and asks:

"Bad news?"

Kara blinks. For a moment she'd forgotten about Siobhan. "No," she says. "Ms. Grant said she can do the interview. Um. I'm sorry I wasn't aware of it—"

"That's okay." Siobhan crosses her arms, and tilts her head as if she wants to say something else. After a beat, she does. "So...this interview is for an assistant position. Ms. Grant must be overworking you if she needs two assistants."

"Well, you're actually interviewing for my job," Kara says. "Not that I'd put it past Ms. Grant to actually hire two assistants."

"Now that's a shame," Siobhan says, a curious smile forming on her lips. "And here I was looking forward to the possibility of us working closely together." She places her hand, suddenly, on Kara's forearm; her hand warmly slides to her elbow, causing goosebumps to form on Kara's skin. "Unless you're staying at CatCo?"

"I, uh," Kara clears her throat, feels herself blush. "I am."

"Then there's hope yet," Siobhan says. She looks past Kara's head and adds, "I'd better not keep her waiting. I feel like that won't make a good first impression."

She might wink as she brushes past. Kara honestly can't remember.

Winn slides up to her desk the instant the coast is clear, and says, "Kara, if you can't tell that girl's flirting with you now I feel like you're beyond all hope."

"...shut up, Winn."

.

.

.

When Kara comes home, she hears running water and Mike's laughter; it brightens her day in an instant, and for a moment, she forgets about the pressure to find a new job and Siobhan's confusing flirting and just about everything else.

"Hey, you're home," Lena says. She's sitting on the couch, absentmindedly chewing on the end of her pen as she flips through a stack of papers. "I told Maggie she could leave if she wanted, but she said she'd keep watching Mike until you came back. I hope that's okay?"

"Of course," Kara says, dropping her bag onto the coffee table. "How come you're home early?"

"Jess kicked me out of the office," Lena says, without looking up. She's likely been home for a while; she's wearing sweatpants and her reading glasses, the frames of which rest low on her nose. "So I had to take work here. Um, Maggie is giving Mike a bath?"

"That's nice of her," Kara says. "I meant to shower him when I got home anyway."

"She _is_ doing this in the sink, though?"

"Yeah, she does that," Kara says. "I'll relieve her of her babysitting duties for the night. Have you eaten yet? You ican/i actually come home early and relax sometimes. That's allowed."

"Give me a minute and I'm all yours," Lena promises, still without glancing at Kara once, but it makes Kara smile nonetheless.

She heads into the kitchen to meet Maggie—who is indeed showering Mike in their kitchen sink—and blows her baby a kiss when he notices her.

"Hey, Maggie, I'm home," Kara says. "How was he?"

"He wasn't that much trouble," Maggie says, lifting him up high; he giggles, and looks back at Kara, practically twisting out of Maggie's arms in his attempt to get his mom to hold him instead. "Hey, kid, don't do that—if I drop you it's on you."

"Don't tell him that," Kara says, accepting her squirming bundle of a son once Maggie wraps him up into a towel. "I'm really sorry I dragged you away from your day off."

"Come on, you know I'm always happy to see this little boy," Maggie says, wiping her wet hands off onto her already soaked T-shirt. "How come Adam couldn't make it? Isn't he taking time off work to watch him?"

"He's more or less gone back to work," Kara says. "I don't know. He works less days, but he's still _there_."

"That sucks." Maggie wrings out the bottom of her shirt over the sink, definitely more preoccupied with that instead of Adam.

"Yeah." Kara doesn't want to think about Adam either, so she says, "Do you want to stay for dinner? Lena and I will probably order in."

"No, that's alright, Alex's still at work," Maggie says. "If I head back now I can cook something."

"Okay. I'll go get this troublemaker into some clothes, then," Kara says. "Say bye to Maggie, Mike!"

Mike follows Maggie with wide eyes as she leans in to kiss his forehead, trying to crane his neck up when she gets too close, and squealing with her kiss takes him by surprise. Kara takes his fist and moves it like he's waving goodbye, which he _loves_ ; he gets very excited when she waves back, and smacks his hand against his towel after Kara lets go.

"Bye, Lena," Maggie calls as she's halfway out the door, and Lena only pauses to lift her head to echo the goodbye; Kara can't resist teasing,

"So I take it you're not done?"

Lena finally looks at her, and she smiles faintly, almost like she can't resist it. "Give me one more minute," she says. "Promise."

"I think I could take over Jess's job," Kara says. "It seems like all she does is try to get you to stop working so much."

"Ha-ha," Lena says, with a roll of her eyes that's more amused than exasperated. "Mike, please don't copy your mom's sense of humor."

"That's rude," Kara says. "Isn't it, Mike?"

" _Ah_ ," he babbles, and that brings about an unexpected burst of laughter from Lena.

"The both of you are going to gang up on me now, aren't you?" she says. "Go away, you're distracting me. Seriously, I'll be done in a minute."

"Okay," Kara warns, "but when I come back from changing Mike you have to officially put away all work! We're ordering Italian."

"I know you just mean _pizza_ , Kara. You don't have to pretend it's anything else," Lena calls after her.

"Pizza is Italian! It sounds fancier that way," Kara calls back, already halfway down the hallway.

"Somehow I think Domino's is not what the Italians had in mind!"

Kara takes the warm feeling of this domesticity with her as she and Mike tackle their post-bath routine. He squirms away from her hands when she puts baby lotion on him; she kisses his stomach to make him laugh; he settles his head against the crook of her shoulder after he's dressed in warm pajamas, damp hair tickling at the side of her neck.

These moments always give her some time to think. Having Mike tucked into her arms is so comforting that she feels like she could take on anything, if she wanted to.

"I know you're too young to know what I'm asking you, Mike," Kara whispers against his temple. "I don't even know why I'm asking you. Because I'm not even sure if I'm ready, you know? Or if this is the best idea." She strokes over his back with one hand, and sighs. "But what if your Aunt Alex is right? What if I need to properly start dating? That's a dumb question, because you don't know what dating is." She pauses. "Also, don't say dumb. That's a bad word."

He lifts his head up from her shoulder, apparently having decided he's not in the mood to go to sleep. Kara tries to ease him back anyway, singing lullabies and rocking him back and forth, but he won't have it; he starts to whine, and only lets up when she takes him back outside.

"Mike won't sleep," Kara announces, but she stops short when she realizes that Lena isn't on the couch anymore.

She isn't left wondering what's happened, however, because a second later Lena emerges from her room out of breath.

"Kara, I'm sorry," she says. "I forgot I was supposed to meet Veronica for dinner tonight. It completely slipped my mind, I don't understand…" She trails off like she's still a bit lost, gathering her papers off the coffee table to straighten up the living room.

She's gotten changed out of her casual clothes but walks around frazzled, dress half-slipping off her shoulder because she hasn't zipped it up yet. Her hair's been thrown into a ponytail and her makeup is done but she is also still wearing her glasses; she just about trips over her own heels in her haste to get everything in order.

"It's okay," Kara says, quickly strapping Mike in to his baby swing so she can help. "Let me clean up, you can finish getting ready."

"No, I—I should cancel," Lena says. "Wait. I should've done that before I got…" She stops, suddenly, and flushes pink as her dress almost falls entirely off her torso. "Would you zip me up?"

"Yeah, come here," Kara chuckles, easily sweeping Lena's hair aside to do so. She's not sure if her fingers shake as she finds the zipper, but she _does_ almost forget how to breathe; suddenly she knows what her best friend's naked back looks like. Which. Is not something she's going to be able to get out of her mind for days, she's sure.

"Thank you," Lena sighs. "I'm such a mess tonight." She bends over to strap on her heels, nearly falling over in the process. "I've given up, Veronica's seen me looking worse." She accidentally grabs Kara's bag, fixes it with an odd look, and then exchanges it for hers immediately after. "I ordered your pizza, it should be arriving in fifteen minutes. Am I wearing lipstick? No, I remember putting it on. I think I'm wearing lipstick."

"Lena."

"Shit, she's outside. I think I'm decent. Bye, Mike." This she punctuates with a kiss to his head. "Bye, Kara."

" _Lena_."

"What? What am I missing?" Lena stops at the doorway, brow crinkled adorably in confusion.

Kara reaches out and gently slides Lena's reading glasses off her face, just slow enough that she sees every flutter of eyelashes when Lena blinks, just lightly enough that Lena can't tell how much she almost second-guesses herself. "Have fun, okay?" she says. "We'll have Italian some other time."

"It's still just pizza," Lena says, but she has an earnest smile on her face, and—in an unexpected move—she throws her arms around Kara's neck.

Kara hugs her as tightly as she dares, stomach flip-flopping all the while, but it's still over too soon. Unlike any other night where Lena goes to meet Veronica, Kara doesn't feel a rush of jealousy simmering; no, it's something much more manageable, but just barely so.

It's the kind of feeling that makes her think maybe she can get over Lena if she tries. How hard can it possibly be?


End file.
